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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Has anyone here ever really wanted a baby but decided against it?


   Dh and I have been kicking around the idea of having a third baby for a few years now... and my heart really wants it. But the timing is so bad that I know it just wouldn't be right to myself and the rest of my family to have another baby any time soon. I feel like I created a baby in my heart and that I'm greiving the loss of a baby (that I never had) by deciding not to have one more. I hope I don't regret not having one more years down the line. 

    Now, I know that I can be a very stubborn and impatient person at times... so I'm trying to remind myself that I should be thankful for the two blessings that I already have (and I am thankful). Everytime I see a baby, I feel like it's a little sting and gives me anxiety about this decision though. It's very hard not to think about the "what ifs" day after day. I just wanted to know if anyone else has gone through this. 

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:13 AM
Replies (11-19):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:32 AM

I really want a second, but we are trying to buy a house, we are in a 1 bedroom apartment right now.  I know it wouldn't be fair for all of us to share 1 room. Also ds is severely delayed with asd and seizures and i honestly dont think I could devote myself to 2 special needs children, I know if I had to I would, but in my heart I know I would be drained. I'm conflicted, I never saw myself with only 1 child.  I am 1 of 4 and so is dh.

usmcwifey11
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:36 AM
I know how you feel. My husband and I have decided to drop the subject for now, and when we are done at the next duty station we will talk about it again. The kids will be 7 and 9, he would actually be home instead of gone all the time (I had one baby by myself, I dont want to do.it again), and we would be more financially stable. It's still hard to wait even though I know its best.
RunningMommaof2
by Kelly on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:37 AM


That's pretty much where I am at too. I am completeing an A.S. in the fall, and just got accepted into a really great school for a B.S. I know that I am elligible for some large scholarships. The only problem is that I have to be a full-time student to get them. I just don't think I can juggle 2 kids, a newborn and a full-time course load. Plus, I just recently lost all of my baby weight and I FINALLY feel better about myself. I have so much on plate right now that I feel like it's unrealistic to think that I can handle another baby. 

Quoting GirlWithANikon:

I feel the exact same way. I don't see us living comfortably with 3 children though, it would be fine with the baby but the baby is going to grow into an expensive child and teenager. I don't want to have to tell my children no not because they don't deserve or need it but because we can't afford it, not be able to afford to do nice/fun things, etc. Also, I don't ever see me completely school with another child.

It does hurt to see my friends having thrm though. I think I will always regret it. But I would probably wish a lot of things were different if I did have the baby and so I should go with the lesser evil for all involved I guess.



SouthernMamaof1
by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:38 AM

I would really want another one, but due to financial reasons we can't.

We believe in setting our son for the brightest future possible.  That means fully supporting him 100% through college.  We do not want him to be faced with student loans when he graduates. My parents did the same for me.

I did not have to work when I was in college.  They paid for tuition, books, rent, food, money for entertainment, utilities...everything.  I know some people think that makes you appreciate your college degree less, but infact it just made me appreciate them even more.

I can only afford this for 1 child. Therefore, I won't have more than 1 child. I refuse to have more children than I can fully suport until they are out of college.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:38 AM

Yes we have but my neurologist told me specifically at my age(43)  there is more of a chance with neural tube defects and other problems due to my seizure condition.  It is not worth taking the chance for us considering we have 2 young children. 

p608319chef
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:42 AM
I want another. SO has 3 adult children and grandkids (he is 42) so he feels like he doesn't want another. There are just too many other things going on in our lives right now and if we had another I would want them close together. That's most likely not going to happen. I feel exactly how you do about feeling like I an grieving for the child I want and will probably regret it for the rest of my life.
junebaby11
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:49 AM
Im pregnant with my last im only having two. I know personally I couldn't give enough attention to more than 2 and I dont think its fair or right if you can't. Plus financially we are better with just two. Df has two adult children aswell. Im only young people think it will be a big mistake gor me but df is older than me and I want him to enjoy them and at his age he still can im not waiting 10 more years it just wouldn't work. Plus we enjoy travelling i can cope with two. Not 3 that means an even bigger car lol no thanks. But yeah sometimes I think oh maybe we should have another then I think it just wouldn't be fair.
RunningMommaof2
by Kelly on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:56 AM


Dh is older than me too. He is 44. That's the reason why I can't just wait a few years and have another when I'm ready. It's now or never. 

Quoting junebaby11:

Im pregnant with my last im only having two. I know personally I couldn't give enough attention to more than 2 and I dont think its fair or right if you can't. Plus financially we are better with just two. Df has two adult children aswell. Im only young people think it will be a big mistake gor me but df is older than me and I want him to enjoy them and at his age he still can im not waiting 10 more years it just wouldn't work. Plus we enjoy travelling i can cope with two. Not 3 that means an even bigger car lol no thanks. But yeah sometimes I think oh maybe we should have another then I think it just wouldn't be fair.



junebaby11
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:23 AM
I wasn't going to say but hes 45. We discussed this when before getting pregnant. Hes going for snip after this (if he can get the courage lmao) im too young fir tubes to be tied yet


Quoting RunningMommaof2:


Dh is older than me too. He is 44. That's the reason why I can't just wait a few years and have another when I'm ready. It's now or never. 


Quoting junebaby11:

Im pregnant with my last im only having two. I know personally I couldn't give enough attention to more than 2 and I dont think its fair or right if you can't. Plus financially we are better with just two. Df has two adult children aswell. Im only young people think it will be a big mistake gor me but df is older than me and I want him to enjoy them and at his age he still can im not waiting 10 more years it just wouldn't work. Plus we enjoy travelling i can cope with two. Not 3 that means an even bigger car lol no thanks. But yeah sometimes I think oh maybe we should have another then I think it just wouldn't be fair.





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