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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is this reasonable????? (Names have been taken out for privacy)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 241 Replies

I didn't agree to pay half of the co-pays or out of pocket medical expenses. His insurance is provided by the government and doesn't cost him anything, so I don't think it's unreasonable for him to have to cover co-pays and such. Whereas we already pay for an insurance policy for her, and have decided not to drop her off of our policy just in case he doesn't cover her after he gets out of the military, I think it's fair that he covers out of pocket expenses and co-pays, as long as he is providing Tri-Care. In the event that he is not providing Tri-Care for her, I think paying for half of her existing premiums on our policy and half of co-pays and out of pocket expenses is sufficient.  

In paragraph 14, I would like the words 'at Petitioner's sole discretion' included, simply because I foresee him being difficult if any of her competitions fall during his parenting time, according to the relocation guidelines. Since she will be doing virtual school, the school times in the guidelines will not apply to her, and she would be able to do school at his house once she starts visiting him. She will have more flexibility than the guidelines provide. I want the ability to stray from the relocation guidelines and make alternative arrangements if I feel it's needed because of her competitions or anything else she may have going on, without being subject to being held in contempt. 

Is there any language that we can put in there that says the reunification process will be considered invalid unless his wife fully cooperates and participates? I know we can't technically order her to do anything, but is there a way to word that? 

I would like it added that he has to maintain a minimum of 90% of his virtual time with her in order to be able to exercise any of his physical parenting time.

Can we add first right of refusal provisions for when he has her during his parenting time? If at any time he gets deployed or has to be away from home for more than xxx amount of days during his visitation, she is to be returned to me. Also, something saying that she is to NEVER be in the care of anyone other than him or his wife, without my permission? 

I would like to be notified if they plan to take her over 150 miles away from their town, and be required to provide written permission. In the event that they go to Texas to visit their family, they agree to make arrangements for her maternal grandparents in the same town to spend reasonable time with her while they are there, as well, at their home (She would be absolutely devastated if she was in that town and couldn't see her grandparents). They also agree to not allow XXXXXX to have any contact with her, whatsoever. <<<That's my mother.

As far as conduct provisions go:

1) I would also like it added that, during the times he has her for parenting time, she is to be able to have unlimited/unrestricted access to her cell phone, and be allowed to call her family at her own discretion, as well as take calls. Her cell phone may not ever be taken away for any reason. If it somehow gets damaged during his parenting time, he is to provide her an alternate cell phone for the duration of her visit. 

2) I would like it added that physical punishment of any form inflicted on her, by himself or any member of his family, is grounds for his visitation rights to be immediately terminated. Withholding of food will never be used as punishment, either.

3) I would also like standard alienation provisions added. The standard, "Neither party is to speak badly about the other parent to or around the child, yadda yadda." 

4) She should be provided her own bed at his home, and never be 'required' to sleep on the floor, couch or with any other person. 

5) She is not to attend any church service or religious activity, period, while in his care. 

6) In the case of a medical emergency, I am to be notified immediately, within reason. Any and all medical decisions (other than initial emergency or life saving measures) will be made by me, and they are under no circumstances to give her any sort of vaccinations.

7) If swimming while in his care, she will be required to wear a life jacket and be supervised at all times. She can not swim.

8)  If she is visiting them during the school year, they must commit 5 hours every weekday for her to do her school work, both online and off. If she is taking summer courses, that applies for summertime, too. Because I am her education coach, I must be informed every day of her hours spent, progress and other pertinent information so I can record them in her virtual classroom. 
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:45 PM

Oh, I have sole physical and legal custody. 

JulyBabies
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:47 PM
14 moms liked this

Unless there is something wrong with me today, it's like I entered a conversation already in progress. He, she...don't know who/what  you are talking about 

ButterMeUp
by Butters on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:47 PM
3 moms liked this
Damn, that's wordier than a mother fucker!

Care to sum it up for me it two paragraphs or less?
ecerka
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank God it wasn't just me.

Quoting JulyBabies:

Unless there is something wrong with me today, it's like I entered a conversation already in progress. He, she...don't know who/what  you are talking about 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:49 PM
It's an email to my attorney about things I would like added to our custody agreement.

'She' is the kid, 'he' is her dad and 'they' are her dad & sm

Quoting JulyBabies:Unless there is something wrong with me today, it's like I entered a conversation already in progress. He, she...don't know who/what  you are talking about 
NoSammich4You
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:50 PM
7 moms liked this
Does he have ANY say regarding parental decisions? Sheesh.

I do t know the whole situation but this seems overboard.
rgba
by Ruby Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:50 PM
1 mom liked this
If you have sole custody I don't see why not. However, you should put her in swimming lessons asap!
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DaiTilley
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:51 PM
6 moms liked this
I understand that you're seeing this as purely a legal issue, but what's the point of even having visitation if you aren't going to let him be a parent in any way? He can't try to teach her to swim? She can't ever go to a church? And you're going to dictate how he disciplines her while she's in HIS care?
Sorry, but you need to loosen the apron strings a bit.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:52 PM
No, he doesn't. He has never met her.


Quoting NoSammich4You:

Does he have ANY say regarding parental decisions? Sheesh.



I do t know the whole situation but this seems overboard.

NoSammich4You
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:54 PM
Oh. Well then I can see why you're being overly cautious. Did he know she existed, or just decide not to be part of her life?



Quoting Anonymous:

No, he doesn't. He has never met her.




Quoting NoSammich4You:

Does he have ANY say regarding parental decisions? Sheesh.





I do t know the whole situation but this seems overboard.

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