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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Its rude to show up empty handed

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Where do you live and is it proper etiquette there to always bring something to a BBQ or dinner party? Here its rude to show up empty handed to bbqs, dinner parties, or even holiday dinners. The rule to follow is if its not the type of party you bring a gift (birthday, graduation, shower etc) then its customary to bring a bottle of wine, a dessert, fruit etc....

I'm on Long Island NY.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:10 AM
Replies (21-30):
Zacksmama82411
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:18 AM

I always ask and if they say "don't worry about it" I'll bring a bottle of wine, or some sort of platter, just out of respect... When I'm hosting, I am no longer shy about it (I used to say don't worry about it, until I had a party and everyone brought something, it was so much easier!) Now I only make the "main course" for cook outs, or parties, and people bring the sides, etc.

JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:21 AM

I too am in NY and was raised to bring something any time you go somewhere, typically a stop at the bakery for pastries. 


norahsmommy
by Platinum Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:21 AM
2 moms liked this
I always bring something. However if your guests don't bring something you shouldn't make them feel unwelcome. That's rude too.
anotherguatmom
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I always show up with something.  If I'm told not o bring anything then I will show up with flowers and a bottle of wine.  

boysrjoys2
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:22 AM
I think location has a lot to do with it. Its rude here to not bring a gift but my friend's mom told me that where she's from if you bring food you basically telling the hostess you don't trust her cooking. Its an insult. Its about different cultures. :)


Quoting Syphon: Yes of course it's rude.  It's rude anywhere to show up to a bbq/party empty handed.  Has nothing to do with location
RaniNY
by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:23 AM
I usually bring either flowers or something thy can save for another time if it doesn't. Fit into their menu or they have a lot of food. That would be wine, chocolate, or good cookies. Wine or chocolate can be offered to guests on another occasion, or given away, so I don't worry if they like it or not. I do try to make a point of knowing if theey drink or not, and err on the side of caution if I'm not sure. My mom once brought a lady a nice bottle of rum, and she hit the ceiling because she was religious and didn't drink. She was a coworker, and mom had no idea. Personally, I don't care if people bring something or not. I'm in Yonkers/The Bronx, NY
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:23 AM
No it's not rude not would I bring something if it is not a gift giving occasion. Not my job to provide for the hostess. If you brought wine here, I'd give it back to you as we don't drink it nor would we use/serve it. It's my job to provide the food and would have the menu planned do I don't want your dessert either.
krissy920
by Gold Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:23 AM

i would assume you always bring something, i always ask the host what i can bring, if they say nothingi pick up a little treat of some sort

itsm3
by Platinum Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:23 AM

yes it's rude; at least bring something for the host!

Syphon
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:23 AM

 Who said you have to bring food?  Bring flowers, wine, a small gift.  I even do that when I go to a play date at someones home.

Quoting boysrjoys2:

I think location has a lot to do with it. Its rude here to not bring a gift but my friend's mom told me that where she's from if you bring food you basically telling the hostess you don't trust her cooking. Its an insult. Its about culture.


Quoting Syphon:

 Yes of course it's rude.  It's rude anywhere to show up to a bbq/party empty handed.  Has nothing to do with location


 

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