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TELL ME THEN, HOW DOES AN ADULT ACT?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
So my sister is drama. She lies, steals and would sell your soul for a buck if she could. She's 2 faced, and will use anything you have done- against you. She will start stuff out of nowhere... She will just yell and yell and get in your face.

I've had enough. I am 20, about to be 21. She is 21 about to be 22. She thinks everyone owes her SOMETHING. Since I have been on anxiety meds, I am now able to stand up for myself instead if taking her crap. - seriously after she's done with you, you will WANT to die. Its that bad with her.

I avoid her, stay as far away as possible but my family keeps bringing her around- mainly my brother.

Last week my mother brought her to my new house. I had boxes everywhere, and I had no furnture at all. So it looked pretty sad .. I know that. I didn't want my sister in my house but I kept calm and didn't say a word. Later that night I go with my mother to drop my sister off at her apartment. She out if no where starts screaming and yelling at me. Starts saying really hateful things as well. I could feel my blood boiling, my palms sweating and then I started shaking. I couldn't leave, we were on the highway. So I told her to stop. I tried counting in my hand, ignoring everything she said and repeated. Then she says my place looks like crap.

So I told her to shut up and stop it, just because her life is fucked does not mean she can put down mine. She started laughing saying I had no life because I don't do anything. I told her I had no reason to party, no reason to do drugs or sell my body for cash. I have a soon to be 4 year old, I grew up a long time ago.

Eventually we get to her place. Dropher off and that was it. She starts texting me that night like everything was fine. I ignored the texts and continued my day.

Just now my brother comes over. I see my sister behind him. I let my brother in the house and say very calmly looking just at my brother 'I'm sorry bit she is not welcomed here.' My sister states at me in disbelief. My brother starts saying 'why not? Where's --- (my dds name)? She just wants to see the house, let her in.' I reply 'sorry but no. She is not welcomed here.' My sister screams 'bitch'. I ignor her and stay calm, not even a dirty look do I give. My brother closes the door and says to me 'now come on, she wants to see '

Me: sorry no. You ate welcomed but she is not. If you don't agree you can leave to.
Brother: why can't she see?
Me: she already saw and called my house a bunch of things. Said it was trash so why should I let her in?
Him: okay be the big girl here, come on.
Me: I'm sorry but no. She is drama, that I do not need.

At this point I start shaking- my anxiety is extremely high and in certain situations - like standing up for myself- I still shake.

I stepped back and told him that I do not want to see her. I do not want to be around her. I do not want to know her drama or any other lie that spills from her mouth.

He told me to grow up. I told Jim I was sorry but I am being a grown up, I do not need this. And then he left.

Am I being grown up? Did I do the right thing? She will never change her ways. I am so tired of her making me feel like crap. I admit I got pregnant at 16- not a wise thing of course... But I choose to learn from my mistake. Got a job, finished school, provided everything and anything dd ever needed and never spending a dime on myself. I have NOT become pregnant again... However my sister just had her 8th pregnancy... No she has no living children, its abortions and planned abortions but her body decided to abort itself so she had a few miscarriages.

I don't think I'm being childish... So I'm asking you guys. What would you do if you were me? Was I acting childish?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
catrig
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:08 PM
You aren't required to deal with her.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:10 PM
I just dont know what to say that will make my brother understand that she is not welcomed in my life anymore.... He keeps calling me childish. I'm not having a tantrum like her, I just ignore and move on. I'm trying to be an adult but he keeps stating I'm not.


Quoting catrig:

You aren't required to deal with her.

firespurity
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:15 PM
You are allowed to have your limits with people. Good for you, she sounds volatile.
birthymom4
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:16 PM
Tell her to fuck off.
catrig
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:17 PM
He can say what he wants. You've said your piece, you aren't required to defebd your position over and over. Don't worry about it. It's not worth arguing over.


Quoting Anonymous:

I just dont know what to say that will make my brother understand that she is not welcomed in my life anymore.... He keeps calling me childish. I'm not having a tantrum like her, I just ignore and move on. I'm trying to be an adult but he keeps stating I'm not.




Quoting catrig:

You aren't required to deal with her.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:18 PM
If it would have been me i would tore her ass a new one the first time and then would have told her not step foot back in my yard.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Your family has allowed your sister to behave badly for so long that it's just become the norm. And when someone stands up to her, then they don't know how to act. It's easier for them to be offended by you rather than deal with the real problem. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Keep doing it and it will get easier over time.
PinkyPan
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:20 PM

Good for you standing up for yourself. You need to make sure you stay strong and let your family know that you have set boundaries. If they can not respect your wishes then you are better off cutting ties.

Roo1234
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:20 PM
he calls you childish because no one else has the courage to stand up to her.
the next time he calls you childish, don't argue with him about it. agree and reply that you are being childish because that seems to be the only way anyone gets their way in your family

continue to stand your ground and frankly be prepared to have everyone take her side because they lack the conviction to stand up to her. for them it is easier to go along and put up with her antics than to do what you did.

take care of yourself and your child.
LadyAmaranth
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:23 PM

You did the right thing. I commend you for keeping your calm, many wouldn't.

You acted like an adult...wtg!!

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