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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Am I being fair to say if she wants extras, she needs to pay?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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Question: Should she have to pay for her extra snacks?

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DH's cousin moved in with us 3 months ago. She is 19, she was living with her grandparents but they wanted to move back to the Philippines so she moved in with us.She is in nursing school (which her grandparents pay for) while she works as a nursing assistant. She makes about $1000 per month working part time (of course this is after taxes and since she doesn't make much and she is in school, when she files her income tax return, she gets just about every penny she pays in taxes back)

She has her own room and bathroom and is required to do very minimal housework and all we charge her in rent is $200 for rent plus  $50 for utilities, and $150 for groceries for the whole month. That means she pays us $400 a month. Lately though, she has been asking me to pick up certain snacks at the grocery store. I don't think I should have to do that. I think $150 a month should be just for the meals she eats and the fact that she gets free run of the kitchen, I don't think it should also require me to pick up things specifically for her. The things she asks for aren't cheap either. DH said it's up to me so before I tell her that if she wants extras she will have to buy them herself, I want to be sure that is what is fair.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:45 PM
Replies (11-20):
KGreen75
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:52 PM
2 moms liked this

Since you charge her a grocery fee, she should get a say in what that $150 buys.

ambermarie2006
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:52 PM
6 moms liked this
I would stop charging her for groceries and let her do her own shopping.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
abbysmommy429
by Bronze Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:52 PM

She should have some say.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM

That would cause even more issues between storage (who puts their stuff where) and cooking, because she would have to cook her own meals.


Quoting ambermarie2006:

I would stop charging her for groceries and let her do her own shopping.



Mazie0723
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM
$150 a month is a lot for one person. Maybe tell her to just buy all her own food.
ecerka
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:54 PM
She definitely should be able to ask you to pick up a few of the things She likes. If I charged a person for food while they lived with me they'd definitely get some input on what they like or want.
almondpigeon
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm kind of on the fence about this. If she works part time & goes to school full time, how many meals is she actually eating at your house? $150 sounds like a huge bill for one person's groceries. Is she really eating that much?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:55 PM

I find this whole division of groceries a little silly.  She is paying you $150 a month in groceries, shouldn't she have a say in it?  Talk to her because it just kinda sounds like she has no input in said grocery shopping and you just seem put out because she's got some requests.  If you are doing grocery shopping for the entire household and she is contributing money to it, then she should have a say.  If it's a special request, then that's a different story.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:55 PM

I agree, the $400 she pays us for everything wouldn't even cover a studio apartment in this area, much less utilities and food.



Quoting Motherof3inNJ:

Yes, I'm with you on this one. In her culture, families may do more for each other than they Americans do, but she is here and has to conform. I'm sure she's doing better living at your house than she would be in her own apartment.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:57 PM
2 moms liked this

 I actually disagree since 150.00 is alot for groceries for one person and them not be allowed to have any snacks or pick out the food..you sound resentful that she is there...

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