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Career Moms: How do you do it?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies
Let me first state; that I am a single mom. I do have a boyfriend who would love to get married and is 'like' a dad to my children. The fact is, I'm not married, I do not even have a ring and dispite his.willingness to help, it's always there that he can just go. He also has a career.

I work at a local retail store. I'm a sales associate and do very well. I've been there five years. The pressure is starting to build if I will become a manager. It's been suggested time and time again that I go ahead and do it.

However, the kids are still young; 5 and 7. Becoming a manager would mean, most nights, I'd work until 6P. Daycare closes at 5:30.

I'm just at a loss the jump in pay would be great, but I wouldn't be there for the kids and I'm their ONLY parent.

So, how do you do it? How do you balance your career and your family?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GOBryan
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:49 AM

You have to get help. I do have my husband and my parents if necessary. 

LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:52 AM
I used babysitters so I didn't have restrictions on my or my husbands time. My babysitter picked the boys up from school and stayed until one of us got home. On my days off, I would make a few meals for the week and/or use the crockpot. In the summer they went to camp and then the babysitter would get them off the bus.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:54 AM
I don't have help though; my parents work and BF works. It's really just me. I can make money stretch but with the pressure to move up and the fact that I really would LOVE to, it's hard. I almost find myself resenting the kids that I can't. I'm prime age for the job and I love what I do. The job they want me for is executive.

I keep telling myself in 4 1/2 years; my oldest will be 12 and it will be easier but it still bugs me that I can't jump start it now!


Quoting GOBryan:

You have to get help. I do have my husband and my parents if necessary. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:56 AM
I have my kids in a daycare now that I absolutely love; it's just the hours of operation suck. How did you find your sitter? How did you get comfortable with him/her? How much per hour? I've always been very nervous of sitters!


Quoting LAXmom21:

I used babysitters so I didn't have restrictions on my or my husbands time. My babysitter picked the boys up from school and stayed until one of us got home. On my days off, I would make a few meals for the week and/or use the crockpot. In the summer they went to camp and then the babysitter would get them off the bus.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:56 AM
My hours were 9-6 when I was a single mom. I was lucky my.grandma helped a lot, but if it were now, I'm your position, I'd find a friend that would be willing to work out an arrangement with you.

When grandma couldn't watch my sin, I had.a couple friends that didn't mind watching him.
Abby.N.Amys.Mom
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:57 AM

Well first and foremost, I have help.  It's easier when there are two parents involved for those conflicting schedules.  My husband and I both work full time and he travels a lot, so it's usually just me and the kiddos.  I'm lucky though, and I get to daycare before it closes.

Do you have any friends or family that would be able to grab them up at 5:30 and watch them for that little bit until you get off?  Is there another daycare around that's open later you could switch to?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 2, 2013 at 8:59 AM
That's another thing; I'm not from this town. I didn't grow up here so I do not have super close friends. I moved here after I had kids so I do have a few girls I'd rather just call acquaintances. They aren't like the soul sisters you grow up with. Just people you know who also, have jobs.


Quoting Anonymous:

My hours were 9-6 when I was a single mom. I was lucky my.grandma helped a lot, but if it were now, I'm your position, I'd find a friend that would be willing to work out an arrangement with you.



When grandma couldn't watch my sin, I had.a couple friends that didn't mind watching him.

JTROX
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:00 AM

My career has great hours for being a mom.  So, I don't have to worry about it too much.  Only evening events a few times a year, mostly 7:30-4.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Neither did I. The friends were people I met and got to know. You have to really improve your situation and stop talking yourself out of it. I moved from a small town to a big city my grandma lived. I got out met parents of my child's friends. Got to know them, and we'd swap care.

As a manager you will also have a lot more flexibility, you could pick them up before 6 and bring them back to color in the back room. Plus as a manager, you may have to work past 6 sometimes.

It's up to you, stay in you're current situation or better it and find a way.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's another thing; I'm not from this town. I didn't grow up here so I do not have super close friends. I moved here after I had kids so I do have a few girls I'd rather just call acquaintances. They aren't like the soul sisters you grow up with. Just people you know who also, have jobs.




Quoting Anonymous:

My hours were 9-6 when I was a single mom. I was lucky my.grandma helped a lot, but if it were now, I'm your position, I'd find a friend that would be willing to work out an arrangement with you.





When grandma couldn't watch my sin, I had.a couple friends that didn't mind watching him.

ddhb2007
by Silver Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:06 AM
You build a village to help you. I know that sounds stupid, but you can't do everything, so you find people that can help you. My husband and I take turns with sick days. If there's a school activity that one or both of us can't attend, we make arrangements with a grandparent. If we need help on short notice we'll call one of our best friends. My daughter has learned that she has an extended "family / village" looking out for her, and she's developed great, nurturing relationships with everyone in that group. It takes effort to nurture the relationships, but that investment pays huge dividends.
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