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Help..i got party crashers and not enough food.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Okay, i planned a small party of ten people. Really thats all i can afford. So i go food shoping. We pack up and come out to my mil. Well, dh nephew calls and tell mil he is coming and bring his new wife. No biggie..i could swing that. He then calls back an hour later saying he is bring four friends. I cant tell them to go home. We live in NC and they are coming in from KY, and they all already on the way.
Is it wrong that i said they need to pay for their own food?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:48 PM
Replies (131-132):
by Ruby Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:28 PM
Love love LOVE your response

Quoting Anonymous:

No, I don't think it's rude for an INVITED PERSON to bring a guest. Did you NOT see in the OP where A) this person was NOT invited in the first place, but called and asked to come and bring ONE person? and B) Once they got the okay to add TWO more, instead decided to come as a GROUP OF SIX?

I come from a very large family. One of 7 kids myself, I have three, most of my siblings have 4 or more kids. With holidays costing like they do we all pitch in. If the person doing the turkey bought a turkey big enough for us, and this HAS happened, 6 or 8 or 10 more people show up uninvited, and DON'T bring anything to contribute, how is that fair to us who have planned since August, usually, and saved to make a nice holiday happen? We belive in the more the merrier too but NOT everyone has a great home life or stellar friends and family. Sadly some of us have dysfunctional families and rude @$$ people who like to call themselves our friends. ONE example of this is a couple I don't associate with anymore, who would invite four or six people over on Friday for dinner and a movie, every time without fail serve ultra cheap hot dogs and canned beans, sliced white bread to put the hot dogs on, and say they couldn't afford anything more for entertaining. We started potlucking it, and me and the other friend who cooked would often bring stuff like homemade lasagna or steaks or ribs...then these people who could only afford hot dogs and beans would drop $75-$100 on wine or beer or liquor to go with the After two weeks of that my dh & I and this other couple stopped being available for Friday night get togethers.

Oh, and we tailgate too! LOVE tailgating, aren't stingy at all. Our typical budget for a tailgate weekend is $250-$300 we share with one and all. I have stuff in my freezer now for entertaining, and don't care if extra people show up out of the blue.

The point of my post was to support the OP. SHE is not rude or tacky for asking a  GROUP OF SIX unexpected people to chip in. Just because some people are on a tight budget does NOT mean they should sit at home as shut-ins and eat ramen noodles and mac n cheese!! They have every right to get together with friends, as well. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE ELSE THINK IT RUDE AND TACKY OF THE NEPHEW TO PULL A 'BAIT N SWITCH' ON THE GROUP? HEY CAN ME AND GF JOIN YOU? YEAH? GREAT!' Calls back when their arrival is imminent, "OH, BTW, THERES ACTUALLY SIX OF US! HAHA!"

<SMH> People condoning this behavior and bashing those of us who appreciate manners and consideration in others is WHY it will continue to happen...

Quoting Coconutty4Hubby:

WOW! Just WOW!!!  We have a football tailgating party every Sunday during football season.  We say the more people that show up, the merrier. We grill out, make sides and sometimes desert. If someone extra shows up, there's always something frozen in the freezer to thaw out and grill with the rest of the food.

Also, on Thanksgiving, you seriously think that way? Tell them to stop by the store and get some cold cuts or something?  We think the more the merrier. Yes, most people bring a side dish with them, green bean casserole, cheesecake or apple pie! A turkey is typically enough for 12 people plus leftover for everyone!  

You're a horrible person, have some couth. Seriously.  I would never be your friend if you thought this way and felt it was rude of someone to bring a guest with them.  

My dad and husband are in the military, you always bring a lonely soldier home with you to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, because they have no where else to go.  You just sound like an old shrew.

Quoting Anonymous:

All of you moms that are saying she's rude and tacky to make them pay, YOU are the WRONG ones.

I have had small get togethers with just a few family members before, or my friends that live up the road...and we'll plan on a certain menu, who's doing what part of it, etc, DAYS to WEEKS in advance...we live rural, like this woman might, and if SIX EXTRA people decided to crash the party and we had to go buy extras last minute, it would be a 25 mile drive to the nearest town to buy "$5 worth of food." Now, the last time this happened to us, we had steaks and burgers on the grill, steaks for us FOUR ADULTS and burgers for the SIX KIDS. Friends' 20-something yr old son shows up out of the blue with his gf, gf's son, and three friends. Out of the blue, NO WARNING, that was FIVE MORE ADULTS and one toddler, who doesn't eat much, but five adults, four of them very hearty eating men, known from personal experience? We didn't have more steaks in the freezer, we didn't have more hamburg, if one of us had to drive to the nearest store and get stuff to cook for them, one of our husbands would have been missing a day or two of work, guaranteed, because of gas money budgeting. And we offered to throw a couple pizzas we had in the freezer in the oven, that wasn't good enough, they wanted what everyone else was having...friend's son got so belligerent and started pushing his dad physically, cops were almost called, because SOME guests don't know how to be gracious and accept something different served to do YOU all know HER gate crashers wouldn't start shit if she put out a pot of spaghetti and salad for them, while everyone else is having, idk, barbecued chicken, or shrimp kabobs and corn on the cob?

If this were a holiday meal, like Thanksgiving or Christmas they invited themselves to spontaneously, would you tell her to throw on some spaghetti and welcome them whole heartedly, cuz I sure as shit wouldn't! I'd tell 'em to stop by an open Walmart on the way and buy themselves some Banquet turkey dinners.

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by Anonymous 10 on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:29 PM

Because she can. That's why she budgeted for the people she invited.....get it? crashes aren't in her budget because they AREN'T INVITED.  So why buy extras? .... Cause Lord forbid poor people have parties....smh.

Quoting ColieO:

If her budget is that strict, why is she having a party?

Quoting Tatiana7:

She has a strict budget but you all are condemning her for that? That's more rude than the "party crashes".

Don't worry about what they (the additional guests) will eat. They are adults and can get food for themselves if they are hungry.

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