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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

You want me to go where? Gah Im disgusting! =/ *Updated*

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:30 AM
  • 131 Replies
Before having my DD I weighed 114 lbs. I am 4'11 and that was like the perfect weight. The day I went to the hospital in labor i weighed 166. I figured once I had LO that I would lose a good bit of it. I planned to breast feed but my daughter was sick and had to have a certain kind of formula. Today at 10 weeks and 3 days PP I am 148. I havent lost anymore since having her.  Im covered in stretch marks. Belly, hips, thighs, and all down the back of my legs to my ankles. How i even gained that much weight while pregnant still puzzles me since i had morning sickness the whole 9 months!
Anyway. My DF made plans for us to go to a water park with a bunch of his friends. At the beginning of the week I told him i didnt want to go because of the way I looked and i just wouldnt feel comfortable. I have never met any of these friends because theyre people he doesnt see often. So as the week went pass I started feeling better about it. We went and got me a new bathing suit but he insisted it be a two piece. Then today he walks in the bathroom and weighs himself before we make breakfast and is like "Oh wow Ive gained weight" I just laughed and was like whatever but the he said "No really i weighed 108 before now im 111." 
At this point I told him I wasnt hungry and walked out of the kitchen. I sobbed in the shower for 30 minutes. I feel so disgusting. I dont want to go. Tomorrow is going to suck so bad. I hate myself so much right now. We dont live together and my daughter is such a handful wth everything thats been going on I dont have time to myself. When DF is around we want to spend time together and do things as a family. I didnt eat anything until late tonight because the thought of eating anything made me want to vomit. I struggled with being anorexic in middle school and freshman year. I just want to starve myself but i know ill never be beautiful again.
None of his friends have kids and like all mine do so i just dont feel like they will understand and think im just a bitch. Btw screw all of you who say stretch marks are your "tiger strips" "trophies" blah blah blah Thats such BS. No one is going to look at me and say "Oh wow look at all her stretch marks, she looks great with all that flab, go her!" No. They're thinking why is that hot ass guy with that disgustingly fat cick?!

*UPDATE* So ended up I decided to wear the two piece but I hadnt tried it on before and it didn't even fit. So I felt like crap that I had gotten a large and couldn't even fit that. I had another two piece that my sister had gave me so I wore that instead because the old one piece I had was too small. Well my sisters old swim suit was big and hung off me the whole time. I was uncomfortable and kept having small anxiety attacks. But finally it got to the point where I was just like fuck it and had fun.
I felt kinda left out since I didn't know anyone but DF but by the end of the day I felt a bit more included.

ALSO as a commenter pointed out. Everyone is attracted to different people and if your going to tell me to be comfortable with myself how are you going to turn around and say he is disgusting? Also he is a great guy and amazing dad. Everything he says is trying to be funny and get me to lighten up and feel more comfortable but doesn't really understand that it just makes me feel worse.

DF is 24 5'11 and 111
I am 20 4'11 and 148
LO is 10 wks and 4 days 23 inches and 12 lbs :)
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lunchforthesky
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:26 AM

BUMP!

AnastasiaKorsh
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:32 AM
3 moms liked this
Go get a one piece. I dont know why you bought a two piece since you're clearly having body issues.

No-one is going to look like a model ten weeks PP, unless you have a personal trainer and a diet plan. I think on average it takes about a year for women to get back in shape after they have babies. At ten weeks, weight is not something you should worry about.

As for your DF, you need to voice your insecurities to him. Maybe that will help him be more sensitive.
UxorQuodMatris.
by Ruby Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:34 AM
1 mom liked this
First of all, you're not disgusting. A lot of us have been there. Your baby is still so young, give yourself a break.
First step is to stop being so negative, change won't happen if you keep that up. Take small steps to clean up your diet, make time for exercise. Those things can have a major affect on your mood. It will be hard, but it's worth it.
It might also be a good idea to talk to someone, like a therapist, to get your feelings out without biased or rude opinions and judgements.

Congrats on your baby and good luck, you got this.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:36 AM
1 mom liked this

You could have pumped your breastmilk and donated and lost weight that way. My DD couldn't nurse either and I pumped 10-20 oz of milk a day and donated it all. In 15 months, I went from 202 pounds on the day DD was born to 121.

lunchforthesky
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:37 AM

Thanks for the advice. I would love to talk to someone because my DF is very simple minded, I just dont have any insurance right now. 

tigerstripes12
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:43 AM

wear shorts and a tshirt and don't go in the water.  lay out in the sun (with screen of course lol), read a book, and relax.  sounds like you need it.  if you do feel like going in the water, leave your tshirt on.  put things in perspective... who cares if you're in the water with your tshirt on?  who, at that water park, are you ever going to see again that has an opinion you care about?

white_wolf454
by Platinum Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:43 AM
1 mom liked this

10 weeks you wont lose that much in that amout of time and i have the marks too i will still wear the two peice also you can still use the coco butter and it will fade the marks Honey your man loves you thinks your hot when i had my first kid my so at the time told me to hide my body cause i was gross your man thinks you are a hot woman still be proud ! and if you want i will post my srech mark photos i dont care its part of motherhood

lunchforthesky
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:44 AM

Because DF told me I would look stupid in a one piece and that he "wouldnt claim me". I know he was joking but still made me feel bad, I have a one piece but i would still want to wear shorts overit.


Quoting AnastasiaKorsh:

Go get a one piece. I dont know why you bought a two piece since you're clearly having body issues.

No-one is going to look like a model ten weeks PP, unless you have a personal trainer and a diet plan. I think on average it takes about a year for women to get back in shape after they have babies. At ten weeks, weight is not something you should worry about.

As for your DF, you need to voice your insecurities to him. Maybe that will help him be more sensitive.



lunchforthesky
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:46 AM
1 mom liked this

Thanks. Your post made me smile. ^_^


Quoting white_wolf454:

10 weeks you wont lose that much in that amout of time and i have the marks too i will still wear the two peice also you can still use the coco butter and it will fade the marks Honey your man loves you thinks your hot when i had my first kid my so at the time told me to hide my body cause i was gross your man thinks you are a hot woman still be proud ! and if you want i will post my srech mark photos i dont care its part of motherhood



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:47 AM
9 moms liked this

Your fiance weighs 108 ......... ummm that's gross. Fuck what people say about your stretch marks, they don't have to look at you.

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