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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Does your husband constantly disapoint you?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 36 Replies
Our kids are gone with family for the week. Dh is off for a long weekend. We always have a big party for the Fourth but decided not to this year. That didn't mean I didn't want to do anything, just that I didn't want to entertain 15-20 families since I had to work.

The problem is this, he knows that this is my favorite holiday, and guess what he is doing, sleeping on the couch. I would probably not think anything of it since I have to be up at four tomorrow morning for work, but our kids are gone! This is the first time in years we have had more than a couple of hours together alone and zip, nothing. It's been four days and he has not even mentioned of having a date night.

He forgot/ignored my birthday and Mother's Day. He didn't get me anything for Christmas or Valentines Day. And for our anniversary this year he kissed me on the head. I know we have been together a long time, but really?

Our relationship reminds me of the Home Improvement show, where their relationship was described as a worn out shoe. Someone actually commented on how well we get along for a divorced couple a few months back.

I don't think he is unfaithful. I know where he is 24/7. His routine is like clock work and other than when he is at work we are together with the kids. I just think somewhere we became more friends than anything else. Is/has anyone else gone through this? Am I just being ridiculous, or do you think I have reason to be upset? I don't want to nag him, but my feelings are a little hurt.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:16 PM

My husband has never disappointed me..

I'm sorry you are married to such an asshole. Seriously? Sleeping on the couch? Come on now.

Anonandon
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:17 PM

You say you don't want to nag him, but do you say anything when he drops the ball on remembering your birthday or special holidays? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:19 PM



Quoting Jessy613:

My husband has never disappointed me..

I'm sorry you are married to such an asshole. Seriously? Sleeping on the couch? Come on now.


kikibix
by Platinum Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:21 PM

Sometimes people need things spelled out for them.  Tell him what you want to have happen.  I certainly see why you feel dissappointed or hurt but I think in any long term relationship we all can be guilty of neglecting our spouse.  Maybe he's waiting for you to invite him on a date or assumes because of your work schedule you are unavailable?

ff-princess
by Platinum Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:21 PM

I think if you have spoken to him about this, and he knows it's an issue with your relationship, then you might be upset.  personally, if I knew ahead of time that we were going to have alone time, I would have started talking about it as soon as I knew so we could figure out together what we wanted to do, then nobody ends up disappointed.  they're not mind-readers, so if you haven't told him these things are bothering you then you need to.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Mine doesn't disappoint me, just like I always try not to disappoint him. What did you do for his birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, Annivesary?  When you mention having a date night what does he say? 

Punchyobuns
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:23 PM
2 moms liked this

From a young age, my dad always told me "take Dr. Phil's advice, lower your expectations." I'm satisfied to have a husband that makes sure me and the babies are fed. Anything else is expecting too much of him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:28 PM
No.
He really is a good man. I couldn't ask for better. He is a wonderful provider, he helps around the house, he is the best dad I know and I mean that! He is an awesome father. He works about 50 hours a week and volunteers another 20-30 hrs a week with the kids sports. I think we have just stopped making time for each other.
He knew I was hurt on Mothers Day. He tried to make up for it. I left for church- alone and when I got out there were flowers and cards with a gift card to get my nails done in my car. But I don't want to have to be upset, I just want him to do it. I didn't want a gift, btw. I wanted him and the kids to go to church with me and tell me 'Happy Mothers Day'


Quoting Anonandon:

You say you don't want to nag him, but do you say anything when he drops the ball on remembering your birthday or special holidays? 


abbysmommy429
by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:32 PM
6 moms liked this

That's just sad.

Quoting Punchyobuns:

From a young age, my dad always told me "take Dr. Phil's advice, lower your expectations." I'm satisfied to have a husband that makes sure me and the babies are fed. Anything else is expecting too much of him.


Anonandon
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:33 PM

 If you say nothing, nothing will ever change and you'll spend the rest of your marriage being hurt by him.  Start making time for each other and talk to him.  He's supposed to be the one person you can tell anything, don't be afraid to tell him you feel things have changed in a way that's not compatible with a happy marriage and life.

Quoting Anonymous:

No.
He really is a good man. I couldn't ask for better. He is a wonderful provider, he helps around the house, he is the best dad I know and I mean that! He is an awesome father. He works about 50 hours a week and volunteers another 20-30 hrs a week with the kids sports. I think we have just stopped making time for each other.
He knew I was hurt on Mothers Day. He tried to make up for it. I left for church- alone and when I got out there were flowers and cards with a gift card to get my nails done in my car. But I don't want to have to be upset, I just want him to do it. I didn't want a gift, btw. I wanted him and the kids to go to church with me and tell me 'Happy Mothers Day'


Quoting Anonandon:

You say you don't want to nag him, but do you say anything when he drops the ball on remembering your birthday or special holidays? 


 

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