I've seen quite a few people posting confessions and stories about their experience, and I figured I could do the same as well!
I married my ex-husband after dating 9 months when I was 19. (I truthfully didn't want to marry him, but I had nowhere else to go) but I figured I could be content.
A few months after we married, we moved 400 miles away from my family to the area where his family lived.
I met his family a few times, and I later found out he was telling his family I hated them, and telling me that they hated me, so I wouldnt have any sort of relationship with them.
I had no family nearby, no friends, I was pregnant with my first child. I was becoming deeply unhappy, but I wanted our marriage to work. He was becoming increasingly violent. He would punch holes in the wall, and scream at me. It was all MY fault bscause I made him ao angry. I left him once, and came back a month later (because I still had no place to go, and I believed he wanted to change. For me, and for the baby.)
By the time I was 8 months pregnant, I was feeling broken, and guilty for being such a terrible wife. I needed to lose 30 lbs to be perfect, I needed to grow out my hair because I wasn't pretty enough with short hair. He called me a bitch EVERY single day, he would rant how I should be greatful for all that he does for me, and would throw things at me. A heavy wooden chair, a plate at my head. I never knew when he was going to freak out over something I had done. He threw the plate at my head because I asked him for a pair of tennis shoes because my feet hurt so bad, bit his $60 video game was more important.
I couldn't stand being around him. His scent, his stuff, he made me want to vomit. I did not want him around me, I couldn't even stand to kiss him without brushing my teeth afterwards.
I began making excuses why I couldn't have sex with him, until a few days later, he didn't take no for an answer after that.
When the police where called in for domestic violence, I truly realized the situation I was in. I was NOT going to bring my son into this world, I was going to be a good mother.
My mom was in a stable realationship, and in a steady home by now, so I began planning to move in with her. (My exhusband didn't have her new address)
My son was born, and I finally truly realized WHAT love was. Having him is like having my heart on the outside of my body.
My exhusband had NO interest in him, so he was all mine.
I remember my exhusband raping me weeks after my son was born, telling me that if I got pregnant again Id have to abort the baby.
When he was at work, my mom and her partner drove up, packed up my stuff, and left. I put a restraining order on him, and a year later he disappeared. No one knows where he is, but I'm free!
It will be 2 years ago that I left him, on October 14th.
I've had counseling once a week for the past 6 months. I'm a full time college student, I have a healthy happy two year old, I'm back among the people who love me.
I am honestly and truly the happiest Ive ever been in my adult life!