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How do you tell someone NO without being RUDE?!

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:45 AM
  • 84 Replies
2 moms liked this

 I have a friend and HER MOM who are constantly asking me for a ride here and there. I dont mind doing that BUT they ask late at night when I've already put my kids to bed and I'm trying to relax to finally go to sleep myself!

I've had to tell them NO the past TWO nights b/c I have to get up at 545 in the morning to get the kids off to daycare and go to these classes I'm taking.

They KNOW that I take these classes but still continue to ask me! I'm to the point i just want to turn my phone off or change my number or even THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!!

They also owe me money and agreed to pay me back asap I think that if they DONT pay me back I will no longer speak to them and most likely change my number so they cant bug me!!

SO how do you tell them NO without sounding like youre making up a bunch of LAME excuses and not being RUDE?!

by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MooseMomma
by Gold Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this
You just say "I'm sorry but I can't right now." You are the one doing them a favor, they are rude for asking you at such a late hour.
Pink.Frosting
by Platinum Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

With people like that, you just have to be blunt.  Period.  It's the only way some people will get the point.

MonkeyPeanut79
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM
4 moms liked this

I read this website etiquettehell.com and she says to just say 'I'm sorry I cannot accommodate your request' and leave it at that. You don't have to explain either. She calls it having a 'polite spine' :)

Marimaru
by Silver Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM
8 moms liked this

Well, first of all, keep in mind that no matter what you tell them, they are likely to think you are being rude.

That said, I think it's perfectly reasonable to say "Look, I can't take you anywhere after my kids in bed.  I can't take you anywhere after X time on evenings when I have to be up for class the next morning.  Whether or not I can take you anywhere between those times, really depends on what's going on, but I'm not going to be taking you anywhere else until you pay me back the money you owe me, and I'm going to start charging you for gas when I do give you rides.  I'm sorry, but I'm not a taxi service, and my time is valuable."

msb64
by Gold Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM

"No.  I'm sorry.  I can't tonight."  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM

No matter how you say no you are going to come of rude to them.  Just tell them no and move on.

LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:50 AM

Tell them no more rides in general till you are paid back. And no more rides after 5 PM.

MamaDee2Bee
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:50 AM

 yeah the other night the mom was like please please i need my blood pressure medicine i'm REALLYY sick please!! It made me feel bad and then worried that if something happened to her that I'd be the one to blame! The thing is they live a/b20mins away out in the country and the rd to their house is dark and i have problems seeing in the dark! they expect me to just lock up my house leave the kids sleeping and do what they want!! I cant do that TOO many things could go wrong with the kids being there alone and neighbors are SUPER NOSEY

LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:51 AM

I like this one.

Quoting Marimaru:

Well, first of all, keep in mind that no matter what you tell them, they are likely to think you are being rude.

That said, I think it's perfectly reasonable to say "Look, I can't take you anywhere after my kids in bed.  I can't take you anywhere after X time on evenings when I have to be up for class the next morning.  Whether or not I can take you anywhere between those times, really depends on what's going on, but I'm not going to be taking you anywhere else until you pay me back the money you owe me, and I'm going to start charging you for gas when I do give you rides.  I'm sorry, but I'm not a taxi service, and my time is valuable."





mrsbrand
by Platinum Member on Jul. 18, 2013 at 11:52 AM
That's not going to be possible, but good luck with finding alternative transportation.
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