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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Birds and the bees talk with a 9 y/o???? HELP!!!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

My DD and little sister stay home during the day while I am working during the day. (DD is 9, sis is 17) and every other Friday my SO is home for the weekend. Today was one of those Friday's.

Not to long ago, I found out that my DD was caught watching porn (online) at her dad's house and her grandma's house. I had a talk with her about how she is too young to be looking at material like that etc. and her internet usage has been severely restricted and heavily monitored.  So we know she's becoming curious about her body and about sex.

Well back to today. DD was laying on the couch after lunch, watching TV, covered with a blanket. SO walks in the living room and DD, evidently, removes her hand from between her legs and gets a scared/embarassed look on her face.

How the hell do i go about talking to her about it??? I never had any sort of birds and the bees talk from my mom. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell her that sort of behavior is only appropriate in the privacy of her room.

MammaPaparazza
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:49 PM
Just be open about it, kids appreciate it
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
pinkfairy0206
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:50 PM
So she was touching herself your saying?? I don't know if that would mean a talk about sex?? I haven't even talked to my almost 11 yr old about sex yet! I'm not ready,but I know its gotta be soon. She's going into middle school! Yikes!:(
theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:50 PM

Ask her if she has any questions and answer them openly and honestly. Better that she gets the right answers from you than getting the wrong answers from the kids at school.  Also, make sure she knows that masturbation is a perfectly natural part of life but should be restricted to her room where she can be alone.

In vain he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.

elitish
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this
You should have had this discussion years ago. But it's pretty simple: hey, we do that in private, when we are alone.

And done.
elitish
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:51 PM
1 mom liked this
What.


Quoting pinkfairy0206:

So she was touching herself your saying?? I don't know if that would mean a talk about sex?? I haven't even talked to my almost 11 yr old about sex yet! I'm not ready,but I know its gotta be soon. She's going into middle school! Yikes!:(

Arwyn724
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this

She really needs an open discussion about human sexuality, if she has already discovered the joys of masturbating.  Lot's of kids realize what touching themselves produces, but her introduction being based on porn needs a little intervention on your part.  Do not make her feel ashamed, but explain the appropriateness of privacy.

Arwyn 724 

piesmama09
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:54 PM

Ah puberty, good times! Half the 9yo's in my daughters grade got their periods this year too. I'm NOT ready for this!

MochaBerry24
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:55 PM

Tell her if she wants to touch herself and explore her body, that it needs to be done in the privacy of her room and no where else. 

lancet98
by Platinum Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:55 PM

First calm down.

If she hasn't done any of that til age 9, she's a little slow.  Maybe you didn't notice before.   There's this peculiar bias in our culture that little girls don't do that, and if they do, oh HORRORS, HOW ABNORMAL!

Tell her she has to do it in her room, not on the couch.   That's something you do in your own room.   And try not to act too horrified.   It's normal.

Kids normally do this at some point, really, just teach them their manners - in the room, door shut.  You don't take a dump in the middle of the living room, so don't do that there, either.

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