Her: what do you take it for?
Me: anxiety and depression.
Her: (laughs) you have depression?
Me: yes, I've been on different meds for it, this one only helps with anxiety though, not my depression.
Her: depression isn't real.
Me: yes it is...
Her: yea right, I get depressed. I just snap out of it. Its easy.
Me: you can't just snap out of depression.
Her: yea you can! Its not real!
Seriously? You think I WANT to be depressed? You think I WANT to think about suicide? She doesn't understand that everyday is a struggle for me. Everyday I wish to not be here. Everyday I WANT to forget.
I wish I could 'snap out of it '. I really do. But I can't. I wish I could force myself to stop feeling like I'm nothing. Stop feeling like this world is some never ending dream. I actually do tell myself to snap out of it, but of course you can not flip a switch on depression.
Do I use my depression as an excuse? No. i take everyday at a time. I ddon't look forward to tmr. But I live through it. I push myself to live another day. I push myself to forget. I push my feelings and pain down and put a smile on.
Idk, I'm venting. She just made me feel like shit more though.