So last night SO and I got into an arguement over....dun dun dun...MONEY. Recently I let him start doing our monthly budgets (we used to do them sperately and compare). We split all household bills 50/50. This includes rent, water, electricity, satellite, internet, cell phones, food, and the cost to raise our son (ie diapers, wipes, formula, food). I have 3 daughters with my ex husband.
His monthyly income is in the range of $3,500 after taxes. Mine is around $1,400 a month, give or take $100 depending on the month.
So, he told me last night my half of the bills came to just over $1,100. I asked him if I could see the spreadsheet so I could see where that money was going. So I looked over the budget and had some concerns. I brought them to his attention because frankly, I just can't afford to pay more than necessary.
My biggest concern was this:
For my eldest daughters birthday he and I agreed that we would get her a cell phone on our plan. When we discussed it we agreed that I would continue to pay my half of the bill, plus the extra $20 a month for DD's line. When I looked at the budget last night, what he did was split the main part of the bill (talk and text) 3 ways. Then he put that I was paying 2/3 of the bill plus the extra $20 and taxes and fees. So basically where I should have been paying about $85 for mine and my daughters portion of the cell phone bill, he was having me pay about $130. Apparently this payment of $130 was going to be my third. I didn't think before to check his budgeting so I already paid that amount in April and May (this was for June's bill).
My SO says that since there are 3 people sharing the lines that it should be split 3 ways. I understand his point, I told him that. My point is it's NOT what we agreed on. I know that I can't afford to pay 2/3 of the phone bill. If I had thought he was going to make me pay that much I would have just gotten DD a prepaid and put like $20 a month on it.
So when I told him that I couldn't afford topay that much, and how I felt like I was being "ripped off" and taken advantage of, he went off on a tangent about me needing to learn how to save money.
I was like REALLY?!?! I don't have the freaking money to save. I don't ask him for a dime for my daughters. I take care of 100% of their needs by myself. I don't even get child support. When our son needs clothes, I'm usually the one to buy them. Sneakers? ME. The occasional treat for the children? YEAH, I PAY THAT!! School supplies, school uniforms, clothes??? ALL ME! And I do all this with the average of $300 a month I have left over after bills. WTH am I supposed to be saving? The occasional $2.50 I use to treat myself to a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee?!?!
He had the nerve to point out that HE is able to save money. I'm like yeah, that's pretty easy when you make 3x's more than I do and you have mommy, daddy, grandma, sister etc that send you money for everything. Oh, it's your birthday? Here's $500 from mom, $500 from dad, $200 from grandma, $50 from sister...OH, it's father's day, have $50 from each of your family members.
I don't get that. My family doesn't send me handouts. In my family we work for what we have...we don't just get that crap handed to us.
I mean, this whole thing started over me paying 2/3 of the cellphone bill. Now, we haven't even spoken since last night.
Am I being unreasonable or is he being unfair?