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I didn't realize my vow renewal ceremony with my husband was about her

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:12 AM
  • 126 Replies

Next year will be mine and my husbands 10 year anniversary. We are currently stationed (air force) in Guam. 

Well, I sent out a heads up to immediate family that we are planning a vow renewal ceremony next year and will be in Hawaii. I know that my husbands family won't have any issues with travel arrangements or places to stay as his family own condos in Hawaii and Hickam AFB has lodging. My dad, step mom, brother, and my dads half of the family won't have issues with travel plans. My mom and sister will have the hardest time getting there. As my mom is terrible with money (some of you might remember the snafu I dealt with when she came to visit)! 

I already told my mom ill try to help pay for her ticket and she can stay in base lodging. 


Well, grrrrr this is where I'm trying to not let my temper go. 

She sent me a Facebook message and this is what it says: "Jen I was thinking maybe it would be less expensive and easier for everyone to  do the 10th wedding vows in Alaska.  More people would be able to attend without much expense and there would be more places options to stay.

I would loveto  see Alaska, maybe for the last time and my old friend G*.  I could stay with L (my sister) and the girls and there is the base housing or other family for those others coming.  You could plan to have the renual of ows in the church where you were baptized  for immediate family only with a reception following after for all others.  It would give Richard an opportunity to network on the base there to insure that the next tour of duty would be in Anchorage. "

Hawaii is about 5-8 hours fly time from Guam. Alaska is much much more. My husbands family wouldn't have anywhere to stay up there except base lodging. 


This is supposed to be our vow renewal. We've been through cancer and all sorts of hell. I'm just, frustrated with my mother.


by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Snakecharm
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Can your family stay with his family in the condos?
NiCo86
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:15 AM
7 moms liked this
as an Alaskan, born and raised ...

I say go to Hawaii! lol its about YOU not her, and you've already offered to help. be firm in your decision, and express your desire to have her there, and reiterate that you want to help with the expense.

good luck Mama!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:16 AM
3 moms liked this
Tell her that your vow renewal will go on as planned and that you hope she can make it. Don't feed in to her behaviour.
AVSpecWife4
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:17 AM


Quoting Snakecharm:

Can your family stay with his family in the condos?

My dad and brother have enough money to go to a nice hotel. I told my mom that she's married to a vet. She can stay in base lodging on Hickam AFB, which is where we'll be having the ceremony at. My sister can be sponsored by my husband and also stay in base lodging for $55 a night

xomrs.chase
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:18 AM
This

Quoting Anonymous:

Tell her that your vow renewal will go on as planned and that you hope she can make it. Don't feed in to her behaviour.
AVSpecWife4
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:19 AM


Quoting NiCo86:

as an Alaskan, born and raised ...

I say go to Hawaii! lol its about YOU not her, and you've already offered to help. be firm in your decision, and express your desire to have her there, and reiterate that you want to help with the expense.

good luck Mama!

I'm a born and raised Alaskan as well. I love my home state, but tickets to Alaska from Guam are $2,000 per person. We have 4 kids and getting to Alaska from Guam? Yeah noooo way! Hawaii is a 5 hour jump from Guam! 


Ive told her that well be having it in Hawaii , but she's getting pissy. Urrrrrgh!!

imafuswb
by ★Rainbow Brite★ on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:20 AM
This. You KNOW how important that vow renewal is after the things you've been through. Don't let her make it about you and don't let her get you down about it. We're considering one next year for our 10th as well. Stay strong for yourself and your marriage. :)

ETA: Whoops! I meant, don't let her make it about HER. Lol...


Quoting Anonymous:

Tell her that your vow renewal will go on as planned and that you hope she can make it. Don't feed in to her behaviour.
IamMex11
by JorgematoTM on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:20 AM
1 mom liked this

she doesn't have to be there

NiCo86
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:22 AM
know it might sound cold

but that sounds like its her problem, not yours! just keep doing what you're doing and try to no let her sap your excitement!


Quoting AVSpecWife4:


Quoting NiCo86:

as an Alaskan, born and raised ...



I say go to Hawaii! lol its about YOU not her, and you've already offered to help. be firm in your decision, and express your desire to have her there, and reiterate that you want to help with the expense.



good luck Mama!

I'm a born and raised Alaskan as well. I love my home state, but tickets to Alaska from Guam are $2,000 per person. We have 4 kids and getting to Alaska from Guam? Yeah noooo way! Hawaii is a 5 hour jump from Guam! 


Ive told her that well be having it in Hawaii , but she's getting pissy. Urrrrrgh!!

AVSpecWife4
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 6:22 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Tell her that your vow renewal will go on as planned and that you hope she can make it. Don't feed in to her behaviour.

This is what I said to her:  


Blue is me. Kyle is my oldest son. 

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