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I'm Pregnant. I'm old. I'm tired. I don't want to be. Help.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Please try not to judge. I'm 37 and have a 7 month old baby and a 2.6 year old. I love my children. I would want more-- if I were 25. I have a physical condition that causes me a lot of pain, fatigue and strife. I am just devastated. I'm exhausted and can barely handle the kids I've got. I am against abortion but now I find myself in this awful position. I was on a very low dose birth control that has evidently failed. I just missed my period. What would you do? Please don't suggest adoption because if I'm going to carry a child I wouldn't give it up. I'm just so depressed. Please help.

UPDATE!!!! Aunt Flo showed up!! I would have put money on being pregs. All I can say is THANK GOD!! Now it's time for permanent bcp!!
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:17 PM
Replies (121-130):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:51 PM

I say be grateful for the blessings coming to you in the form of children. I will never be able to carry a child, I envy you. You can do it. Just know you are stronger than you think, this child was meant for you, you will be an amazing mom to this addition to your family.

leavinglasvegas
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:58 PM
I was 33 and 35 when I got pregnant with my 2 - and could get pregnant just by thinking about it. Some women actually do have a boost in fertility in their late 30's as the body tries to ramp up before menopause. I *think* twins are more naturally common during this age as well. My DH got clipped, but 3 years after my last one. I was terrified of getting pregnant for those 3 years, but also knew that I was still in the "diapers and potty training" stages with my others, so I wouldn't be super happy, but I'd welcome the new baby. (Didn't happen - whew!)
Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously! You would think no eggs want to hang out in my miserable body. Wasn't fertility supposed to decline? I've never been so fertile!


Quoting Anonymous:

I feel for you, I do.



I am 37 and have had my tubes tied for 6 years. If I don't start tomorrow, I will be testing Thursday. This is ridiculous. Lol


cndnmomof3
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel for you -- and I was in the same boat as you about a year ago.  I was 38, and had just returned back to work from my last maternity leave, when 3 weeks later -- I found out I was pregnant with #3.  I won't lie -- I cried hysterically for an entire weekend, and then off-and-on for another couple of weeks.  I was convinced my career was over, any alone time would be non-existent, and that life was just going to be so much harder.  Friends encouraged abortion, but it's just not something I could live with.  Plus. my husband was overjoyed about #3 and he is a really supportive, loving father.  I decided to keep the baby, and I was pretty down the entire pregnancy.  I worried and worried about the effects it would have on us financially, to my career, to the time we have with our other two children (ie. the middle child phenomena), and our ability to spend time together as a couple (love my husband -- he's been my best friend since I was 18).  I honestly just felt slightly depressed the entire pregnancy, I was so filled with doubts.  And the horrendous nausea for 24 weeks did not help things.  But I just had my dear little son 3.5 weeks ago, and I can tell you, without a doubt -- I have NO regrets.  It's amazing, you can't conceive of it before your little one arrives, but the heart expands.  I truly, truly feel blessed beyond all measure -- he's such a darling baby.  And it's so nice to hold a newborn in your arms again.  I never knew I'd missed that feeling, but it's just lovely.  I will say this -- I am tired as hell, and baby still has his days and nights inverted.  And recovering from my c-section was no picnic.  But I am so glad to have this child.  I will add, however, that I do have a nanny.  I understand you do not have any help, and I totally appreciate that it will be much harder for you.  My eldest also just turned 5, so she is a lot easier to manage, and will start full-day kindergarten in September.  But I understand your feelings, and I can say that if you can hack it out a few years, I don't think you'll have regrets.  But I'm not in your shoes, and I don't know your exact circumstances.  Also -- can I ask how your husband feels about things?  Is he helpful and supportive?  Is he excited about having another child, or also having his misgivings.  It's a decision you'll have to make as a couple.  Good luck -- and hugs -- I know it's a very tough place to be.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:29 PM

So glad you're not preggo! 

paganmommy4
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Choosing his parents, spending time with them, seeing how they were with him, was the easy part. Yes I cried for maybe two weeks but then I was alright when I saw him in his home. I made peace with it and im not cut off. They are part of my family and I will still be his mother no matter what. Its better than the other option..
Quoting Aislin:

That really depends on the person. I would say its more heartbreaking than you think. 

Quoting paganmommy4:

as a mom who placed her child for adoption its not as heart breaking as you think. 


Pagan, Pro-choice, Pro-vaxing, Pitbull Advocate
Grumpylilpixy
by Ruby Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 12:47 AM

I am 34 and I have a 12,11 and 6 yr old. I am done with having children. I am sorry you are in this position but it gets easier as they get older.

Sorry mama :o(

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Maybe she can't take them. My body Is very picky when it comes to BC. I had an iud for 1.5 year and I bled almost the entire time. I was on depo and that was working fine, but I'd rather not get osteoporosis in my 30's, I can't take the pill at all because it just makes me vomit. And the spermicides give me yeast infections. A d I've tried different ones. Not everyone body is the same. And not everyone is ready for such a permanent solution,

Quoting Anonymous:there are other forms.


Quoting Anonymous:... Did you even read the post?... She WAS on BC. A low dose one...


Quoting Anonymous:how about birth control. seriously, you are a 37 yr old basket case acting 17.
username123
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Have the baby, then either you or your dh get sterilized after you have the baby.
username123
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:10 AM
My dh and I planned for dd...I had just turned 38 and thought it would be hard for me to conceive. It took two months iirc!




Quoting Anonymous:

Seriously! You would think no eggs want to hang out in my miserable body. Wasn't fertility supposed to decline? I've never been so fertile!




Quoting Anonymous:

I feel for you, I do.





I am 37 and have had my tubes tied for 6 years. If I don't start tomorrow, I will be testing Thursday. This is ridiculous. Lol


Aislin
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 12:23 PM

I'm really glad it has worked out for you. I'm not trying to invalidate your experience at all. Just pointing out that it really depends on the person and the many factors involved. I am very happy that you haven't experienced what I have. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I think it really comes down to the fact that some people just can not handle adoption. If they say before hand that they wouldn't be able to then I think that should be respected because they are probably right. Too often it is ignored and women who can not handle it end up pressured into a decision they can not live with. (goes for abortion as well)

Quoting paganmommy4:

Choosing his parents, spending time with them, seeing how they were with him, was the easy part. Yes I cried for maybe two weeks but then I was alright when I saw him in his home. I made peace with it and im not cut off. They are part of my family and I will still be his mother no matter what. Its better than the other option..
Quoting Aislin:

That really depends on the person. I would say its more heartbreaking than you think. 

Quoting paganmommy4:

as a mom who placed her child for adoption its not as heart breaking as you think. 



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