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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

She sought out a "not very attractive" guy to marry EDIT

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:30 PM
  • 146 Replies

Yep. My coworker intentionally sought out a guy who wasn't extremely attractive. She admits she never dated very attractive men even if they were very nice guys. Why? She intended to marry a man that she'd never have to feel like other women were looking at. It was her "insurance" that she wouldn't have to feel intimidated.

Now, here's my question. How would you feel if you found out your dh married you because you weren't very attractive so he wouldn't have to feel intimidated?

(Me personally, I think my dh is extremely handsome and there are ladies who check him out and occasionally flirt with him, but it doesn't bother me. It's a compliment, IMO, because I got such a desirable guy...and he's brilliant, hard working, and hilarious too! I think you should marry whoever makes you happy and they will be sexy to you whether they are to anyone else or not.)

Tiny Edit: She also says that she has no guilt about being a bit bossy to him or about not paying much attention to her own attractiveness because she did some digging into his dating history and discovered she is the least bossy woman he'd dated and also the thinnest (apparently he's always dated fat, bossy ladies. LOL). That was another reason she chose him. Being equally attractive wouldn't require any effort and her bossy nature would seem mild compared to his exes.

by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

i get it a little bit...

i mean, most gorgeous men are quite obnoxious...

handsome, w/ a master-degree, successful men when I was dating thought they needed to find gwyneth paltrow in her 20s. I wasn't fat but I wasn't gwyneth paltrow either.

 

I found a good Christian man, hard-working, w/ a master-degree and successful job. But yeah, there was a reason he was humble (enough lol) and available. Dh was and is a little (maybe more than a little) chunky. I wasn't fat. In fact when he met me I was at my thinnest which was still "healthy" (128lbs, 5'1") and he had gone through some hard stuff in life...

Hence the last requisite on my list - humble. 

caterpilar
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:41 PM
2 moms liked this
That would make me so sad! Obviously not everyone is going to think I'm attractive but I want my SO to think I'm hot. I wouldn't date someone that I wasn't attracted to.
garnet83
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 Well, I know in a lot of relationship, the physical attraction is what starts everything. The personalities and compatibility are the deal makers/breakers. Just seems like unattractiveness is strange criteria to look for. Hehe


Quoting Anonymous:

i get it a little bit...

i mean, most gorgeous men are quite obnoxious...

handsome, w/ a master-degree, successful men when I was dating thought they needed to find gwyneth paltrow in her 20s. I wasn't fat but I wasn't gwyneth paltrow either.

 

I found a good Christian man, hard-working, w/ a master-degree and successful job. But yeah, there was a reason he was humble (enough lol) and available. Dh was and is a little (maybe more than a little) chunky. I wasn't fat. In fact when he met me I was at my thinnest which was still "healthy" (128lbs, 5'1") and he had gone through some hard stuff in life...

Hence the last requisite on my list - humble. 


 

garnet83
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this

 That's how I feel. I think dh is smokin' and he makes me feel like a million bucks. I think that's how it should be.


Quoting caterpilar:

That would make me so sad! Obviously not everyone is going to think I'm attractive but I want my SO to think I'm hot. I wouldn't date someone that I wasn't attracted to.


 

JDmommyJD
by the sauce is boss on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Weird. Physical attraction is a must. Keeping that flame going, is what keeps relationships fun, and desirable after all those years.
Of course other areas are a must too..but attraction is how we feel before a word is spoken, or a deed done.
Pnukey
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:52 PM

I wouldn't care. I honestly never ask DH if he thinks I'm pretty. I'm sure he married me for my wit and charm.

milkmama36
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:53 PM

Ugly is as ugly does ladies!

caterpilar
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:53 PM
Awwww! I think that is wonderful and like you said, exactly as it should be.

Quoting garnet83:

 That's how I feel. I think dh is smokin' and he makes me feel like a million bucks. I think that's how it should be.




Quoting caterpilar:

That would make me so sad! Obviously not everyone is going to think I'm attractive but I want my SO to think I'm hot. I wouldn't date someone that I wasn't attracted to.



 

svolkov
by Emerald Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Yep this. I think my dh is super hot....even if someone else doesnt I think its very important that I Do


Quoting JDmommyJD:

Weird. Physical attraction is a must. Keeping that flame going, is what keeps relationships fun, and desirable after all those years.

Of course other areas are a must too..but attraction is how we feel before a word is spoken, or a deed done.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:55 PM

she has AWFUL SELF ESTEEM!!!!!!

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