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I don't know if I should send this to my husband

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

My heart is pounding...however, I know that I cannot stay silent any longer. Should I send it or burn it?

Dear _______,

I am approaching you with a humble and open heart. This is my plea for help...help with our marriage, our happiness together and our family. The tension between us is almost unbearable. I feel like my chest hurts, my heart is breaking. We need help, from each other.

I am trying to be patient, letting the seasons pass but I don't think that this disconnection is something that I can easily (or even can) recover from. There is coldness between us and I so desperately want love and passion. I don't know how to approach you anymore.

I feel like you think I'm stupid...I feel like I used to be but I'm finally trying to be the authentic woman that I want to be. You've also make it perfectly clear that you don't like me finding things that I enjoy doing. This is heartbreaking to me because I feel like I've supported you through so much...DUI's, bringing your son to the US, holding our family together and focusing ALL of my energy and attention on you and the kids. Through all of this, I feel like my autonomy has been lost. I became a mother and a wife, both roles which I cherish very much, but I temporality lost myself...that fun, uninhibited, sexual being that I used to be. I want her back. I want to grow WITH you.

I feel unable to connect with you. There are many things that you said that you were going to do four months ago like complete a treatment program, do your taxes, be home by five, etc. Although, I am so proud of you (and you should feel proud of yourself) for quitting drinking for this time period, these things have not been accomplished. I feel untrusting of you, insecure and distanced. I used to be in so much pain...I would spend my days waiting for you, have your meal ready and then not receive phone calls. Sometimes you would not come home or come home intoxicated. I put my heart into everything for you and you trampled on it. I feel closed to you and untrusting. You still haven't done what you said you would. I want to be 100% honest with you because I refuse to go back to the place that I have been for the last 9 years...I sugarcoated everything, acted happy despite your betrayals. I laid down and had sex with you over and over for many years, hoping that it would make you love me and respect me. But, it didn't and now we are further apart than we ever have been. I feel tension in my chest when I am near you. And, then, sometimes, I watch you working and you are focused and happy...I wish that I was that material that you were working with. Wanting so much to have that careful perfection focused on me. I am so lonely...

I am lost and don't know what to do. I don't want to spend more years the way we are going. I want to laugh more with you. I want passion and love. I want phone calls during the day. I want family dinners. I want to feel your presence even when you're not here.

I am continuing my growth and transformation, hoping that I can find the answers within myself. But, at the same time, a dialogue between you and I must be started. This letter may make our situation better or much worse. Our communication is so broken that I can't even predict the outcome of this. I hope we can start talking...

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 12:59 PM
2 moms liked this
Yes. Send it. It will open a dialogue.
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:00 PM

 Send it. hopefully he will respond and you guys can be on the road to rebuilding your relationship.

MrsMiles85
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Send it!  Be strong!

flywifey86
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Yes, please do. Your feelIngs and needs have to be validated.
AmazingMomOfTwo
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:01 PM
I'd send it.
SterlingHeart
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM

very well written -- good luck and yes give it to him 

starryeyez23
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:02 PM
Send it
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Sfunds like wrote some of this. Send it sometimes it's easier to talk on paper then through mouth. Good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:04 PM

idk... but here's a bump and some {{{{{hugs}}}}}

jdy9440
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:06 PM

I would send it

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