Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

SO dropped one on me today UPDATE page 5

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 133 Replies

He has 3 adult children and we have a 17 month old together. He told me today he does not want more children because "he has enough". I want at least one more. I am devastated. I at least wanted a daughter. I feel like I am grieving for a child that never existed. For what could have been. It's not fair because he knows how I feel and he does not want more because he has kids with his ex.

To make things worse, in my state I can't get a doctor to give me a hysterectomy or tie my tubes because I have only had one child. He told me he will not get fixed. I am nowhere near menopause.

So I feel like I have to live with the possibility of it knowing he does not want it instead of him just getting rid of the possibility and letting me grieve and move on with my life.

I think it is selfish and am having a hard time trying to talk him into it.

Honestly, we use the pull out method (technical term?). What are the chances seriously that I won't get pregnant in 10, 15 years? (in 15 years he will be 58.)

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:48 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
QuirkyMom26
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:50 PM
5 moms liked this

Sounds like he's done his time with children and he just wants some ' him ' time.  I think it would be more selfish of YOU to push the subject especially since he's given you a child and already has 3 of his own with someone else. AND, if he's really done having kids, using the POM is pretty dumb. 

lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:52 PM
4 moms liked this

 I would tell him the only way to be 100% sure you dont get pregnant is to Abstain from having sex.

mom2ljh
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:52 PM
2 moms liked this
Slim. The chances of not getting pregnant simply by pulling out, long term, are very very slim.
tifbrown
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:53 PM
5 moms liked this

... He is how old and thinks the pull out method is effective? 

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:54 PM
8 moms liked this

 If he's done, then he needs to get himself taken care of....

jamamama00
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:54 PM
3 moms liked this
If he won't get snipped then it will be his fault when you get knocked up. You can't just get a hysterectomy by the way. That is not birth control lol
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I understand why you would be upset at not being able to not have one more, but it also wouldn't be fair to him.  However, if he's that sure he's done HE needs to get fixed or accept the consequences.

.Brighter.Days.
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:56 PM
This happened in my marriage was part of the reason why it ended.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:56 PM
so shes the selfish one yah thats fair. what if said all alin he wants 2-3more then whos selfish, what if he knew she wanted more than one? id say discuss more...maybe in 5yrs hed be ready.

Quoting QuirkyMom26:

Sounds like he's done his time with children and he just wants some ' him ' time.  I think it would be more selfish of YOU to push the subject especially since he's given you a child and already has 3 of his own with someone else. AND, if he's really done having kids, using the POM is pretty dumb. 

QuirkyMom26
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:57 PM
1 mom liked this

He's already pushing into his 50's in the next 5 years. The man is done.  

Quoting Anonymous:

so shes the selfish one yah thats fair. what if said all alin he wants 2-3more then whos selfish, what if he knew she wanted more than one? id say discuss more...maybe in 5yrs hed be ready.

Quoting QuirkyMom26:

Sounds like he's done his time with children and he just wants some ' him ' time.  I think it would be more selfish of YOU to push the subject especially since he's given you a child and already has 3 of his own with someone else. AND, if he's really done having kids, using the POM is pretty dumb. 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured