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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Not ready to be a mother

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

I have a 19 year old daughter and she is not ready to be a mother. She is 25 weeks pregnant so its too late for an abortion. She is a complete party girl, she goes to the clubs everyday with her friends. She tells me she doesn't drink at the clubs but I don't believe her at all. She has experimented with drugs when she was younger. The father of the baby is "just some guy" she doesn't know where he lives, his name or even age. I have talked with her about how she will raise the baby, where she said she expected that me and my DH to do that for her. I said no, but she has somehow convinced my DH to say yes. She lives at home currently and is not taking any form of education, she also doesn't have a job. And lastly, she is obsessed with herself. She puts on false eyelashes, nails, a bunch of make up and she spends hours doing her hair, every single day! I don't think shes ready to be a mother, and put the baby before herself...

What should I do?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LaughCryLive
by Ruby Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:32 AM
Shed be gone or going to school.
Rust.n.Gears
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Nothing you can do. She is an adult. If she messes up when the baby is actually here then you can get child services involved.

tiniowien
by Gold Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:33 AM

Honestly try adoption 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Encourage her to consider adoption or get ready to raise a baby!

I think those are your only real choices sadly.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:34 AM
take her to new Mexico and get her an abortion.
Racer15
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:36 AM

Kick her out if she won't consider adoption.  It's harsh but her child is not your responsibility.

wolfybaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:36 AM

if you dont want to raise the child [adopt it officially yourself to prevent drama], encourage her to adopt the baby out. 

otherwise, kick her into gear by forcing her to get her life in order and pray that she will grow up by the time the baby comes. i know the type of person you are talking about. there is a small change that she will put her child first. but i know too many who dont..its a bad situation. 

GingerZombie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:40 AM
Hope things get better for y'all. Things might change as the baby gets closer, she might "wake up" so to speak. Good vibes your way
vermontmoms
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:43 AM
Totally agree!

You need to look into adoption. Open-adoption is the route I would go...

I also say she needs to get a job and start paying rent if she is not going to go to school. I would not give her money! She needs to go to welfare office to get baby covered on insurance plan, if she plans on keeping it.

Unless you are planning on raising another kid and adopting it than you need to sit her down and have a big heart to heart. Tough love is probably the only thing that will work in this situation.


Quoting Anonymous:

Encourage her to consider adoption or get ready to raise a baby!



I think those are your only real choices sadly.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 6, 2013 at 4:53 AM
2 moms liked this

I say if she expects you and DH to raise it tell her ONLY if she signs all rights and everything over to you. That means she can't take the baby anywhere, do anything or have any say in how it's raised when she grows up and decides to be mommy. A lot of people who think mom and dad will just watch the baby until they're older and not so much trouble. I'd ask for full custody and legal guardianship of the baby. If she flakes out anyway you would need it in an emergency and you might get the baby under your own insurance that way.

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