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My relatives refuse to accommodate my toddler.

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Edit: I just noticed that this is a top post and they have a photo of a baby hand grabbing a beer bottle on the link. Two thoughts: awesome and where did they get this photo??? lol

Over the long 4th of July weekend I vacationed with some relatives (not at their house, it was a rental property). It was great seeing them, but I was ready to strangle everyone over how little they accomodated by toddler. I have a 24 month old (blah blah blah, there's a lot of maturing that happens between 2-3 the number of months is relevant) and wasn't going to bring her but they insisted that they hadn't seen her yet and were dying to see her so I caved. She's very spirited and adorable, but it's a lot of work to take care of a child that age under normal circumstances, even more when the place you're staying isn't baby proofed and the people you're staying with leave all their crap around.

I mean, you'd think they had never met a toddler before, and most of these people have kids! Like for instance, they'd leave their expensive electronics all over the place. Like, I would find a laptop sitting on a coffee table with  a big glass of soda next to it. Really? You expected this to end well? She grabbed someone's camera and erased a couple pictures. All weekend with the electronics. I'd put them up on the mantle and say "I put your phone up so she wouldn't damage it" and then an hour later, they'd leave it out again. And I know these people would expect me to pay to replace it if was damaged.

Or they'd leave a half eaten plate of spaghetti sitting on the table. Then I spent 20 minutes scrubbing marinara out of the carpet. Or they'd leave their purse sitting open with their medicines in it. I wrestled several pill bottles away from her. Someone gave her a pen and paper at one point and then I had to try to get all the pen marks off  her clothes and the table. People left beer cans and wine glasses and wine bottles everywhere. She drinks every drink she comes across!!! Thanks guys, I wanted my 2 year old to spend the weekend drunk. And the wine glasses are a risky thing anyway because they break super easy. 

I would put her to bed and say "Okay, everyone has to either go outside or keep their voices low for like 20 minutes so she can fall asleep, then you can talk as loud as you want". It would last about 2 minutes before the volume was where it was before (which was very loud. They just kept screaming about politics). At one point, my aunt went and got her back up and said "She wasn't tired!" And I wanted to scream "She was tired!!! You guys won't keep your goddam voices down!!!"

I realize not all this is super obvious to people who either had low maintenence kids themselves (apparently they exist...) or have never had kids, but after I've hinted for you to keep your stuff out of arms reach it just seems rude to not do it. I'm doing the best I can but toddlers a lot of work! Help me out a bit!

Am I being ridiculous for being annoyed at this stuff?

Some of the more hilarious sentiments in this thread:

"Your child doesn't know not to drink out of beer bottles???"

(...really? This is a lesson people teach their babies? You have beer bottles around your babies enough for them to learn what a beer bottle looks like??? Eek!)

"The terrible twos don't exist. My kids never went through the terrible twos. It's all in the parenting"

(Bahahahaha. I'd say that a sanctimommy entry...)

"If I say not to touch things my son doesn't touch them" and then the same poster, like ten minutes later says:

"He does get into things and test limits (he's two after all!), but I use it as a teaching moment"

(lol, so what is it? Is he perfect or does he get into things and you're still teaching him not to???)

by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Replies (611-620):
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:34 PM

Not all mothers are blessed with perfect toddlers. I happen to have a toddler that wants to see how everything works, he wants to look inside things, and see what makes them work and tick. So leaving a cell phone or laptop where he can reach it is never a good idea. he is 19 months old and is interested in everything. Not all parents are as blessed as you. You can redirect all day long, even smack hands, and do time outs, but if the adult isnt going to be responsble enough to keep their expensive items up out of sight, than my toddler will find them, and will try to play with it, and see how it works. The saying out of sight out of mind goes into play here.

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

No adult or child needs someone to mind their belongings around my child. That is absurd.

Quoting MysticIceWater:

And I bet your the one always left holding everyones belongings while watching your kids? I dont think its misguided foolishness, I feel that a grown adult does not need a keeper for their belongings.
Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

It was wrong of me to attribute your foolishness to your age. 

You will undoubtably be just as irresponsible and misguided when you're 52.

Quoting MysticIceWater:

explains what? Why I shouldnt have to babysit other peoples belongings, and they need to accept some responsablity for their stuff. Its my job to keep an eye on my kid, not be the adults keepers. yes I would keep my kids away from their belongings but they should know, since the OP said most of them have kids, that keeping phones laptops and other electronics in reach of a child is never a good idea. And I know that first hand. Its a mothers job to keep an eye on her kids, not babysit adults.

