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my 18 yr old moved in with her secret boy friend .......really need advise !.....update to answer everyone. Went to visit and guess what !

Posted by Anonymous
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im done crying now i need advise how to handle this , a week ago my 18 yr old showed up with her 22 yr old boyfriend weve never met , announced they were in love and she was moving in with him immediatly , i was stunned needless to say . Ive been asked if we had had a fight or something , no the only thing i asked was for her to get a job to help pay her car insurance . after moving out she wont speak to any of her family she will speak breifly on facebook but if you ask a question she wont answer , this is not like her at all , my mommy sensees are screaming something is wrong . how would you handle this ? i have to go to work now and will read answers when i come home .

thankyou everyone for your repsonses, i will try to calm down and back off and wait for her , a backround check is a great idea , her best friend has met him and says she thinks hes a great guy , but dd was afraid we wouldnt like the age differance , she also thinks we are to controling by still having a cerfew for her and asking her to get a job to help pay her portion of the bills , i really didnt think its being controling , after all i had a cerfew until i moved out and got married lol ! But on a good note she invited me to stop by wendsday night and see her new place , maybeits a good thing atleast ill be able to see if hes got my baby locked in a dungeon or ssomething's 

guess what went for a visit ! Yay ! The bf still lives with his parents ! I met them both , I tried not to like them but I really did , we got to talking I explained what happened and that I've never even met the son , dad hit the roof that his son was so disrespectful and we decided we need to all sit down next weekend all parents and the two kids and have a big meeting on the issue , I couldn't agree more , and yes I didn't stay long and didn't give the kids any grief but I have to admit I'm kinda happy that there are some real adults in the house but I got a lot of questions that need answered and so do the other parents now . For starters what kinda twit takes his girlfriend to go live with mommy and daddy

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Kandy on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:29 AM
Ask around and see if anyone knows the guy.
by Emerald Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:29 AM
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I would send her a message and ask to meet up. Ask her to bring her new man you bring dad. Meet in a public place. Tell her you would like to get to know her BF. Talk and listen. At 18 you can't tell her what to do. I would let her know how much the car insurance is. I would also tell her she has 1 month to get a policy under her own name. Its what adults do.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:30 AM

There isn't much you can do. Try to take some time and let your emotions calm down and then talk to her over lunch.

by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:30 AM
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I don't have much advice.
I moved in w my now dh at 18. My mom to this day thinks things are wrong in my life. Which is why I haven't spoken to her since my oldest was 2 and she is 6 now. And they haven't met my youngest and never will

W that being said just bc you think something's wrong doesn't mean there is. And just bc she's not acting like how she used too doesn't mean something's wrong maybe she found someone that she can be herself around.
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:31 AM

She sounds like she is spoiled rotten, and you'll just have to get used to her having her own brain..i'm sure she'll come running home once the boyfriend gets tired of her

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:34 AM

I wonder what made an 18 year old girl leave home to live with her boyfriend she never told her family about.......

I am sorry for your stress and worry, OP, but have you thought about WHY she would be keeping this from you?

What is her home life like?

I don't think this is simply "I'm a legal adult now, so there!" mentality.

by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:34 AM
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I'd do a background check on him. There's a reason your senses are in over drive. Don't be pushy with your daughter. It will make her more distant. You want to be her best friend so she will talk to you.
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:35 AM
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My advice would be to let her know she can come home if she needs, even if it's just to do a load of laundry. And help her get on birth control and try to get to know the boyfriend.

She's 18, she can make her own decisions. That doesn't mean your relationship with her is over.
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:36 AM
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She moved out and you are paying her bills? Uhm. There is something wrong here..... Ask her to meet up and let her know she needs to pay her bills or you'll cut the insurance.

She's a big girl to move out well her man can take care of her now. * that's what my mom told me when I left home at 18*

You should get to know her bf...
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 7:36 AM

I wish I had advice for you OP. 

Here is a bump.

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