My relatives refuse to accommodate my toddler.

Edit: I just noticed that this is a top post and they have a photo of a baby hand grabbing a beer bottle on the link. Two thoughts: awesome and where did they get this photo??? lol

Over the long 4th of July weekend I vacationed with some relatives (not at their house, it was a rental property). It was great seeing them, but I was ready to strangle everyone over how little they accomodated by toddler. I have a 24 month old (blah blah blah, there's a lot of maturing that happens between 2-3 the number of months is relevant) and wasn't going to bring her but they insisted that they hadn't seen her yet and were dying to see her so I caved. She's very spirited and adorable, but it's a lot of work to take care of a child that age under normal circumstances, even more when the place you're staying isn't baby proofed and the people you're staying with leave all their crap around.

I mean, you'd think they had never met a toddler before, and most of these people have kids! Like for instance, they'd leave their expensive electronics all over the place. Like, I would find a laptop sitting on a coffee table with  a big glass of soda next to it. Really? You expected this to end well? She grabbed someone's camera and erased a couple pictures. All weekend with the electronics. I'd put them up on the mantle and say "I put your phone up so she wouldn't damage it" and then an hour later, they'd leave it out again. And I know these people would expect me to pay to replace it if was damaged.

Or they'd leave a half eaten plate of spaghetti sitting on the table. Then I spent 20 minutes scrubbing marinara out of the carpet. Or they'd leave their purse sitting open with their medicines in it. I wrestled several pill bottles away from her. Someone gave her a pen and paper at one point and then I had to try to get all the pen marks off  her clothes and the table. People left beer cans and wine glasses and wine bottles everywhere. She drinks every drink she comes across!!! Thanks guys, I wanted my 2 year old to spend the weekend drunk. And the wine glasses are a risky thing anyway because they break super easy. 

I would put her to bed and say "Okay, everyone has to either go outside or keep their voices low for like 20 minutes so she can fall asleep, then you can talk as loud as you want". It would last about 2 minutes before the volume was where it was before (which was very loud. They just kept screaming about politics). At one point, my aunt went and got her back up and said "She wasn't tired!" And I wanted to scream "She was tired!!! You guys won't keep your goddam voices down!!!"

I realize not all this is super obvious to people who either had low maintenence kids themselves (apparently they exist...) or have never had kids, but after I've hinted for you to keep your stuff out of arms reach it just seems rude to not do it. I'm doing the best I can but toddlers a lot of work! Help me out a bit!

Am I being ridiculous for being annoyed at this stuff?

Some of the more hilarious sentiments in this thread:

"Your child doesn't know not to drink out of beer bottles???"

(...really? This is a lesson people teach their babies? You have beer bottles around your babies enough for them to learn what a beer bottle looks like??? Eek!)

"The terrible twos don't exist. My kids never went through the terrible twos. It's all in the parenting"

(Bahahahaha. I'd say that a sanctimommy entry...)

"If I say not to touch things my son doesn't touch them" and then the same poster, like ten minutes later says:

"He does get into things and test limits (he's two after all!), but I use it as a teaching moment"

(lol, so what is it? Is he perfect or does he get into things and you're still teaching him not to???)

[Indiemom880]

Quote:

Our first child was born developmentally disabled, and my husband's parents never showed much interest in him. 

Aw...that's incredibly sad. :-( 

Did they show much interest in the other kids?

They came in one day to find him sleeping in his crib; I was vacuming just outside his room (door open), and the dogs were play-fighting right by his bed.  They reamed me out thouroughly for all the noise as he was "trying to sleep" - at which time I pointed out that he WAS sleeping!  Our ped had always said that our lives shouldn't stop when we become parents, and I'm glad that I listened.  As he grew older, HIS life went aling with OURS, and I have never regretted it.

Of course, there were no beer bottles or wineglasses left out for him to drimk out of, and I would hope that those "friends" would have had enough forethought to realize that, but they didn't.  Therefore - I would have packed up and gone home - after a FULL explanation (to ALL) why I was leaving......

Really, we don't stop our lives for sleep here. My kid is sleeping now and the tv is on, we're talking normally, etc. But omg, these people were being crazy loud! And the doors are not the kid that block out sound. There was like a two inch gap at the bottom. I don't know anyone who can fall asleep to people shouting!

Honestly I wish I could've left, but we flew and it would've cost a fortune to change the flights. And my aunt is in failing health, she wanted to see them. And my mom would've never let me forget it. It's not always practical and that's family! :-)

[Ilaynasmommy]

Its your place to teach that. At 23 or 24 mos she's old enough to understand. I had a friend whose son at 1 or 2 would pull out all of my books. Instead of teaching him no his mom would pile them on top of the entertainment system. Drove me crazy. Sounds to me you are afraid to discipline your toddler. 2s were nothing compared to 3s lol.

Eta as far as the beer bottles. Id have said something. We went to my moms and eceryone was drinking beer and wine with my dd and other toddlers there. Dh walked around pouring any out left sitting.

[MysticIceWater]

And I bet your the one always left holding everyones belongings while watching your kids? I dont think its misguided foolishness, I feel that a grown adult does not need a keeper for their belongings.

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

It was wrong of me to attribute your foolishness to your age. 

You will undoubtably be just as irresponsible and misguided when you're 52.

Quoting MysticIceWater:

explains what? Why I shouldnt have to babysit other peoples belongings, and they need to accept some responsablity for their stuff. Its my job to keep an eye on my kid, not be the adults keepers. yes I would keep my kids away from their belongings but they should know, since the OP said most of them have kids, that keeping phones laptops and other electronics in reach of a child is never a good idea. And I know that first hand. Its a mothers job to keep an eye on her kids, not babysit adults.

