So done. And feel so trapped. (Found a painkiller on the floor) UPDATE.
Granted, it wasn't in an area she crawls in and us usually fated off from but it fell out of dh pocket obviously. It could have easily fallen out anywhere
He rolls joints in the main living areas of the house (smokes outside) and I have told him numerous times not to because the window blows it all over the place. I've picked up two empty weed bags off the ground. I'm worried about stems falling on the ground too.
He puts cigarettes butts in his pocket when he works and the fall out when he takes his pants off. I've literally removed a cigarette butt from dds mouth after it had went through the wash.
I've told Jim numerous times if she swallows this there is enough nicotine in here to KILL her. The Vicodin probably too. I deginetly don't want to find out.
I constantly tell him DO NOT smoke in MY car. Dd rides in there and I don't want it smelling of smoke or ashes everywhere. It's ducking disgusting. I leave blankets in there just in case. He always says he won't and then does it again.
And he has the nerve to tell me I nag too much? We're not talking about leaving a toilet seat up were talking about the health and safety of our daughter.
I feel like he has the maturity of a 16 year old. Wtf is wrong with him?
I'm so annoyed and I can't fucking trust him. And I'm trapped because he is the income provider. I'm not uneducated or unqualified, I could find a job I just don't know if I could handle it all financially.
Here's a copy paste of the txt I sent him last night. He hung up on me at first then txt me he fucked up and knows it was wrong. Here's my response... (C is our dd)
"I know you know it was wrong. That's not my concern, my concern is time and time again you do it anyway knowing its wrong. I can't keep up with it. And I feel like I can't even let C on the ground at all. If the would have rolled at all, or fell out a foot or less over, C would be fighting for her life right now.
You continue to jeopardize C safety, and my security with you for your own desires.
It is to the point that this is no longer a safe place for C. Don't twist what I'm saying. Really think about it.
If you and I were divorced and a boyfriend or husband of mine did what you did, you would not feel confident in her safety in that environment. It's no different with you.
I have now found her with a weed bag, close to a Vicodin and with her cigarette butt in her mouth from your pocket. Two if which could have killed her.
That is what I'm thinking right now. And god damn it if something ever did happen it would be just as much my fault for not doing anything about it."
He said again that he fucked up and it's a big deal.
I replied stating I'm tired of this run around I don't have energy to keep up with the lies. And it's the same conversation over and over. He didn't reply and came home 15 min later. I pretended to be asleep because I just didn't want to deal with it.
This morning the half Vicodin I found that I put up was gone. I was going to throw it away but I thought he would argue and say I was lying, so I wanted to show him. I just checked now so I could finally toss it and its gone.
He replied exactly how I thought. First slammed me for thinking I wanted it for myself. Yes, in the past I have taken a half a Vicodin but it is so rare and usually because he pressured me. Misery loves company and he knows if I take one I can't but h at him for taking them.
Then said he worked 14 hrs and deserved it basically. And said, don't bother me at work.