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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

am i totaly wrong for not helping her? ETA

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 95 Replies

In the past my MIL has help DH and I out with babysitting so we could work  and loaned us money a couple of times(we paid her back).  She has gotten in over her head financialy. New fence and replaced the air conditioning in her house. She financed both. So her money is always tight.  This month she asked us to borrow money. We have it and very easily could help her. I don't want to because she is sitting there bitching about not having money but she still has cigarettes. Me and DH both quit for various reasons.  I told him why I dont want to loan her money he just said yeah i know but is still wanting to do it because that's his mom. 

     I just feel that if she can buy cigarettes she should be able to pay her bills. We have helped her out with groceries from time to time.  

Ok most of you think I'm wrong.  It's not just because she smokes that I don't want to loan her the money. It's because her money situation is not going to change. She is on a fixed income. She asked me for help with her budget. I sat down with her and every single suggestion I made she shot down, I suggested just going to internet only and cutting the cable. Told her I would let her use our netflix account.  Nope. I suggested downgrading her cell (she's not on a contract) nope. DH suggested smoking cheaper cigarettes. Nope. 

   I asked her when she would be able to pay us back and her response was I don't know. She already owes two of her other children money. She refuses to make any cuts anywhere at all. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
4kids4tara
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:25 PM
4 moms liked this

She helped you in the past but now you wont help her? That's not right. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:26 PM
2 moms liked this
Ask her what she needs and buy it for her.
i_lovedyoufirst
by Gabriella (: on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:26 PM
She doesn't want to because she feels mil isn't prioritizing right.

Quoting 4kids4tara:

She helped you in the past but now you wont help her? That's not right. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
zoegirlsmom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:27 PM

I would help her.

Linagma03
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:27 PM

She helped you. Whether she smokes or not you should help her. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Family is family. It really depends on how much and how often. 200? Probably this time. Every month, nope. Just remember, she will remember you not helping her out of a bind. Sounds like it was normal repairs that happen that's put her short.
angelachristine
by Platinum Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Yeah I'd say you are wrong. She helped you when she had it and now that she's in need you can't be bothered and just want to judge her life. I don't even smoke but if someone helped me and later needed help id help them out if I could smoker or not.
Pnukey
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:28 PM

Yes, you are.

MaliyahsMommy23
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:28 PM
I'm not a smoker but it is an addiction. Did she dictate the money she loaned you? I say help her.
Mrs_Nelson
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:29 PM
You should help. That's what families do.
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