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

that explains it

Quoting MysticIceWater:

22 why?

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

How old are you?

Quoting MysticIceWater:

after the 3rd time of asking I would have left their fancy stuff where they left it. If my kid breaks it, thats on them. Since I asked 3 times to please keep their stuff up.

[Indiemom880]

Hahahaha, love it! She expected an 8 month old to listed to the word no? Classic.

Quoting Anonymous:

Huh, sounds like my MIL's house, and she's watched my nephews since they were born at least one day a week (that's 5 years and counting with at least one kiddo in the house). still hasn't moved her precious tchatchies to where they can't be reached. she had the gall to tell her own son that he should be able to tell his then 8 month old daughter that she shouldn't touch something and it would be done. Lady (I'm talking to my MIL here, not you, OP, you were nowhere near out of line), I can't tell my 4 year old daughter that with great results yet, they're children, they are curious, YOU are the one that should be aware of what might be an issue, all kids are different and just because my 5yo Nephew didn't play with outlets at perfect height for a toddler doesn't mean my daughter won't. Oh grrr grrr grrr. You don't have to make the place a padded room, but seriously, if you LOVE something that shouldn't have little hands on it, DO NOT PUT IT WHERE LITTLE HANDS CAN GET IT! seriously, common sense here, even for people who don't have kids. just ridiculous that adults would act that way. And in regards to the noise, seriously, my MIL grew up raising her boys in a house full of unncessary loud noises. banging cabinets, humming, clanging dishes, when the bedrooms are right by the kitchen. She doesn't know how to be quiet, it's SO frustrating! so no, you're not being ridiculous, hope if you decide to do a similar vacation again, either you can get your own rental nearby or they will have figured out that your child has needs that they must accommodate. 

[Shelly126]

Quoting Anonymous:

It never ceases to amaze me that the women on here all had PERFECTLY obedient children from day 1.  I would have been irritated and I believe rightfully so.  I don't expect people to move everything out of the reach of my children.  I also don't expect you to leave booze and pills all over the place when you know there is a child around.  Don't invite my child to an event and then act like she is an inconvenience.  It is hard work chasing after a 2 year old all of the time and I should not have to be constantly stopping her from touching something that should not be out in the first place.  Put your crap away.

i totally agree, and what I find funny, the sanctimommies that have the perfectly obidient 2yr olds can't read a post properly! She wasn't invited to someone's house, it was a long weekend @ a rental house and the pp wasn't going to bring the child but the family wanted to see her!
I'm not saying anyone has to tip toe around the kid but how insensitive to just leave half eaten food and drinks all around! I'm sure most people even of they don't have kids can pick up thier glasses and dishes! And how hard is it to just keep your voice down for 20 minutes untill the child falls asleep! Sounds like the extended family was a bit rude, a little consideration on all parts makes for a nice family weekend not just expecting parents to run after a toddler so the adults can have no consideration.
The mother admitted she was running around taking things away from the kid, in a new environment and around people she either hasn't seen in a while or ever @ all of course she is going to be all excited and want to touch and explore! Anyone who says differently is being ridiculous themselves!

[Indiemom880]

I really have no doubts that she will get there and my discipline methods are fine. My first child was perfectly behaved by 3 and she went through this same phase too. Children really do vary in how they not only behave, but when they have the self-control to do this kind of thing.

It's really surprising to me that everyone is saying that 3 was a tough age for them. I've never heard that (and certainly never experienced it).

Quoting Ilaynasmommy:

Its your place to teach that. At 23 or 24 mos she's old enough to understand. I had a friend whose son at 1 or 2 would pull out all of my books. Instead of teaching him no his mom would pile them on top of the entertainment system. Drove me crazy. Sounds to me you are afraid to discipline your toddler. 2s were nothing compared to 3s lol.

[Anonymous]

If someone does not watch there items and its damaged its not your problem. If you moved in many times to be nice and meet them half way they could have done the same. Expecting a child to act as an adult is ridiculous. My child has impulse control issues (I can tell him do not touch all the time but he can not mental control himself at times). A child's attention span is only so long. There sleep needs are different Han a grown up. If the adults wanted the child there they need to watch out for her needs.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya! Been there done that! Sorry Momma !

[Suzy_Sunshine]

No adult or child needs someone to mind their belongings around my child. That is absurd.

Quoting MysticIceWater:

And I bet your the one always left holding everyones belongings while watching your kids? I dont think its misguided foolishness, I feel that a grown adult does not need a keeper for their belongings.

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

It was wrong of me to attribute your foolishness to your age. 

You will undoubtably be just as irresponsible and misguided when you're 52.

Quoting MysticIceWater:

explains what? Why I shouldnt have to babysit other peoples belongings, and they need to accept some responsablity for their stuff. Its my job to keep an eye on my kid, not be the adults keepers. yes I would keep my kids away from their belongings but they should know, since the OP said most of them have kids, that keeping phones laptops and other electronics in reach of a child is never a good idea. And I know that first hand. Its a mothers job to keep an eye on her kids, not babysit adults.

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

that explains it

Quoting MysticIceWater:

22 why?

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

How old are you?

Quoting MysticIceWater:

after the 3rd time of asking I would have left their fancy stuff where they left it. If my kid breaks it, thats on them. Since I asked 3 times to please keep their stuff up.

[ReachtotheStars]

my child has never seen a beer bottle, but also would never drink from anything if there was an adult around watching without asking first.  

Note my youngest is 26 months and would for sure try it if I wasn't looking.  

My son knows what he isn't supposed to touch and is cunning about when he will touch them.  

I think that if someone invites you over knowing you have a toddler they should be somewhat accommodating.  

For example pills bottles, beer, glass, expensive electronics.