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What would you do? I haven't been home to see my family in 3 years

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:49 PM
  • 37 Replies

And my DD has never met my mother, my sisters or my brother.

We just haven't been able to afford a plane ticket home.  We can now but the tickets all together will cost almost $2k.  I know many will want to know why I waited this long and honestly it is because there has been nothing but chaos here.  Everytime I turn around someone is coming to visit and "needs" to stay with us.  So I finally found a time when I am not expecting anyone and it is before college starts so I made the plans and have done everything but paid for the flights.  If DD and I just go home it will be a little over $1000.  If DH comes with us that adds a little over $500 to the cost.  This doesn't include anything like a rental car (with a rental car just for DD and it would cost just under $2000).  I am hoping that my mom gets her AC fixed in her car so we can borrow it while we are there.  

We can afford it but the thing is that DH is pissed because of how much it will cost.  He doesn't think it is worth it to spend that much money just to go see my family.  This is mainly because he doesn't care for most of my family (mainly on my fathers side) and he hates the weather where I am from (I live in the southern portion of the midwest where it gets really hot and really humid, we live in New England where it is the complete opposite for the most part).  

So he is acting all pissy and is telling me to just buy the tickets.  But I don't want to buy the tickets if he is just going to whine and cry about it the entire time.  At the same time only one of my sisters our of my entire family have seen my daughter.  No one else, including my parents, have met her and this bothers me a lot considering she is now 2.

What would you do?  Any advice?

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by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
blues_pagan
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:53 PM

BUMP!

JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Of course, I would buy the tickets now. Tell him to stay home and save $500 on someone who doesn't want to go in the first place. I would not be ok with my family never having met any of my kids, that's sad.

blues_pagan
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:59 PM

That is how I feel too.  But at the same time most of my family haven't met my DH either.  We were married in Maryland by a JP.  He has met my mom and step dad, my brother and a sister but that is it.  I prefer to keep the rumors within my family (mainly because there are already rumors flying about us as is) to a minimum but I feel stuck.

Quoting JulyBabies:

Of course, I would buy the tickets now. Tell him to stay home and save $500 on someone who doesn't want to go in the first place. I would not be ok with my family never having met any of my kids, that's sad.


JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM



Quoting blues_pagan:

That is how I feel too.  But at the same time most of my family haven't met my DH either.  We were married in Maryland by a JP.  He has met my mom and step dad, my brother and a sister but that is it.  I prefer to keep the rumors within my family (mainly because there are already rumors flying about us as is) to a minimum but I feel stuck.

Quoting JulyBabies:

Of course, I would buy the tickets now. Tell him to stay home and save $500 on someone who doesn't want to go in the first place. I would not be ok with my family never having met any of my kids, that's sad.


I can understand that but it sounds like you just need to tell him what you are doing and he can decide what he wants to do. There are a million excuses you can use as to why he can't be there; work, can't afford the extra ticket, etc.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM

I'd go.  If he doesn't want to go, he can stay home and be an immature little ass all by himself. 

PinkyPan
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM

Do not let him win this with his pissy attitude. If he does not want to go don't push him to go. I would buy the tickets and go see your family.

blues_pagan
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:04 PM

he says he wants to go but that is mainly because he doesn't trust some people in my family (and for good reason that I don't want to go into here).  He wants to keep an eye on DD and see some of the family that he does like.  I just don't want to deal with the attitude.

SalemWitchChild
by Blessed be on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I'd offer that he stay home so you guys save money. Just go and take your DD. Is there a way for you to drive there or take a bus? Maybe that would cost less.

blues_pagan
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:06 PM

We could possibly take a train but that is from Vermont to Missouri.

Quoting SalemWitchChild:

I'd offer that he stay home so you guys save money. Just go and take your DD. Is there a way for you to drive there or take a bus? Maybe that would cost less.


Chloebellesmom1
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Then if he has never met them how dies he know he really doesn't like them? Any man trying to keep me from my family even in a passive aggressive manner would raise red flags. Since he's never met your family now my red alert alarms are going off.
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