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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Tommy's In The Garage, wtf? hes dead

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Last year my bil passed away. He was an alcoholic who couldnt hold a job and became a transient. When he passed , my dh & I decided to make sure his children had a proper goodbye to their father.

So we got the family together , we all pitched in some money and I put together a  memorial service at my church for my bil, well for his kids. His body was donated to science. His body would be cremated , and sent to the family.

Yesterday my mil calls my dh ( he hasnt talked to her in a yr). Well as shes babbling , she says the words  "Oh and Tommy's still in the garage" My dh is all  WHAT??

Apparently because there wasnt enough money collected and I didnt take care of it for them, they have not seen fit to bury the man or find a place for his ashes. So he was stuffed in the back of my sil's ( my dh's sister) garage a yr ago and is still there.

WTF? Who does that?  My dh's stupid family does I guess.





Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 7, 2013 at 9:00 AM
Replies (41-50):
TheDoctorsWife
by on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:06 AM
They may not feel comfortable bringing them in the house. Is he a veteran?
o.0
by Silver Member on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:07 AM
My son's ashes are in our living room. In an urn, of course. He will be buried with me when I die. Unless we pointed it out, you would never know his urn is where it is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I agree

Quoting morning_glories:

 OMG. I can see if she wanted to keep the ashes...but in the garage. What in the world. I understand that the man was not the best person in the world, but everyone deserves the respect due to any living creature. Would she keep her dead cat in the garage? I have heard it all now.


celestegood
by Ruby Member on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:07 AM
My grandfather died fourteen years ago and his wife still hasn't buried his ashes either.
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deputygirls28
by Gold Member on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:07 AM
That's horrible. Atleast you guys were generous enough to do that much. I know that alcoholics can (and usually do) destroy their family life but many don't realize what they are doing. I hope one day your MIL will atleast bring him in. How old are the kids? Do they realize what your MIL did with him?


Quoting Anonymous:

 mil's words when she found he passed were "So what do you want me to do about it". Thats why dh & I took it upon ourselves to make sure bil kids had a way to say goodbye and we planned memorial service.

Quoting deputygirls28:

That's a shame. My sisters urn is still upstairs next to her picture. My parents bought a cemetary marker and had it made and everything but no one wants to bury the urn, we want it where if my parents move or, if god forbid, something happens to my parents, she can be moved. The garage is a sad place for him to be kept. And to not care about the location of the urn is sad (for your mil not to really care I mean)



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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:09 AM

No has was just a alcoholic transient. No its not the uncomfortable part, they just dont care about him , or they would have helped him when he was alive and living in a tent in the woods for 2 yrs.

Quoting TheDoctorsWife:

They may not feel comfortable bringing them in the house. Is he a veteran?


brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:09 AM

so sad. Im having my ashes put in a planter with a tree. then my family can plant the tree somewhere nice. 

Photo: -Randi.

TheDoctorsWife
by on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Damn. I only asked that because if he was then he could be interred in a veterans cemetery for free. Or if he was married and she was a vet he could be placed in one.

That's a sad life he had. Maybe you can hold onto the cremains until you're able to do something with them.


Quoting Anonymous:

No has was just a alcoholic transient. No its not the uncomfortable part, they just dont care about him , or they would have helped him when he was alive and living in a tent in the woods for 2 yrs.

Quoting TheDoctorsWife:

They may not feel comfortable bringing them in the house. Is he a veteran?


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:13 AM

Oh mil didnt do anything with him, she just told us, that sil has him in the garage. kids are 21, 18, & 16. They talk a lot about dad this, the 2 older ones got memorial tattoos for the 1 yr anniversary , but its okay he's in a box in sil ( their aunts) garage. he wasnt actually in the kids lives and nobody really gives a damn unless it somehow benefits them.

Quoting deputygirls28:

That's horrible. Atleast you guys were generous enough to do that much. I know that alcoholics can (and usually do) destroy their family life but many don't realize what they are doing. I hope one day your MIL will atleast bring him in. How old are the kids? Do they realize what your MIL did with him?


Quoting Anonymous:

 mil's words when she found he passed were "So what do you want me to do about it". Thats why dh & I took it upon ourselves to make sure bil kids had a way to say goodbye and we planned memorial service.

Quoting deputygirls28:

That's a shame. My sisters urn is still upstairs next to her picture. My parents bought a cemetary marker and had it made and everything but no one wants to bury the urn, we want it where if my parents move or, if god forbid, something happens to my parents, she can be moved. The garage is a sad place for him to be kept. And to not care about the location of the urn is sad (for your mil not to really care I mean)




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 7, 2013 at 10:13 AM
DH still has some of his dad's ashes in an urn. But they're in the house and they had a service and buried the rest of his ashes.
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