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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I can't believe my dad is being so cruel to my mom

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 159 Replies

Long story as short as I can make it, my mom, who is 46 years old has early onset Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed 3 years ago when she was in the very beginning stages, at the time, my parents were together and happy. As she began to get worse, my father decided he shouldn't have to deal with it. His plan was to put her in a nursing home, divorce her and move on. Well I refused to let my mother be put in a home so now she lives with me, DH and our 3 kids. I take care of her though we are getting some services that do help a lot and my siblings, brother and sister and my brother's fiance' all help out as well. I now have power of attorney over her.

My dad didn't realize how long it takes to divorce someone in my mom's situation. So he has decided to just start dating. He has this woman living with him, of course neither me nor my sister or brother are thrilled with it and we rarely even speak to him.

Well my brother is getting married in October. Dad called me and explained that he wants to bring his "fiance'" so he felt it would be best if I don't bring mom. He felt that it would be uncomfortable for everyone at the wedding and since she most likely won't remember much of it later, he feels it should be her that stays home.  Also, she doesn't understand he has left her, he was military most of their marriage so him not being around isn't unusual and sometimes she will make comments about him coming home on such and such day. I told him that I will not leave her out of it and she will be in the pictures and they will help her remember. She is brother's mother and she has every right to be there.

I talked to my brother and his fiance' about it. I was pretty sure they would be on my side but I was prepared to fight for my mom if need be. I was right though and they agreed 100%. My brother called dad and told him that he is welcome to come but a wedding is no place for a concubine and that she is not welcome to come. All 3 siblings have agreed that the "concubine" as my brother now refers to her, will never be welcome at any family gatherings that we host and we won't go to any hosted by my dad or his side of the family if she goes.

My dad's mother called up me and my brother and sister to try to talk us into being ok with it. She said that he deserves to be happy and this woman makes him happy and it's not really cheating on my mom since she isn't "with it" as she said. I told her off. I said "well my mom deserves for him to stick to his marriage vows, in sickness and in health, after she stuck to hers for 27 years" and then I hung up.

It is just so hurtful to see what an ass my father is. I am only glad that my mother doesn't realize it.


Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:35 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:35 PM

BUMP!

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:37 PM
2 moms liked this
No offense, but your dad is an ass.
Mrs-Somerhalder
by Blake on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:37 PM
Wow. I'm sorry.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lauriemom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:37 PM

I am sorry.

I agree with you all 100%. I hope your mother is doing well and wish her all the best. 

Alliemad_3
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:38 PM
3 moms liked this
Your poor mom :(

Stick to it. That's disgusting of your father.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:39 PM

I agree


Quoting bustybee:

No offense, but your dad is an ass.



JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow, you have a lot on your plate. 

I can totally see all sides of this and I hope you are able to have some sort of relationship with your dad at some point. He was wrong to request that your mom not be there for her son's wedding, it's an insult more to your brother than anyone else, in my opinion.  But, I sympathize with your dad in some aspects of this, he was put in a situation that many people have a hard time coping/dealing with and he made some mistakes along the way but he is human.

Mudfishzgirl
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:41 PM
That's some crap. He's being an immature jackass only concerned about himself. I'm glad all your siblings are sticking together on this. I'm so mad on your mom's behalf. What a jerk.
metalmomma86
by Silver Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 6:41 PM
I am so sorry that your dad is a selfish P.O.S.

I'm glad that your brother and his fiance want your mom there. You are a good daughter for taking care of her.
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