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UPDATE: UPDATE !!!!!!My husband will not let me circumsize my son.....we are really having it out over this

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post


UPDATE: We went to pedi and I did some research and we both decided that it would not be done. Why? Well, Not because so many people on here were rude (by the way thanks to those who had cosntructive views and understood my issues) but because he does feel strongly about it and he does understand the Penis more than I do plus my pedi said that either way is okay and that there is really no reason to do it if you do not want to. All I wanted was to be heard and for this to be a both parent decision and for us to make this decision together since we made this child together. So its not happening and i am okay with that. But we were both heard.


My husband and I are about to have out first son in 3 weeks. We have 2 dd so it has never came up. He is Australian and his excuse for it is that he wasnt and none of his brothers were and neither was his dad. He also said that it was not done in his country or by his family so I should respect his wishes because it is his son.  Well, its my son too and we live in the United States and it is done on a regular bases here. I am sorry but I just feel it would be unsanitary for us not to circumsize him. I also do not think its fair he has made this decision and i have to live with it and his whole argument is it is his son. I am thinking about just having them do it while he is gone. I mean he will not be with me at the hospital 24/7 and once its gone....well oh well, he cant glue it back on. I really honestly would not do that but it serves him right if I did.


Let me reinstate the main  reason I am upset is he acts like I have no say what so ever. My husband is not unsanitary bit its a lot harder to keep clean and he even admits that.


EDIT: Wow I guess i was wrong to think anyone on here would understand that it is just a bit hurtful that he thinks I have no say so what so ever it what is done to my son and thats why i would be upset.  Just so you know I would not do it behind his back and even stated I would not in my post.

UPDATE: MY husband and I talked it through he did not realize my main problem was how he would not even talk about it. We are going to meet with our pedi today and talk about it.  I doubt we will do it but at least we will talk it through. that is what i wanted.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:16 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:35 PM

Thank you, someone who gets it.


Quoting Jamie1972:

Both of my sons are circumcised. But even i know that the rates of circing has gone down alot in the usa. So there goes part of your argument. As far as sanitary reasons you can still keep it clean sheesh. Ask your dh how he does it. But what the real problem is his lack of taking your feelings into consideration. You both need to sit diwn after you both do research on why ds shoukd be circed or not. and hopefully you both will come to an agreement. But the hes my son is the weakest argument for staying intact.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:35 PM
My husband has skin bridges from his circumcision. They trap debris and cause infection. We left our son intact because of this.

Please don't circumcise your son behind your husband's back. That would be a serious trust violation. How would you feel if your husband took one of your daughters for elective cosmetic surgery that you were vehemently against? Would you ever get over that breach of trust? I wouldn't.
Aslen
by Ruby Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this

You said in the OP that you thought it was unsanitary.... so if you think it's unsanitary, why are you with an intact man? And if your husband isn't unsanitary, why do you think your son will be? You're not taking your husband's feelings, or your son's feelings, into consideration are you?


Quoting Anonymous:


I answered you. I dont think my husband is unsanitary. I just do not think its fair that the only point for not doing it is because he said so and its his son. Is that fair?

Quoting Aslen:

OP, come on.... several of us have asked, yet you don't answer. If your husband is so unsanitary, why are you having sex with him?!


Quoting Anonymous:


Yeah you were right. I guess I was wrong to think that anyone would understand the main point that the fact he does not want to give me any say so is kind of hurtful and thats the main issue. I would not actually do that behind his back and even stated it in my post.

Quoting Sassy762:

I personally had my boys circumcised

SOOOO I guess it is your decision since you are the one that has carried the child for 40 weeks and will go through labor and delivery. Good Luck with whatever decision you make

This post will probably blow up and not be a pretty sight in a few hours, lol









Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it should be a decision shared by both parents.

Perle1
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this
My advice to families in regards to circumcision is to consider the risks and consider the culture of the family. In my own family, my ex was intact and therefore our son is intact. Care of an uncircumcised penis is not complicated. My son is 17 now, and I recently asked him how he felt about his lack of circumcision. He said he's glad he is unmutilated. His words, not mine :) I was worried that since he must surely be thinking about having sex, is he self conscious about his foreskin. I see a lot of negative comments on line sometimes about it being gross from some young women. We didn't have a long, in depth conversation about it, but it seems my concerns were unfounded. He is apparently fine with his intact penis. I think it's an unnecessary procedure. Just let it go and let this kid look like his dad.
ElizabethGracie
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I would let your dh decide...he's the one who has the penis.

CafeMom Tickers
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:37 PM

I would not do it behind his back. regardless of what people might think it was more of he upset me enough that I thought about it but love him enough not to actually do it.


Quoting Anonymous:

My husband has skin bridges from his circumcision. They trap debris and cause infection. We left our son intact because of this.

Please don't circumcise your son behind your husband's back. That would be a serious trust violation. How would you feel if your husband took one of your daughters for elective cosmetic surgery that you were vehemently against? Would you ever get over that breach of trust? I wouldn't.



Fields456
by Ruby Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:37 PM

I left that decision up to my dh because he is the one with a penis and I didn't have a strong preference either way.      

I think y'all need to figure it out together . You are both his parents and should both make the decision together. 

And good luck if you just do it I'm sure that will cause some marital problems 

Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:37 PM

I did not consult my oldest's father when I had him.  I just had it done the day he was born.  Simple as that.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:38 PM

I think you should have a say, i think you are right.. It's much harder to keep it clean and higher risk of getting an infection. I've had family members who have had to do the circumcizion later in life because they've gotten an infection and a friend who had too because it was so painful for him he couldn't walk. I agree with your decision, 

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