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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you regret missing out on anything from your past?

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:58 AM
  • 92 Replies
4 moms liked this

The Thing I Regret Most About My Past -- Before I Was a Mom

by Kristen Chase

It's not the destination but the journeyI skipped two grades as a child, and so for most of my life, I was always much younger than everyone else. So I always felt like I had to prove myself. And play "catch-up" to all the older kids.

Sadly, by forcing myself to charge ahead, I missed a lot in the process. And quite often, I wish I had just taken my time and enjoyed life before it passed me by in a blur.

I'm not quite sure why I rushed through everything, from starting college early to finishing college early, taking a full load of classes straight through every summer.

Then I started my internship a few weeks after I graduated, found a job before I was done, and then worked up through leaving for graduate school, which I finished quickly as well.

On one hand, I feel so fortunate to have been afforded so many opportunities as a young person, which led to much professional success.

But on the other, I look back now and wish I had taken my time a bit more. And had more fun.

Okay, A LOT more fun.

I certainly had my fair share of good times, in between classes and working and studying and doing all those things I was doing to try to finish everything early.

There were no spring break trips, however. No long summers spent traipsing through Europe, or working at the local pool as a lifeguard (the cushy, coveted job of my youth).

No "remember that one time, at band camp ..." stories to tell.

And now that summers are just like any other season, I long for the days when I could have partied a little harder, enjoyed myself a little more, and well, lived a little.

I can't rewind my life and add in moments of spontaneity or even a bit of reckless abandon, as much as I'd like to have those memories interspersed with the ones where my head is stuck in a book or taking a test.

But I can live that way now, even in the confines of my life as a working mom to four children. I could live in the past or take the lessons I've learned and apply them to my life as it is.

And I can encourage my children, within reason, to enjoy their lives. To slow down and take in their surroundings. To appreciate the journey along with the destination -- safely and wisely, of course. Here's hoping I don't eat my words later on when my children, all under 9, are teenagers.

Yes, I may be nearing 40, but there's still lots of fun to be had. Perhaps not as spontaneous or as reckless as I imagine I could have been long ago, but fun nonetheless.

Do you regret missing out on anything from your past?

by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 9:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jdy9440
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:00 AM
6 moms liked this
I regret not living on my own before getting married.
IndigoRose
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:02 AM
1 mom liked this

I didn't take the opportunity to visit Scotland when I was in my 20s.  STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!  confused

MrsWallerYea
by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:11 AM

 I didn't go to prom at all because I had a baby at 17 and didn't really have the money for a dress.  Although I could have still went and also got a dress, at the time I was busy proving I am a "grown up" since I had my child young and I don't "need" to go to prom or enjoy childhood anymore.  True but I was given the opportunity to still do these things and I didn't take up on it so I def missed out.  Yea it was only one single night of fun I missed out on but still a memory I will never be able to have.  I regret not going.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:22 AM

I rushed into adulthood. I've missed out a few things but I'm not sure what I would want to do. Mostly, I wish I could go back in time and not date my ex.

garnet83
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:28 AM

There was one relationship that lasted entirely too long. I wish I'd ended it long before I did. I think it might have been nice to live on my own for a while before getting married as well. Other than that, I've been blessed. I've enjoyed life.

 




realsuccessthefamilyialwayswanted.blogspot.com

IndigoRose
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:36 AM



Quoting MrsWallerYea:

 I didn't go to prom at all because I had a baby at 17 and didn't really have the money for a dress.  Although I could have still went and also got a dress, at the time I was busy proving I am a "grown up" since I had my child young and I don't "need" to go to prom or enjoy childhood anymore.  True but I was given the opportunity to still do these things and I didn't take up on it so I def missed out.  Yea it was only one single night of fun I missed out on but still a memory I will never be able to have.  I regret not going.

I didn't go to my senior prom.  I broke up with my steady boyfriend of 2 years right before it.  (He was the one who did the breaking and he took another girl.)  No big thing; he was an ass to do that, anyway.  Good riddance.  

My daughter didn't go to her's.  Nor did my son.  My daughter thinks proms are lame.  But, my son sort of regrets not going to his.  

ruth85
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I really wish I hadnt started having kids so soon.  I was pregnant by our first anniversary and I really wish we had more time when it was just the two of us...we could have had more time to travel and enjoy each other.  Once you have kids, things focus around them and you lose that opportunity to do spur of the moment things.  I cant regret my kids...they are awesome and I adore them...but if I could have the same kids and just waited to have them...yeah.  I would go for that.

I am always telling my daughters that unless they get married very late in life, it is a good idea to not have kids until you have been married for at least 3 or 4 years.  Give yourself some time when it is just the two of you and enjoy each other.

kanakake
by Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:39 AM
2 moms liked this

When I got pregnant with my first child I was 20, I had barely been in the Navy for not even 2 years. Sometimes I wish I would have had more time being on my own. I went from living at home to joining the navy and moving in with my boyfriend a year later and then the baby came and it just feels like it all happened so fast. There was no time of truely being on my own.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:53 AM
I regret waiting till I was 29 to have kids. I'd been married for six years and was trying to "get my career off the ground". I wish I had spent more of my twenties as a Mom.

I also wish I had moved away from my hometown for a few years. Dh had a good job here so we did not move. I feel so disappointed I missed out on living other places. Now we are established here, our parents are getting older and need our help, and we may never get the chance to live anywhere else.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 17, 2013 at 11:06 AM
I wish I would have had stability which is no fault of my own. Wish I would have had a clsose family growing up.

Things I wish I could change that we're up to me. Moving away sooner from my ex. I broke up with him pretty much ever y month. No matter how much I tried to move on or leave he would do crazy crap to scare me back. I tried to date others he would threaten to kill them. Unfortunately I knew very well he wasn't bluffing.

I wish I had never waited for him while he was in the navy. He came back a complete psycho which he wasn't when he left. Wish I would have dated other people while in high school instead of wasting my time on him.

I wish I would have gotten away from all the toxic people in my life sooner. Learned to stand up for myself better. Got counseling something to deal with my inner daemons from my past.

I always thought being out of those situations they would no longer affect me. I am learning that is not true those things are coming out in my choices now and my relationships. My ability to trust is gone. That is no way to live.

So yes I have many regrets and much more than I am writting here.

If you had asked me a couple of months ago maybe I wouldn't have fessed up to many. At this time I am doing some major reflection on my past.
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