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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I seperated from him then he moved

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 25 Replies
I left my hubby after 19 yrs. together just last month, we didn't get along anymore cause he did things to destroy my trust in him. Well I was going back and forth from my moms place and back home...but only to see the kids and help out. Well last week my hubby moved out into an apartment. We rented a home but he didn't want to be there anymore and I couldn't afford it. So anyways now I'm staying at my cousins house and the kids are with their dad due to my cousin has a 1 room apt. So I can't have my kids here....what do I do now?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momofhnd
by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:27 AM
4 moms liked this
Get a job and a place of your own ?
Ilove907
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:28 AM
Um, get a job if you don't already have one.
Get your own place and move your kids in.

Unless you want to work things out with your husband, then do that.
Bleacher-mom
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:29 AM
1 mom liked this

Work hard to get your own place

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:27 PM
I have a job but not enough money coming in to rent yet...I got stuck with paying for a new car we bought last year...I also have insurance and phone bill...gotta pay the old bills he left behind. I just will bide my time until end of summer to maybe get another job after school starts cause I wanna see my kids until they go to school. Thanks I've gotta get my life together...I can't be back with him, its over.


Quoting momofhnd:

Get a job and a place of your own ?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:31 PM
By the way how can I play nice so I can get past him and my issues with him??? I don't wanna be angry and worry to death... my 1st separation and I'd like to rise above this.
MezzoDragon
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this
The way I play nice is to basically treat them in the same polite way you would a stranger, and keep interactions short and to the point. This has become a business relationship in the management of raising healthy well adjusted children. You can't hold grudges and be vindictive. If it isn't a genuine inconvience be obliging and accomidating. But at the same time you stand up for what you want. You don't get into fights and you barely have an argument. If he raises his voice and gets upset, I freeze and wait, and if he doesn't catch himself the conversation is done. I am not the kind of person who hangs up on a person when I'm upset, so I only had to do it once. and now he doesn't yell without apologizing a few seconds later. This man is a bipolar addict who abused me in every way except physically for years. I was completely cowed and controlled. I spent my life protecting, enabling, and cleaning up his messes. And I stayed with him, until he started hitting me in front of the kids. So I firmly believe that everyone has the ability to behave like an adult and control their emotions for 10 minutes at a time. If I've managed not to stab my X in the throat, you can too.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:08 PM

Shouldn't have movd out.  Now you need a job and a place of your own.  Time to pull up the big girl panties.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:51 PM
Well I had to move on cause he'd been doing crazy stuff for 2 yrs. and he finally got his butt into major trouble and I he still thinks he's above the law. But of course it was my fault like it is now....he's the one acting immature and not in his 40's...I'd had enough. But since he's got a disability check and all he has money to do what he wants without pissing off an employer. I have on my big girl panties that's why I left the man....I have to live for me and take care of my kids...not be a drunk and selfish loser...that's why after 20 yrs.we have nothing. I'll do like my mother and come out stronger and better cause at least I don't have issues with getting put in jail and being like him...nothing.


Quoting Anonymous:

Shouldn't have movd out.  Now you need a job and a place of your own.  Time to pull up the big girl panties.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:55 PM
True I can move on and do better all by myself...if it wasn't for me all these years of helping him out..he'd been dead a long time ago..from being a drunk...he almost died last Dec. after a drunken binge. Its been a hell of a year plus 19....thanks for understanding.


Quoting MezzoDragon:

The way I play nice is to basically treat them in the same polite way you would a stranger, and keep interactions short and to the point. This has become a business relationship in the management of raising healthy well adjusted children. You can't hold grudges and be vindictive. If it isn't a genuine inconvience be obliging and accomidating. But at the same time you stand up for what you want. You don't get into fights and you barely have an argument. If he raises his voice and gets upset, I freeze and wait, and if he doesn't catch himself the conversation is done. I am not the kind of person who hangs up on a person when I'm upset, so I only had to do it once. and now he doesn't yell without apologizing a few seconds later.

This man is a bipolar addict who abused me in every way except physically for years. I was completely cowed and controlled. I spent my life protecting, enabling, and cleaning up his messes. And I stayed with him, until he started hitting me in front of the kids. So I firmly believe that everyone has the ability to behave like an adult and control their emotions for 10 minutes at a time. If I've managed not to stab my X in the throat, you can too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:31 PM

You abandoned your children though.

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I had to move on cause he'd been doing crazy stuff for 2 yrs. and he finally got his butt into major trouble and I he still thinks he's above the law. But of course it was my fault like it is now....he's the one acting immature and not in his 40's...I'd had enough. But since he's got a disability check and all he has money to do what he wants without pissing off an employer. I have on my big girl panties that's why I left the man....I have to live for me and take care of my kids...not be a drunk and selfish loser...that's why after 20 yrs.we have nothing. I'll do like my mother and come out stronger and better cause at least I don't have issues with getting put in jail and being like him...nothing.


Quoting Anonymous:

Shouldn't have movd out.  Now you need a job and a place of your own.  Time to pull up the big girl panties.



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