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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you do this to make 'her' happy??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So just a couple of things that bother me.  When DH doesn't hang up his towel after his shower. He just balls it up and throws it on the sink.  Everyone else reuses towels at least twice because they are still clean after one use and it cuts back on laundry - but he just doesn't care.    He doesn't always clean up his mess in the kitchen or close cabinet doors.  It really does drive me nuts.  

If these kinds of things was ALLLLL it took to keep your wife happy, would you as a husband TRY to do these things????  

I bring things up to him that irritate me and he acts like I am attacking him or mothering him, ordering him around I don't know, but he's childish about it. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:35 AM
Replies (41-48):
TableforSeven
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:08 AM

Well, I would not want to reuse a towel....personally, I find reusing towels to be disgusting.  Though I would at least throw my wet towel in the laundry basket.

Megan11587
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:10 AM
I have come to terms with the fact that if I want something done, i need to ask. I need to ask every single time. It used to annoy me, but he doesnt complain when I ask, so it made me realize that he doesnt do things to annoy me, he just doesnt think about it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:10 AM

HE has no problem with it.  He agrees to reuse towels, he just doesn't hang them up to properly dry.  So when they are damp and in a ball, they just get smelly so I HAVE to wash them.  When they could have been perfectly reused in order to save money & time doing laundry. 


Well, I would not want to reuse a towel....personally, I find reusing towels to be disgusting.  Though I would at least throw my wet towel in the laundry basket.


AngryBob
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:15 AM
I've only been married for four years, but we have gone through a lot. We currently live in his parents' house. His mother was a hoarder, and died three years ago. We moved in to help out fil, but then he moved out, and left us to dealwith the mess. Then iI was pregnant three years straight. My husband has been dealing with depression. I have often been too sick to move. I am normally a very clean person (my parents were very sloppy people, and so I grew up in a cluttered house, and it drove me nuts), but the state of the house is sad. It's just now, three years later, getting better. There are days it gets to me. I don't understand why he makes the messes he does, opening a package and leaving it on the counter, when the freaking garbage can is literally a foot away. It drives me insane!!! But I have had to deal with it. I have had to go elsewhere in my mind to find happiness. I have patiently waited for him to evolve.
It's finally happening. He's finally understanding what it is to grow the hell up and put his shit away. It's been an uphill battle. He's getting better. But to hang my happiness on that?
Op is lucky. She says she and her husband have no problems. How I long to have absolutely no problems with my husband! How nice it would be, to just enjoy his company, to be in love. But she chooses to be miserable. She chooses to allow something so petty, so small, so simple to ruin her love, her life.
That breaks my heart.
Three years, and it feels like I'm living in my own personal hell. I've had to let go of the small stuff. Otherwise, I wouldn't be married anymore.


Quoting Beautiful31mom:


Quoting AngryBob:

You claim you were being attacked, but you're the one calling names. Have you ever googled the signs of a narcissistic personality? Because it sounds like you have one.

Hanging your entire happiness on whether or not your partner hangs up a towel is petty and ridiculous. You sound psychotic. There are so many beautiful things in this big wide world of ours, but you're so focused on a towel on the ground making you angry, you can't enjoy them - but HE'S the bad guy?

I already stated that it's an annoying habit. He's a jerk for not respecting your feelings. But to be a miserable hag whining about how everybody is soo meeeeaaaannnn because they have the audacity to be a little sloppy (or not exploding with anger because someone in a stranger's life is a little sloppy) is sad and pathetic.

Get a grip on your emotions. Just because I told you that it's not the end of the world doesn't make me a fucking bitch. I have plenty of other bitchy qualities to focus on



Maybe it is just my many years of being married but, I let the small shit go. It is SO not worth it, in the big picture. but hey maybe its just me. I would rather be happy then be miserable.

itsm3
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:27 AM

hate to say this but this isn't something that "just" started; it was years in the making/forming this habit.  perhaps in the beginning you didn't mind picking up after his mess but now that there are time constraints due to kids, work etc, these once "not a big deal" things are now big deals.  these are things that he's used to and he expects -- not that it's any excuse for him to be a slob - but you can't expect him to change over night.

that said, i would seroiusly have a chat with him.  regarldess if he thinks you're attacking him, he needs to pitch in.  a long time ago, i sat down with dh and we drew out a "plan" of who would do what, right down to the letter.  we assigned names to each chore/task so there wouldn't be any suprises (ie. "i didn't know i was supposed to do that!").  it's wonderful to have 2 sets of hands doing stuff; it frees up a lot of time for us to do things with each other, with dd, as a whole family, for ourselves and with our friends.

donnag013
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:33 AM

No, it isn't asking too much. BUT I remember when my xdh asked me to put my dishes in the dishwasher after I had breakfast. We had never done that, but all of sudden, because he wasn't working, this stuff became important to him. It irritated me, because I was working my ass off in a VERY hard job, while he had all damn day to put 2 dishes into the dishwasher. So I didn't.

Pink.Frosting
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:33 AM

I don't see why the towel not being where you want it is a big deal.  It's just a towel.  Not a big deal.  We all do things that irritate our spouses.  It's a two way street.  It's not that hard for all parties involved to give each other some grace on such small things.

Pink.Frosting
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:39 AM
1 mom liked this

 A few extra towels per week is not going to make a difference to your finances.  It's also not going to put any serious time constraints on you.  We're all moms here, we all do laundry and plenty of it, so we know how long it takes.  However many towels he uses per week realistically wouldn't be more than an extra load.  That is not a big deal.  Start the washer, throw in the towels and soap, go on your merry way.  Come back a half hour later and throw them in the dryer and turn it on.  Again, go do other things.  Put clean towels away.  You're looking about no more than 15 minutes worth of work.

Is that really worth making it a major marital issue?  It's not.


Quoting Anonymous:

HE has no problem with it.  He agrees to reuse towels, he just doesn't hang them up to properly dry.  So when they are damp and in a ball, they just get smelly so I HAVE to wash them.  When they could have been perfectly reused in order to save money & time doing laundry. 


Well, I would not want to reuse a towel....personally, I find reusing towels to be disgusting.  Though I would at least throw my wet towel in the laundry basket.

 


 

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