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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He Is Lucky I'm Not A Crazy, Violent Girlfriend

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 77 Replies

So last night SO and I got into an arguement over....dun dun dun...MONEY. Recently I let him start doing our monthly budgets (we used to do them sperately and compare). We split all household bills 50/50. This includes rent, water, electricity, satellite, internet, cell phones, food, and the cost to raise our son (ie diapers, wipes, formula, food). I have 3 daughters with my ex husband.

His monthyly income is in the range of $3,500 after taxes. Mine is around $1,400 a month, give or take $100 depending on the month. 

So, he told me last night my half of the bills came to just over $1,100. I asked him if I could see the spreadsheet so I could see where that money was going. So I looked over the budget and had some concerns. I brought them to his attention because frankly, I just can't afford to pay more than necessary.

My biggest concern was this:

For my eldest daughters birthday he and I agreed that we would get her a cell phone on our plan. When we discussed it we agreed that I would continue to pay my half of the bill, plus the extra $20 a month for DD's line. When I looked at the budget last night, what he did was split the main part of the bill (talk and text) 3 ways. Then he put that I was paying 2/3 of the bill plus the extra $20 and taxes and fees. So basically where I should have been paying about $85 for mine and my daughters portion of the cell phone bill, he was having me pay about $130. Apparently this payment of $130 was going to be my third. I didn't think before to check his budgeting so I already paid that amount in April and May (this was for June's bill). 

My SO says that since there are 3 people sharing the lines that it should be split 3 ways. I understand his point, I told him that. My point is it's NOT what we agreed on. I know that I can't afford to pay 2/3 of the phone bill. If I had thought he was going to make me pay that much I would have just gotten DD a prepaid and put like $20 a month on it. 

So when I told him that I couldn't afford topay that much, and how I felt like I was being "ripped off" and taken advantage of, he went off on a tangent about me needing to learn how to save money.

I was like REALLY?!?! I don't have the freaking money to save. I don't ask him for a dime for my daughters. I take care of 100% of their needs by myself. I don't even get child support. When our son needs clothes, I'm usually the one to buy them. Sneakers? ME. The occasional treat for the children? YEAH, I PAY THAT!! School supplies, school uniforms, clothes??? ALL ME! And I do all this with the average of $300 a month I have left over after bills. WTH am I supposed to be saving? The occasional $2.50 I use to treat myself to a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee?!?!

He had the nerve to point out that HE is able to save money. I'm like yeah, that's pretty easy when you make 3x's more than I do and you have mommy, daddy, grandma, sister etc that send you money for everything. Oh, it's your birthday? Here's $500 from mom, $500 from dad, $200 from grandma, $50 from sister...OH, it's father's day, have $50 from each of your family members. 

I don't get that. My family doesn't send me handouts. In my family we work for what we have...we don't just get that crap handed to us.

I mean, this whole thing started over me paying 2/3 of the cellphone bill. Now, we haven't even spoken since last night.

Am I being unreasonable or is he being unfair?


Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:45 AM

BUMP!

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Sounds like an asshole

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:48 AM
7 moms liked this

 You guys are completely tit-for-tat.  A realationship shouldn't be a competition. This relationship is doomed.

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:48 AM
1 mom liked this
This is honestly why I would never combine finances with someone that I wasn't married to. Call me old fashion if you will...
gypsy_rose
by Kandy on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:48 AM
if you don't work it out your relationship will never last.
mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Pay for what you use and what your kids use, no more. no more splitting the bills just pay for what you and your kids use. and if you still don't have enough money at the end of the month to make your bills then you need to find another job
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:50 AM
bump
nerdymom28
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:50 AM

 I think you're both to blame.

Mommy_Natural
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:51 AM
I agree. My husband makes more than double what I do but nothing is like MY bill or HIS bill. We both put our checks in the same account and pay bills together and then see what we have left.

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 You guys are completely tit-for-tat.  A realationship shouldn't be a competition. This relationship is doomed.

Roo1234
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:51 AM
5 moms liked this
you agreed to onething, he changed the agreement to benefit him. yes, this is a red flag... I'm sure it isn't the first one in this relationship.
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