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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do I politely tell her no?

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:01 PM
  • 11 Replies
My best friend isn't really much of a best friend these days and the other day she mentioned that she knows she will be the god mother when my SO and I have kids. I told her that's a convo I hadn't had with him yet and changed the subject. She also thinks god mother is also the guardian.

I don't want her to be the god mother. There is another friend of mine who would make a wonderful god mother and we want my cousin and her husband to be the guardians if something should happen.

My friend truly is a real Christian. She's not one to say she is and then justify her actions. She is someone even I talk to about Christianity and she's someone that I would feel comfortable if my children went to her concerning Christianity.

My cousin and her husband have been married 20 years and have a 17 year old whos a wonderful kid. She and I have the same parenting styles and they are financially stable enough to raise more children if they needed too (they wanted more than one but she has fertility issues) plus they have a solid stable marriage.

My friend is none of the above. How do I tell her she isn't going to be the go mother or guardian?
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by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
charligirl33
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:06 PM
1 mom liked this

You just say it. She's not going to like it, there's no way to say it that will make her happy you came to that decision, so you just say, "We're asking someone else to be the godparents". It's really that simple. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:08 PM
Just say No
almondpigeon
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:08 PM

i have no idea.  i'm not sure if having god parents is a regional thing or not, but i have no idea what a god parent actually does & i've never known anyone who has god parents.  you can't go wrong with being honest, though.

KristyKat
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:10 PM

Be honest and tell her the reasons.  Established homes and means are a big deal when it comes to guardianship.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:10 PM
This. Be an adult an do it. You don't owe her an explanation either.

Quoting charligirl33:

You just say it. She's not going to like it, there's no way to say it that will make her happy you came to that decision, so you just say, "We're asking someone else to be the godparents". It's really that simple. 

FishPhood
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:10 PM
This.


Quoting almondpigeon:

i have no idea.  i'm not sure if having god parents is a regional thing or not, but i have no idea what a god parent actually does & i've never known anyone who has god parents.  you can't go wrong with being honest, though.


Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this

When the topic comes up in conversation again, you simply say "I'm sorry, but my husband wants the Godparents to be blood relatives, so we've chosen my cousin and her husband."

thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM

But you dont have said children yet? Let her think whatever she wants and break it to her when it actually happens.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:12 PM

I personally would brush it off and pretend like you never heard her say that lol. One day you'll just be talking and it will come up... "Oh, did I tell you we decided that so & so will be ___'s Godmother! Isn't that GREAT!?"

If she's a real friend, she'll support your decision even if her feeling are hurt.

amberleh
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:16 PM

I would just tell her the next time she brings it up that you and DH decided that you would be more comfortable with a family member taking on that responsibility.

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