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

that explains it

Quoting MysticIceWater:

22 why?

Quoting Suzy_Sunshine:

How old are you?

Quoting MysticIceWater:

after the 3rd time of asking I would have left their fancy stuff where they left it. If my kid breaks it, thats on them. Since I asked 3 times to please keep their stuff up.

by Anonymous 95 on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:37 PM
From 18 months to 3 years, my dd was into everything, but by 3 years old she was very well behaved. Now my cousins sons were the exact opposite, perfect angels until they turned 3 and now they're terrors, lol!

Quoting Indiemom880:

I really have no doubts that she will get there and my discipline methods are fine. My first child was perfectly behaved by 3 and she went through this same phase too. Children really do vary in how they not only behave, but when they have the self-control to do this kind of thing.

It's really surprising to me that everyone is saying that 3 was a tough age for them. I've never heard that (and certainly never experienced it).

Quoting Ilaynasmommy:

Its your place to teach that. At 23 or 24 mos she's old enough to understand. I had a friend whose son at 1 or 2 would pull out all of my books. Instead of teaching him no his mom would pile them on top of the entertainment system. Drove me crazy. Sounds to me you are afraid to discipline your toddler. 2s were nothing compared to 3s lol.

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:38 PM
1 mom liked this
My daughter figured out how to climb out of a pack and play well before age 2, so it wouldn't of helped. It was irresponsible of your relatives to leave stuff hanging around that they didnt wantto be used as toys. Teaching your baby to not touch everything is a great and very necessary lesson, but it sounds like it was an overwhelming experience for you. Definatly not a relaxing vacation for you. I hope next time you travel, it's better.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why didn't u just bring a playpen? Easy and safe

by Silver Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:38 PM
Been there dear! I agree that the world should not change to accommodate me or my child but I do know how frustrating it can be. I don't think u did anything wrong... but neither did they (except the alcohol thing... that should be common sense to keep that out of reach of little hands! At the very least, after the first time it happened they should have figured it out!)
by Anonymous 96 on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:39 PM

Why don't you keep an eye on your child?  News flash:  You're the parent.  No one has to accomodate your toddler.  She's your kid.  Not theirs.  

Teach your child boundaries.  Teach them not to touch anything that isn't theirs! 

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I am with you....they should have come curtousy of the toddler as they are the ones that insisted she come along.  I would have prob been so red that I would have screamed at all of them, leave, and then not speak to them for a time.  I just don't get how some people are just so disrespectful of all people around them.  Me as an adult would be the one to pour the soda on the laptop.  Or the spagetti on the carpet.  But with the drinks I would have let them know to not leave them in reach.  I guess I am just lucky that my friends and family are respectful of my daughter in not wanting to her to get hurt or damage any of their items. And toddlers are alot of work. There is no rest for the werry. 

by Anonymous 97 on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:41 PM

I'm sorry, but I'm dying laughing here. My teen was, ahem, active like your dd at that age. He also apparently suffered from a common toddler disease where his eyes were on his fingers, so he had to touch everything he "saw." Sigh. I was so much thinner when I chased him around all day. So, I feel your pain.

if it were me, I'd move on and count it as a learning experience. It probably would have been better to meet everyone on a different weekend or in a more calm and less "woo-hoo it's a party weekend" atmosphere. 

by Anonymous 98 on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I can't believe these moms who say they have taught their 2 year olds successfully not to touch things. At that age it is still a major work in progress! I had 5 babies all in 5 years so I didn't travel much, but when I did it was challenging. I am not a big advocate od playpens and chose to baby proof throroughly and let my kids be safe in their environment rather than confined. My children are now 11, 10, 8, 7, and 6 and have very good manners but are also still spirited and inquisitive- all are excellent students, very involved in activities, and have their own unique personalities. While I wouldn't expect my relatives to adapt to my child I would be
diligent in watching after my toddler in unusual surroundings.
by Bronze Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:50 PM

 lol liquid and electronics still dont mix and my 2 oldest are 8. other than that, sorry for the crap weekend you had

by Anonymous 99 on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:52 PM
I have children and I would have left them with grandma because I know how it would end up so next time don't be a push over. If they want to see her bad enough they should make a special visit to see her and spend time with her
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