Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

32 years old and still trying to please a parent

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
I have made the descion to go to school and get certified as a hair dresser. I told my whole family and most are happy for me. I do have a few really supportive people to include dh. My dad however is less than enthused and has tried to talk me out of it, suggesting other options that he thinks are better. They aren't for me. Even though I don't live near him we talk a lot and his opinion matters. I felt deflatted after talking to him.

I have wasted a lot of money trying to find my nitch. After high school I went to college for a year and didn't do well at all. Then I kind messed around for another year trying to something. I joined the military.

After getting out I wasted more time and money by trying to go back to college. Still class room book work is NOT my thing.

I have thought about doing hair and make up secretly but have kept it to myself, mainly because I thought growing up it was something my dad wouldnt approve of.

I did work for 2 years in a medical office. I was making great money, but still not happy. We moved recently and I have finally got the courage to go to school. I took a tour today and loved it. Even though I am starting in something I barely know I am excited to try my hand it. I am creative and hands on. Plus I dont have to be a high end hair and make up artist can just be me. My goal is be self employed with a steady clientel.

It still bugs me my dad is not on bored. I have given him my reasons why, he says I dont have explain myself, but I can tell he thinks this a dumb career. I feel it dumb that wasted all that time and money.

Btw all his suggestions required lots of class room work and time 2-4 years which I don't want to do. One being money I only have a year left of the gi bill and don't want to fail again. Two, everything he suggested was great for my sister or his wife's two grown girls not me.

With my kids if they feel that college or military isnt their thing, having a trade is just good and worthy. I see that not everyone is college material and there are options out there where you just don't need it. Both dh and I have been very sucessful without a college degree and make enough money to be comfortable with a coushion.

Please think about not pressuring kids into college, instead encourage them to seek out their strengths and use them to have career.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:33 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:43 PM
Bump
twade26
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:45 PM

I am the same way. I am 27 and I am still trying to please my Dad.

panther79
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:48 PM

As long as my kids are doing something that makes them a happy member of society I don't care if they go to college or technical school. I just want them to be able to support themselves.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:49 PM

I want my kids to have good careers and that almost always means college. I'd be disappointed if my kids wanted to be hairdressers too, that was the high school drop out career of choice when I was in school. 

rebeccarae
by Bec on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:50 PM
I can see both sides, I know in my family and friends alone, 11 hairdressers, so it's harder to get clientele from what I hear, but you have to do what makes YOU happy. Good luck on your goals OP. do what's best for you.
mysticalmalissa
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:52 PM

Parents want what is best for their kids. The problem is they usually have a screwed up way of showing it or talking about it.

I thought I was the black sheep, I thought I was my Dad's worst nightmare of a child. I was lead to believe that, because it seemed nothing I ever did was good enough in his eyes.

Well I found out last year, that all these years he was actually proud of me. Proud that I was hardheaded and extremely strong willed and could survive anything.

The last time he was ill and in the hospital he told me, he knew without a doubt I was the only one of the kids, that would never let life get me down and I would without a doubt accomplish anything I ever put my mind to and that he was indeed proud of me. 

I have raised my boys to follow their dreams.

dtm1491
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:53 PM

At 32 I would hope my daughter had found something and saw it through. Maybe he is just worried that he is older and you are jumping around so much. He probably just wants to see you settled.

boshs1andonly
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:56 PM

I gave up on trying to please my parents, and for now I'm just not talking to them. Every time I talk to them they ask me when I'm getting a job (I have my own business, but apparently that doesn't count since I'm still building it up. I told my dad I passed my comprehensive exam for graduate school and all he said was, oh so you're getting a job now? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:08 PM
Believe me at 32 I wish I had it figured it out too. I wish it could had the guts to do it sooner without the guilt of feeling like a failure. Taking that tour I did not get feeling that one person was doing because it was beneath them. People were proud of themselves and excited to excell. I feel like it is a prefect fit.


Quoting dtm1491:

At 32 I would hope my daughter had found something and saw it through. Maybe he is just worried that he is older and you are jumping around so much. He probably just wants to see you settled.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured