Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

im moving across the country away from my husband

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies

my husband and i have one kid. hes 12 years old. i havent seen my husband except once in 10 years. he left when our son was 2. yes our son is his and he knows this. hes never paid ANY child support.

i cant find him now to file for divorce and cant afford the fees they want to track him down.

im moving across country (from MO to CA) and am not asking him for permission or telling him, because obivously i cant. 

once we get settled in CA if he finds out can he make us move back here since we are married? or because we've been separated for 10 years he will just have to give me a divorce if i can find him?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 7, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 7, 2013 at 8:59 AM

why havent you filed for no fault divorce?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 7, 2013 at 8:59 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

why havent you filed for no fault divorce?

i have no idea how to do that, and have been broke. im moving for a job opportunity. i could never afford it on my own.

every lawyer ive talked to said because we have a kid together he has to be involved and we have to have a parenting plan etc

armywife009
by Platinum Member on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:02 AM

No, he can't make you come back, but I think he can fight for y'alls son (which I doubt he'll try, since it's been ten years). You really need to speak with legal aide about this. Best of luck to you and I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:03 AM

then contact legal aid for help....if you can't find him, you cant' make a parenting plan, but that shouldn't prevent you from living your life, and providing for your son.   The fact that HE is gone and has been for ten years, will not grant him custody, or unsupervised visits or anything..if will make him look like a failure as a parent to any judge, and you can file termination of parental rights, since he's been gone so long without contact or support. 


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

why havent you filed for no fault divorce?

i have no idea how to do that, and have been broke. im moving for a job opportunity. i could never afford it on my own.

every lawyer ive talked to said because we have a kid together he has to be involved and we have to have a parenting plan etc



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:03 AM


Quoting armywife009:

No, he can't make you come back, but I think he can fight for y'alls son (which I doubt he'll try, since it's been ten years). You really need to speak with legal aide about this. Best of luck to you and I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

legal aide has no funds for "this type of issue". ive tried getting their help every year for 10 years. i was injured a while back and wasnt able to work.. no workmans comp and i didnt sue the company.. im better now and going to havea good job now hopefully but i didnt want him to be able to mess anything up. :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:04 AM

legal aid cant/wont help :( and i agree it has prevented me for far too long so im finally going for it and moving to CA for this job

Quoting Anonymous:

then contact legal aid for help....if you can't find him, you cant' make a parenting plan, but that shouldn't prevent you from living your life, and providing for your son.   The fact that HE is gone and has been for ten years, will not grant him custody, or unsupervised visits or anything..if will make him look like a failure as a parent to any judge, and you can file termination of parental rights, since he's been gone so long without contact or support. 


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

why havent you filed for no fault divorce?

i have no idea how to do that, and have been broke. im moving for a job opportunity. i could never afford it on my own.

every lawyer ive talked to said because we have a kid together he has to be involved and we have to have a parenting plan etc




evelynolivesmom
by Silver Member on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this

 How would he know you moved?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:06 AM

maybe in cali they will...cali has all sorts of things other states don't have


Quoting Anonymous:

legal aid cant/wont help :( and i agree it has prevented me for far too long so im finally going for it and moving to CA for this job

Quoting Anonymous:

then contact legal aid for help....if you can't find him, you cant' make a parenting plan, but that shouldn't prevent you from living your life, and providing for your son.   The fact that HE is gone and has been for ten years, will not grant him custody, or unsupervised visits or anything..if will make him look like a failure as a parent to any judge, and you can file termination of parental rights, since he's been gone so long without contact or support. 


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

why havent you filed for no fault divorce?

i have no idea how to do that, and have been broke. im moving for a job opportunity. i could never afford it on my own.

every lawyer ive talked to said because we have a kid together he has to be involved and we have to have a parenting plan etc






armywife009
by Platinum Member on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:06 AM

:( I hate this for you.

I would just go, he's been gone for ten years and he's probably not going to try and meddle now. If you have a good opportunity, take it. If something happens, deal with it then. For now, just do what you need to do.

I really hope you can get some answers so you can breathe a little.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting armywife009:

No, he can't make you come back, but I think he can fight for y'alls son (which I doubt he'll try, since it's been ten years). You really need to speak with legal aide about this. Best of luck to you and I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

legal aide has no funds for "this type of issue". ive tried getting their help every year for 10 years. i was injured a while back and wasnt able to work.. no workmans comp and i didnt sue the company.. im better now and going to havea good job now hopefully but i didnt want him to be able to mess anything up. :(


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:07 AM


Quoting evelynolivesmom:

 How would he know you moved?

. it wouldnt be hard for him to find out if he wanted to. friends of friends, family, etc. any time i ask about him im told he couch surfs and never keeps a phone for very long so hes hard to track down.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured