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*Updated* Do you judge women who have kids with multiple men?

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:03 AM
  • 979 Replies
21 moms liked this
Stick this post out with me. It's going to be a little long.

First question, do you judge a woman solely based on the fact that she has more than one 'baby daddy'?


I have children with 2 men. My 2 older daughters were from a relationship I started when I was 18. I had my first at age 20 and my second when I was 22. He was in the military, went on a tour soon after our second daughter was born and came back with major PTSD. The relationship turned abusive, both mentally and physically. I left him when I was 24.

I then started dating a guy who I have known since we were 13. We were always friends but started a relationship when I was 26. About 9 months into the relationship we got married and found out we were expecting soon after. Unfortunately though, when I was pregnant, I found out he had been sleeping with an ex girlfriend. I felt completely blind sides and devastated and tried my best to keep the relationship going. After weighing everything out, I decided I couldn't be with someone who would cheat on me. Our divorce was finalized last year.

I was single for a year. And out of no where I met a really genuine guy. We are taking things much slower than my past relationship have gone and have been dating about 7 months now. What worries me is that he says he wants kids. Any girl that he marries or stays with would have to be willing to bear his children because he wants children of his own. Fair enough, right?

I have always wanted a lot of children.


But I know the things people (family and friends) have already said about me. Things like, 'she already has kids with 2 guys and she's just moving into the next one.' It hurts and I have a hard time coming to terms with it. Just because I have had failed relationships in the past, does that mean I no longer deserve a chance to find love, marry someone, and *GASP* have more kids with him? In the end it will only matter what I decide is good for me, but I see this judgement thrown around a lot.

What's your first thought when you hear of a woman who has multiple 'baby daddies'?


***update***

I read through all 800+ replies (ill admit I skipped some, 800 is a lot.)

While I see that most of you have disagreed with my lifestyle, if really like to address those women who came in here, through out a derogatory name, under anonymous, and left.

Slut, breeder, ratchet hoe, classless, hoe, whore, desperate, trashy, crazy, low rent trailer trash...

So yeah, how am I all these things? I won't bore you with details but my children are supported by my income from a full time job, I *own* my house, my car, and *OMG* I did it withOUT help from the government. Without any form of public assistance!!

So again, what makes me trashy? Oh the fact that I have the evidence of *2* men that I slept with walking next to me? Or is it that I had the guts to actually keep my children and not abort them?

Lets all take a step back and be a little honest with ourselves. Majority of you had sex with more than one guy. And if a lot of your husbands knew how many men you have all pulled your panties down for, he would probably think a bit less of you. Just because some of you didn't haven't children result from these sexual encounters, doesn't mean you any greater of a woman than me or other women who decided to keep their 'mistakes'(as so many of you referred to them as)

Just because some of us have children with different guys, does not make us classless or 'hoes'. As a matter of fact, I'm almost certain the number of guys I have slept with is substantially lower than most of yours.

But I'm the classless one. Makes sense.
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:06 AM
59 moms liked this
Not with two men, mistakes happen

With 3 or more, yes. How many more times are you going to make the same mistake?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:06 AM
32 moms liked this
You have reason for it. When the woman is just sleeping around with anyone and popping out kids with each one(like my sister), yes I judge.
Sister.Menses
by Silver Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:06 AM

Too long, but I try not to.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:06 AM
Sure do.
Angela_Barlow
by Platinum Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:07 AM
3 moms liked this
I have 5 children. 4 with my ex(married for 20 years) and a child with my new husband.

I do judge if you have a different father for each child.
southern.momof2
by Pirate on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:07 AM
8 moms liked this
Nope. I have 2 children with 2 men.
melonieb
by Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:07 AM
32 moms liked this

i have 3 baby daddys. they are not in my kids lives, nor do i get child support. my hubby has step up and raised my kids and he claims them as his own. he has two baby mamas. i dont judge at all and i dont care if someone judges me. accidents happen for a reason and so do bad relationships, but all my kids are blessings. i have been married to my hubby for almost seven years.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:07 AM
3 moms liked this

This


Quoting Anonymous:

Not with two men, mistakes happen

With 3 or more, yes. How many more times are you going to make the same mistake?



highlandmum
by Spunky on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:08 AM
5 moms liked this

 Not when it is only two different fathers, but when you are talking about 4 plus children with 4 plus fathers and I guess I would judge a little.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 18, 2013 at 9:08 AM
4 moms liked this
I know people's lives change visa versa. But yea I kinda do judge people with multiple men as fathers of kids. It's so classless and says a lot about a person.
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