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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Spanking over an accident? Yelling at the child?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 71 Replies
First let me say, I do not spank dd, nor do I have anything against people who choose to Spank. If it work for your family, more power to you. But this is just something I don't quite understand.

We have a 16 month yold. We started potty training a month ago. She was showing alot of signs that she was ready to start potty training so I figured, why not, the worst that can happen would be that she isn't quite ready and we try again when she's a little better.

Sil started potty training her 2 year old about a week after we started with dd.

Sil has been saying that she doesn't understand why her daughter has alot more accidents than dd does.

I told her, all kids are different and learn at different rates, I potty trained my youngest siblings and I though that kid was NEVER going to figure it out lol

Then she said that she doesn't understand why her daughter tries to hide her wet panties.

I told her that my dd gets very upset when she has an accident and that I think it's probably pretty common for kids to get upset, or frustrated or try to hide the fact that they had an accident.

But I had only been talking to her on the phone.

Sils roof caved in on part of her house so she and her daughter Re saying with us (her husband is a truck driver and is out of town).

What I think is odd is that when her daughter has an accident, sil spanks her and tells her "no! That's bad. Very very bad".

Like I said, I have nothing against people who spank, but I just don't think that spanking over an accident during potty training is the way to go. It seems to me that maybe that's why her daughter is trying to hide her panties, because she knows that when her mom finds out she had an accident that she's going to her into trouble.

I thought about telling sil my thoughts but I don't really want to but in.

I know it's her child and her choice.
But just last night she told me she doesn't know what to do with her daughter. I told her they'd only been Woking at potty training for a short time and that it takes a while. I told her its normal, it's a new thing to them and accidents are going to happen.

But honestly, I don't think that the spanking is helping her daughter.
She doesn't do anything to indicate that she needs to potty. She went though every pair of panties she has yesterday, and hid most of them.

I told sil that for the first week with dd I was asking her every 15 minutes I'd she needed to potty and taking her to the potty chair. But she says she doesn't have time to run to the bathroom with her every 15 minutes.

Sil also seems to her very frustrated with it and yell at her daughter.

She also doesn't want to have to wash laundry every day, she says she doesn't have time for it.

I'm really trying to be helpful here. But I don't know how to be without being honest and telling her how I feel about the things shes doing, but at the same time I feel like its not place and I should stay out of it.

What do you think? Would you say something/recommend something? Or just try to completely stay out of it?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM
To each their own. Being harsh about it is what finally made my Dd go to the potty. It wasn't an 'accident' though. She would stand there and pee on herself then tell me to clean her.
gumbeme06
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:09 AM
2 moms liked this
Her child isn't ready for potty training and she's only making it worse. She's making it scary for the child. I might say "it doesn't seem like ___ is quite ready for the potty why not try again when she shows interest"
CarolinaGirl88
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Not sure if I would say anything or not, but I do agree that spanking for accidents isn't the best way to go about it.
TB78
by Tasha on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Sadly i had spanked and yelled at our ds when i was potty training him. My problem was that i was getting pressured by my mil and sil because they believed that he was old enough to know how to go potty since his 4 year old cousin (sil's granddaughter) was fully potty trained.

I would explain to her that her spanking and yelling at her dd is terrifying her because it terrified my son but thankfully he is trained with only a few occasionally midnight accidents which i have tried calming him down and saying in a soothing voice that it was an accident because he had just woken up from a sound sleep and wasn't fully aware what he was doing.

Good luck to you and your sil and her dd in their potty training :-)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM
I would stay out of it unless she asks for advice. Some people take offense when advice is offered.
KaylinC03
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Couldn't agree more. 

Quoting gumbeme06:

Her child isn't ready for potty training and she's only making it worse. She's making it scary for the child. I might say "it doesn't seem like ___ is quite ready for the potty why not try again when she shows interest"


davnrori
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM

 No, I don't spank or yell about accidents. We don't use spanking as a punishment in our house but the kids do get time outs for doing things that are against the rules. However, a potty accident is not against the rules. I get a little frustrated when I DO take my kids to the bathroom every 15 mins and then they pee (my son is 4yrs old so accidents are few and far between but he still gets really involved in playing and will be holding himself, doing the pee-pee dance and STILL tell me he doesn't have to go). But I keep the frustration to myself. Kids don't need that kind of pressure, especially about something that will happen naturally. I mean, a normally developing kid will not be in diapers in kindergarten, right? 

areyouatroll
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:11 AM
3 moms liked this
I would let her know she is doing it all wrong, making it worse, it will take longer etc. And now her daughter will have issues. What a dumbass.
angevil53
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM
I spank but not during potty training.
xomrs.chase
by Ruby Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM
:( poor kid. She's probably not ready. No wonder she hides the panties
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