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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you read this if it was an intro to a book?

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:51 AM
  • 46 Replies
3 moms liked this
Okay ladies......I want your honest opinions. I know this isn't going to be perfect, and I know most of you probably won't like it. I am doing this as something to do in my free time, and I can promise you that it will get better with time. If you do not like it, you do not have to be rude, or hateful. If you do like it, a like for my post would be lovely lol.

Don't be too harsh on me ladies, okay? This is the first time I've written anything in a long time.


I watch him, breathing softly. So innocent. Or so he seems. I know his true nature. The one who hurt me. He has no idea that I am here, in his room, sitting right across from where he lays, sleeping. I have time, so I close my eyes, and I remember.
I remember how he charmed me, made me laugh and smile. How all our friends seemed to slowly dissappear, until it was just us two. He told me he was going to take me to a special spot of his. somewhere he always went to relax. We went to a lake. I remember he got out, still smiling, but by the time he got to my side, he had changed. He pulled me out of the car, and shoved me down on the ground. He put a knife to my throat, and told me to be quiet. That is when he hurt me. When he finished, and I lay bleeding, he just laughed. A cold, emotionless, heartless laugh, and got in his car and left. I don't know how long I laid there, but I remember seeing a stranger walk up to me. He looked down at me, and he had the most amazing blue eyes, like sapphires with fire behind them. He sat down next to me, and began to talk to me. He told me his name, and what he was, and that he had one question for me that a simple yes or no would answer, and he would be on his way. I remember him asking me if I wanted that question, and I slowly nodded my head. He did, and I said yes. All I remember next is a small prick of pain, and then nothing.
When I woke, I knew what I had become, and I knew what I must do. And that has led me here, to his bedroom.
He begins to stir, and I continue sitting where I am. He opens his eyes, knowing he is being watched, but just not by who. Still, I do not move. He sits up, and looks around, and as soon as he sees me, lightning flashes behind me, illuminating the whole room.
I smile as he sees me, and flounders around on his bed, trying to get up.
" What are you doing here? How did you get in? You're supposed to be dead!! " he yells at me, pointing his finger in my direction. I just continue smiling.
" But, I'm not dead, as you can see. I got in the same way everyone else does: through your front door. Quite an obvious spot to hide a spare key......under the mat. So typical. " I get up, and begin walking around him, making sure he has his back to his wall, which is nothing but a wall of glass looking out over a cliff. A really beautiful view, but tonight, it serves another purpose.
I keep walking toward him, making him walk farther and farther back, until he hits the glass. The lightning flashes again, and I smile.
" Let me tell you something, " I say, " I suffered so much pain at your hands. You almost killed me. You hurt me. You thought you had power over me. Well, my dear, guess what? Now I have power over you, and you will pay for what you did to me. " I slammed my hands against the glass, shattering it, causing him to jump forward, almost touching me. Rain is pouring down now, and the wind is howling.
He is terrified, and I love it.
"Now you will know what it felt like for me to be on the brink of death. " I push him back with just a fingertip, to the point where he is balancing just inches away from the edge of the cliff.
"Please, " he says " please don't do this. I'm sorry!!!! I'm sorry!!! There!!!! I apologized!!!! I'm sorry I did that to you!!!! Please don't do this!!! " He looks behind him, at the sheer drop-off of the cliff.
" Oh.....allright. Maybe I can forgive you. " I reach to take his hand, knowing he is off balance by that small motion. " Then again, maybe I can't. "
I grab his hand, and smile, showing my true identity. I see the fear in his eyes, and I hear his scream as I shove him out of the window, and watch him fall deep down onto the bottom of the cliff.
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Alchemist_Momma
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:57 AM
bump
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:57 AM
2 moms liked this

That is really good. NO...that is GREATTTTTTTTTT

Now when are  you going to write the full book?????????

I thought it was going to be a love scene then all of a sudden you did a 360 on me, lol

Alchemist_Momma
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:57 AM
Okay.....I know its a bit long, but geez come on ladies! Hell!!!!!!
Shadow_Walker
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:58 AM

Sorry OP, not my cup of tea.  Here's a BUMP for you though

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:59 AM

Its not LONG........BUT make a drama like post title...they are all sleeping , lol

Quoting Alchemist_Momma:

Okay.....I know its a bit long, but geez come on ladies! Hell!!!!!!


KyBugsMommy815
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:59 AM
Sounds interesting. I would probably read it.
eve210
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:59 AM
Same here

Quoting Shadow_Walker:

Sorry OP, not my cup of tea.  Here's a BUMP for you though

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Alchemist_Momma
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:00 AM
You actually like it? Thanks Sassy!!!!

This is the first time I've written anything since high school, to be honest. I used to write all the time. People would love my stories, but most people who read them said I got too detailed with my writings. I think that is the best part though! It makes you feel like your right there with the person your reading about!

Hopefully it WILL end up being a full book. Hopefully.......


Quoting Sassy762:

That is really good. NO...that is GREATTTTTTTTTT

Now when are  you going to write the full book?????????

I thought it was going to be a love scene then all of a sudden you did a 360 on me, lol

Alchemist_Momma
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:01 AM
Thanks. I know its not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and I respect that. Thanks for the bump!

Quoting Shadow_Walker:

Sorry OP, not my cup of tea.  Here's a BUMP for you though

rebeccarae
by Bec on Jul. 17, 2013 at 4:02 AM
2 moms liked this


This, I would read it. I always say if I can envision it as I read it, it's good, and I was seeing it as i was reading along. Excellent!

Quoting KyBugsMommy815:

Sounds interesting. I would probably read it.



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