I just got approved for food stamps and I'm not quite sure about the rules.When I get my food stamps in the morning, do I refer to non food stamp users as "master" or "your highness?" Do I bow and avert my eyes?
I know I'm supposed to wear my best rags (because I sold all of my decent clothes) and wear no jewelry (even cheap costume). My cheap brown Walmart purse looks too nice for a food stamp user, but honestly nobody wanted to buy it, so I'm stuck using it. My son has new shoes, but they were the cheapest I could find at Walmart and his feet are so big Goodwill didn't have any that fit him.
Now, am I not allowed to have anything that would make my food flavorful? No sugar, salt, or spices, right? Nothing with any kind of fat or artificial food coloring. Just rice, beans, potatoes, vegetables and cheap cuts of meat. If there are cheap steaks or shell fish on sale I know I'm not allowed to buy them. No candy, soda, or chips at all.
We are walking to the store because I sold our car for the $100 it was worth. Am I allowed to bring the kids' wagon, or should I sell that, too?
If anyone asks me to, I must willingly pee in any receptacle provided for drug testing. I also must loudly announce to everyone that I am using public assistance so that I can let everyone in the store look at me with scorn.
Are there any that I am missing? Like I said, I'm new to this.