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I AM doing the right thing! VENT

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 53 Replies
3 moms liked this

12 years ago my DH cheated on me, a son was the result of this affair.  At the time we were having problems, which we worked through.    Our DD and DS are only from May to September apart .

My sister in laws cannot understand why I have accepted this child....well for one thing it is not his fault and he does deserve to know his father, and whether or not I like the circumstances of his existence I can't change it.  DS is a good kid and I feel that I am lucky to be a part of his life as well.  DD is our only child and I enjoy that she has a sibling.  Yes his mother and I get along and I have long since forgiven both of them. 

Now we have a family reunion to attend later this month and my SIL has made it clear that she has a problem with DS being there since he is really not part of the family.  YES he is, he is our child, I may not have given birth to him but I love him fiercely and I don't think I should have to tolerate any indifference to him.

I don't know of anyone else in this situation, but I feel DH and I have put this behind us and have moved on from it, DD and DS are happy and healthy and in our world that is all that matters.

Edit:

Yes SIL is DH sister.  DH cheated 12 years ago, and it only happened once and never again since then.  We had been married 5 years prior to his cheating and had lost a child and it devastated us, he handled it his way which was the wrong way while I went home to Mom and Dad, again our marriage was worth saving and if things could have been handled differently on BOTH of our parts things might have turned out differently.  For those who have been kind I THANK  you sincerely, and for those who aren't so kind, you can say you would do things differently, but until you are in a situation you don't know what will happen.

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TiffanyRose06
by Hufflepuff on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:27 AM
15 moms liked this

Make it known if he's not welcome, you won't be attending. If you love him as your own, he is a part of the family. I think it's wonderful you've loved him instead of hated him like I know so many would.

You're right, he's a kid and he did nothing wrong

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:28 AM
2 moms liked this
While I commend you for being a really strong person, I am reminded of something my husband says. Just because you forgive your spouse for something doesn't mean everyone else will. For the other family members the boy is probably a constant reminder of a painful time. That said, he should not be excluded.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry but I wouldn't want my BILs love child coming to our reunion either. It would just remind my parents that my sister lets her husband walk on her like a door mat and she is not smart enough to move on. Once a cheater always a cheater.
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:31 AM
3 moms liked this
Hugs mama, you are a great person! Tell the idiots to fuck off!
beaularson91
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I'd tell her to shove that shit up her ass, she has no say on who is or isn't apart of your family. Besides he's biologically your DH's so how can she q say he's not allowed to go.

Is she the only person who thinks this way? If she is I'd go anyway and tell her to grow the fuck up. If she's not the only person who says it, then don't go, cuz no child should be made to feel left out.
Kaelaasmom
by Katie on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

 If he isn't welcome, I wouldn't go.

CafeMom Tickers
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this


Wow, are you a woman scorned or what? Once a cheater bs is not always the case.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry but I wouldn't want my BILs love child coming to our reunion either. It would just remind my parents that my sister lets her husband walk on her like a door mat and she is not smart enough to move on. Once a cheater always a cheater.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:45 AM

He has not cheated on me since then and I am far from a doormat for my DH to walk all over.  I could have walked away, I chose to work on my marriage and salvage it, because it was worth saving to me.  Most in our family have chosen to forgive DH for this, it is two catty SIL's that can't.   

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry but I wouldn't want my BILs love child coming to our reunion either. It would just remind my parents that my sister lets her husband walk on her like a door mat and she is not smart enough to move on. Once a cheater always a cheater.

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Well, he is a bastard child. I wouldn't want him there either
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:49 AM
So you punish a child for the actions of a parent? So mature and classy of you.


Quoting Anonymous:

Well, he is a bastard child. I wouldn't want him there either

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