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I often think about killing myself

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 40 Replies

but i cant because im afraid of what would be in store for me once im gone.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
laranadtony
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I used to but now I think that my mother(who never seemed to care about me) may have actually had a little pride in me and I am going to become everything she expected.

Something that will make her proud.

If she did not actually care, I am going to become everything she did not expect. 

Something that will make her ashamed.

Either way, I will benefit.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:09 PM

That's really weird. 


Quoting laranadtony:

I used to but now I think that my mother(who never seemed to care about me) may have actually had a little pride in me and I am going to become everything she expected.

Something that will make her proud.

If she did not actually care, I am going to become everything she did not expect. 

Something that will make her ashamed.

Either way, I will benefit.



laranadtony
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

That's really weird. 


Quoting laranadtony:

I used to but now I think that my mother(who never seemed to care about me) may have actually had a little pride in me and I am going to become everything she expected.

Something that will make her proud.

If she did not actually care, I am going to become everything she did not expect. 

Something that will make her ashamed.

Either way, I will benefit.



Not really.

It is a plan not to destroy myself over what I can't do anything about.

It would have been so easy for me. Few would have even noticed I was gone but I decided to fight it.

Don't sweat the petty things;Don't pet the sweaty things!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:14 PM

It's not about approval or non approval for me. Everyone will notice. People I love will feel pain and won't understand. But I'm so tired. 


Quoting laranadtony:


Quoting Anonymous:

That's really weird. 


Quoting laranadtony:

I used to but now I think that my mother(who never seemed to care about me) may have actually had a little pride in me and I am going to become everything she expected.

Something that will make her proud.

If she did not actually care, I am going to become everything she did not expect. 

Something that will make her ashamed.

Either way, I will benefit.



Not really.

It is a plan not to destroy myself over what I can't do anything about.

It would have been so easy for me. Few would have even noticed I was gone but I decided to fight it.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:01 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:01 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:02 PM

BUMP!

lancet98
by Ruby Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:05 PM

If you are thinking about killing yourself in the sense of like, 'gee, i have so many troubles, I don't know what to do', or 'sometimes I think my only way out is to just end it all', you need to talk to your doctor immediately and let him/her know about this.   

If you have a PLAN, go straight to the emergency dept of a hospital, and call your doc on the way over.

If you have sudden impulses to steer the car off the road or hurt yourself severely, and can barely keep that from happening, if such plans make you happy, hospital, hospital, hospital.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:14 PM

This is why I am anon. If I end up in the hospital, things will only get worse. I am rock bottom right now. And there isn't a light at the end of this tunnel. I haven't told any of my family. I put it away, I don't seem depressed. But inside I'm raging and I just want to freak out. 


Quoting lancet98:

If you are thinking about killing yourself in the sense of like, 'gee, i have so many troubles, I don't know what to do', or 'sometimes I think my only way out is to just end it all', you need to talk to your doctor immediately and let him/her know about this.   

If you have a PLAN, go straight to the emergency dept of a hospital, and call your doc on the way over.

If you have sudden impulses to steer the car off the road or hurt yourself severely, and can barely keep that from happening, if such plans make you happy, hospital, hospital, hospital.



yellowrose6145
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:17 PM

 I think when people say crap like this, they just mainly want too see how much  attention they can get ,,,Cause if it were to be for real, why  write about it and not get the dam help...hello-------------when you can  be finding out why and what you are up against and try to get to feeling normal or happy or whatever it is to feel good like a normal person...Who cares what other people think of you , Only you know what you can do and not do to change the bad in your every day life..If something or someone doesnt agreed to you or with you stay away from it or them . .And dont be around people that  knock you down ,,,cause once you fall down on your own , you will know  if you want to get back up or not , cause it's your own feet and hands that will carry you and do for you what you make them do ....everyone has alot of good to them , sometimes it takes a person a while longer and more heart ache to go threw before they can start to see they can change things . from there view and other people's.....you say that you cannt, cause your afraid of what would be in store for you once you are gone...Well than that must tell you something , There is bigger and better for you here than ,, so go find it and put a smile on your beautiful face....look at the sunshine everyday ,,,it is as beautiful as you and me and everyone around us .

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