She wont leave the baby bunny nest alone on my side of the fence. Her chihuahuas had dug a hole big enough and found them, she, neighbor, pulled one out and snapped its neck, then realized it wasnt a shrew but a bunny. So, she killed one. Wouldnt leave them alone and her dogs kept diggin a hole. One pulled all of them out and my neighbor put them back under the fence. Showed her grandkids, kept pulling them out, then their were 3 babies left. Her dogs have been pestering the bunnies for the entire two weeks theyve grown. Well, one of her dogs got ahold of one through the hole and killed it. She, neighbor, tried to show me... picked up the dead bunny as Im looking crazy with pain. I just said I do not want to see a dead bunny!
I needed fresh air because Im in the beginning stages of labor and she wants to talk through the fence. Im on the patio or in my yard and she will NOT shut the fuck up. Ever. She doesnt work and chain smokes n eats all day with her fucking yappy chihuahuas. In or out... i hear these damned dogs day and night going bananas.
She has a bug zapper. Yes. A giant woahmygod bug zapper that stays on from 8pm until 8am and I can swear to you she believes shes killing the entire mosquito population. This bug zapper is about 15 feet from our patio. I cant talk on the phone, or have a conversation on my patio, during the evening ever because of this bug zapper. Its got such an ambien sound to it... Zap zzzzzap zzzip. Zzzzzzzz fryyyyyyyyyy....
Shes got her permed-haired boyfriend over tonight with his fucking 1980s mullet. I mean, why? Hes pushing 60 and wears a wife beater too. Nice fuckin glasses Mr! Don't try to talk to me too. Hes been over at her place since 3pm with his motherfucking lhasa maltese named Fluffy. Barkybark.
So, I explained to her I was in the HOSPITAL last night with labor that just wont progress. I apologize for not being social. She says "wow. Well get nesting have that baby." Oh ok. Fuck you. I go inside and order supper... she goes and gets her drink on. She told me she was planning on it! David Lee Roth and her were going to come home and get wasted!!!! She calls me after theyre home from Drink On & All you Can Eat crab legs to tell me SHES CAUGHT A BABY BUNNY NOW!!! WOOOOH.
No thanks. IM FUCKING IN LABOR AND NO MY SON WILL NOT HOLD A WILD BUNNY! BEEN THERE DONE THAT. Plus, I'm in labor? But i was nice again and said sorry.
I hear blender. Our walls are not thick.... bbbbbbbzzzzzzzz... Margaritas!!!!! Wooooooh. Im in the opposite end of the townhome.
DH gets home. Hes like wow, fuck, Im sorry we cant sell our house fast enough. Its about 9pm and we are sitting on our patio listening to the ambient sound of the bug zapper and fireworks. Fireworks are cool... all around us. Our son liked it. We made fun of our neighbor some... laughed it off.
My contractions start up pretty heavy by 10 so we come inside. Shes got her stereo on, playing ACDC and George Thorogood. Shes bad to the bone and back in black. I shower... that felt fucking good!
Stereo goes louder as the blender gets used more and more. Im tired but the bass on her 1975 stereo speaker (speaker, just one, ive seen it) is vibrating my home. I have a fan on... i get a snack... give her until 12am.... still Back In Black.
1am. Still, Bad To The Bone.
140am. Something dropped in her kitchen, maybe they broke the blender.
8am (future) Ill be up with my music on. METALLICA PERHAPS?