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i need him to try to understand.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies
1 mom liked this

my df.

i am going through some hard things . including not having my kids. ( long story i wont get into. ) i am cutoff from family, and i have no friends. he is literally all i have. i go to work, see my kids whenever i can, and the rest of the time is spent with him at home. i have no alone time. i think if i had an hour of alone time id freak out, i havent had it in so long. i am also severely depressed in my mind. trying to function around it, and always having someone watch my every move, is making me withdrawl. i spend a lot of time on here. more than i should. but its my only outlet. my df says i should confide in him. i try. but as much as i tell him, its not the same. he will never know what its like to be a mother who had her kids ripped from her. he has no biological kids. i know hes trying. but i need him to try to truly understand. going on here, makes me feel maybe just a bit normal still. having something to concentrate on. when my mind wanders it hurts. i dont think it would be so bad if i actually had a friend, or some family. my mom. but i dont. im a hamster on a wheel, and for whatever reason cafe mom is my break from running in circles.  most of the time i feel like im going to break. i have almost tried killing myself. ( im ok now) he is mad. wants me to stop going on here. but i feel like that would kill me. being on here is my time to be a good mom. talking about my kids. bragging on them. sharing pictures. i have nobody left. if i get rid of cafemom i feel like the last bit of the old me will be gone. i love him, but he doesnt truely understand. i feel like he never will. i need SOMETHING to get me day to day, minute to minute. and he thinks it should be him. i feel suffocated, out of breathe. i want one day where someone doesnt watch every move i make.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:31 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:33 PM

bump.

TexTornado
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:36 PM

I feel for you.   but if you are anything like my sister who lost her kids for a REASON then I will have a hard time sympathizing.  You reap what you sow.    Now you need to get yourself out of the house & doing something productive!!! Start making a life for yourself.  You've had enough time to wallow around in it, now let's get up & get going!  Enjoy life!  This is the only one you have & you should cherish it!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:44 PM


i'm not a bad mom. i love my kids. they are fed, healthy happy a students. i dont do drugs. i work full time. but there were circumstances that happened. i wont delve into it, but im not a bad mother.

Quoting TexTornado:

I feel for you.   but if you are anything like my sister who lost her kids for a REASON then I will have a hard time sympathizing.  You reap what you sow.    Now you need to get yourself out of the house & doing something productive!!! Start making a life for yourself.  You've had enough time to wallow around in it, now let's get up & get going!  Enjoy life!  This is the only one you have & you should cherish it!!



TexTornado
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:48 PM


most moms lose their kids for financial reasons so I understand. But get OUT and get to doing something, even if it's volunteering at a nursing home or a dog shelter!! 



uoting Anonymous:



i'm not a bad mom. i love my kids. they are fed, healthy happy a students. i dont do drugs. i work full time. but there were circumstances that happened. i wont delve into it, but im not a bad mother.

Quoting TexTornado:

I feel for you.   but if you are anything like my sister who lost her kids for a REASON then I will have a hard time sympathizing.  You reap what you sow.    Now you need to get yourself out of the house & doing something productive!!! Start making a life for yourself.  You've had enough time to wallow around in it, now let's get up & get going!  Enjoy life!  This is the only one you have & you should cherish it!!




robyann
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:49 PM

Can you get your kids back? Figure out what you need to do to get them back and start working on that. You need to set some kind of goal for yourself. Your bf isn't capable of understanding what your going through. He may really care about you and want to help but he just has no clue. You may not be in a stable enough place to really give what it takes to make a  relationship work. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:50 PM


i'm doing everything i can. as far as day to day life i'm doing it.

Quoting robyann:

Can you get your kids back? Figure out what you need to do to get them back and start working on that. You need to set some kind of goal for yourself. Your bf isn't capable of understanding what your going through. He may really care about you and want to help but he just has no clue. You may not be in a stable enough place to really give what it takes to make a  relationship work. 



robyann
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:00 PM

that's good that your doing everything you can, just keep your focus, your goal is to get your kids back, so every decision you make you should consider how that will effect your goal, everything you do should be towards that goal

Quoting Anonymous:


i'm doing everything i can. as far as day to day life i'm doing it.

Quoting robyann:

Can you get your kids back? Figure out what you need to do to get them back and start working on that. You need to set some kind of goal for yourself. Your bf isn't capable of understanding what your going through. He may really care about you and want to help but he just has no clue. You may not be in a stable enough place to really give what it takes to make a  relationship work. 




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