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What the F**K is going on...???

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

I feel like I'm about to puke and I don't know what to do.  Here is the story.  My oldest is 8.  I was watching "That 70's show" on netflix.  There was a part where Red and Kitty obviously had sex but her not really knowing what it was I didn't think anything of it.  Until she said that that she thinks they "made out".  So wondering what she knew I asked her what she thought making out was.  I only asked because my husband and I are kinda touchy feely with each other and while we keep it behind closed doors and around corners out of sight I still wanted to make sure she hadn't heard or seen anything.  She said kissing and then started asking all shy and what not.  so I asked her what all she knew.  I told her she wouldn't get into trouble or anything that I just wanted to know what she knew.  she finally told me "a girl sucking on a guys nuts."  I asked her where she got that idea from thinking that maybe her had accedentally over heard me and her father my husband talking dirty to each other.  She said she saw Daddy watching a sex video and that was what was on it.  Things started getting worse from there and I don't know what to believe.  First she said that he let her watch the "sex video" with him and when I asked if there was anything else and she said she saw his "thing" and I asked if it was on purpose.  She said it was then she said it wasn't.  she said he touched her then she said he didn't.  She said she touched him then she didn't.  I asked her how she saw him watching the viedo she said she couldn't remember.  I DO watch a lot of Steve Wilkos and I wondered if she started saying some of this becuase of that and that maybe I was guiding the conversation too much.  cause she would say one thing and I would repeat that in the whole story and then she'd say no that isn't what happened.  I called him at work and told him he needed to come home.  I did NOT let him in the house (he is still sitting out side right now) and I took his keys away so he can't get inside and he can't drive away incase I call the cops.  I relayed tiny bits of her story to him and didn't tell him which daughter it was and said I wanted his side of the story to see if the primary things she said that he said too and to see if he got the right kid.  His story was consistant with hers but in a whole other way.  He said she caught him watching a porn where a girl was giving a blow job but that he was embarrassed and didn't really say anything about it but turned it off and went into our room.  She followed shortly after (which is VERY common for her to do) and when she walked in he had already gotten naked for a shower and he told her to go on and shut the door.  He said it happened a few years ago.  All of these things are what she said too.  In her story he didn't say she could watch porn with him, he didn't ask her to come into the room with him she just followed, She is being consistant that he didn't touch her and she didn't touch them and admitted she said that before because it was like Steve Wilkos.  He didn't know that she even had said it was a couple years ago and that it never happened again and it never happened before this either.  Their stories match eccept for her going back and forth on things that are like touching and if he showed it on purpose or not.  She keeps adding and taking away things.  I know a child not being consistant typically means they are making it up and I will admit that I may had gone a bit too far in my questioning especially with me not being a professional and not asking the right questions.  But I CAN NOT put my kids in possible risk for it happening to them.  IDK what to do.  Do I send him away until I can get her evaluated?  With their stories matching exccept for her adding things then taking them back does it sound likely that he's telling the truth and that I'm just pushing her too hard and she's saying things cuse she thinks she has to.  I just don't know what to do.  It's looking more and more like nothing happened and less like something did.  She even came out side and told him that she was sorry she ever told me about it becuase nothing happened and wishes I'd just drop it.  She isn't scared of him and never has been.  she even said he didn't threaten her or anything if she told anyone.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:47 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:53 PM

My question is why didn't he fucking tell you immediately? The hiding of this is what's making it worse, it makes him look guilty. I don't even know what to say, I would probably ask him to leave until I could figure out what the hell I should do. It's crazy that your daughter is now apologizing and getting pissed at you for not dropping it. If something did happen you'll probably never get her to talk to anyone about it in an attempt to save her dad.

hddcooper
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:53 PM
Don't know who Steve wilkos is. That's kinda effed up. What does your gut tell you? Where did they say she heard the "sucking on a guys nuts" from? That's odd. Oh wait. I just saw you feel like your gonna puke. Listen to your gut. Sorry. That's my honest opinion.

Edit: gut not guy
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:53 PM
1 mom liked this

My SIL told everyone it wasn't true so her dad could come back home. She felt like the whole family was split apart because of something she did wrong. 3 years later he was caught with her younger sister. Turns out 4 of their friends and a niece had also been molested. He served time in prison.

Have him stay somewhere else for a couple days and get her checked out. If he is innocent then he would want these things also. 

good luck .

busymommy2013
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM
Why are you on CM while this is currently going on? I'd be dealing with the situation! Its definitely a hard choice on this one. I know you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you believed husband, but also don't want husband to be thrown in jail and labeled as an offender for the rest of his life if this wasn't true. I would make him stay somewhere else while you go have your daughter questioned and also explain to the evaluator what husband said also.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 17, 2013 at 12:02 AM
Let it go. It's obvious the child is more afraid of you. Adding and taking away things is very consistent when a child fears they will get in trouble. They "Think" you want to hear certain things or you would not be asking. If you keep asking a child eventually the child will change its story repeatedly. Their stories match you said it. Is it worth losing your family because you are making something of nothing? You both will lose the kids for a period of time, dad will end up a sex offender with no job etc.. All because you want to get her evaluated.
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