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Just because someone is SAHM doesn't mean they are a devoted mom

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In my own personal experience, I have found both working and SAHM can suck, are lazy, shitty parenting, drug or alcohol abuse so forth.

I will say however, when I ran my program for over 20 years, it was the WORKING MOMS that found time to devote and volunteer time to time.... The SAHM were lazy and always had lame excuses.

~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

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by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 12:43 PM
Replies (211-220):
by Anonymous 46 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:28 AM

I'll admit, I never volunteer.  By the time my son got up to school years, I'd already made plenty of other social obligations.  I do send in extra stuff whenever I can, and I told the teachers if they ever needed someone to fill in to call me.  I did get called a few times when a chauffer missed a field trip.

I agree, working or SAHM, you have to be the one to make your children a priority.  Sometimes when life gets busy, I can be home with my children all day and hardly interact with them.  I don't like those days, but thankfully they don't happen often.  Sometimes days like that are unavoidable, no matter what you do.

by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:28 AM

Sure there are lazy, shitty, druggie SAHMs just as there are lazy, shitty, druggie working moms.  Working or staying at home obviously doesn't define you as a parent.

I sometimes work on a contract basis but for the majority of time I am a SAHM.  I do a lot of volunteer work but always for adult organizations rather than at my kids' school or their activities.  I see kids and parents all the time and like having interaction outside that circle.  In our community I think volunteer work is done by a mix of SAHMs and working moms.  But I know that the SAHMs are always called first when help is needed simply because the assumption is that we have a more flexible schedule.

by Loree on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:40 AM
That was your perception and I bet it wasn't jaded at all.
by Anonymous 47 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this
Doubtful. She is at work, so the kids are riding busses and getting dropped off by the sitter....

Quoting thetrollcat:

meanwhile the working mom does all that plus work and still volunteer....

Quoting areyouatroll:

Maybe sahm are busy doing other things. A lot of the sahm I know already have a shit ton to do. They can't volunteer for little suzies show choir, get Jake to all soccer practices, take peter to therapy, be the team mom for Edgar, and do even one of the million other things people ask of sahm.... because they think, why not, all she does is watch her own kids, she won't mind...

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:41 AM

I think people need to keep something in mind. You are in a different mind set when you are a sahm and when you are a working mom.

Since my son was born, I've been a sahm but I've also had to periods of time when I worked and now I am a full time student. During school months I am more active. I'm always on the go. And during the summer I am more lazy.

I think when you work, you are in the mind set of, whats coming next. What's the next thing that needs to get down.

I think when you are a sahm you are more like, the dishes are done, house is clean, kids are down for a nap, now it's time for a little me time.

This is just from my personal experince.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:41 AM
Well if I was a working mom and had someone to watch my kid and I dIdnt get to spend time with them I'll be devoted also, I'd do anything to make up the time...being a sahm can be draining and exhausting..are you or have you ever been a sahm? I'm not excusing those mothers who are sahm and are lazy because at times I get lazy but you can't put all sahm and working moms in one category and say they are this way or that way..I know working moms who are more devoted to their jobs tha. Their kids..
by Anonymous 48 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:42 AM

I agree with some of what you say. I know plenty of lazy SAHM that aren't good parents. I know plenty of working moms who are so focused on themselves they can't fine a second to even notice that there child needs them. My guess is you have only been around a select few SAHMs. 

I myself and a SAHM and homeschool my children, you bet I'm involved in my child's life since I'm there teacher and parent. I involve them in activities and get involved. I also had a friend who has 3 beautiful boys who works and honestly if for her random comment here and there about working you wouldn't ever know because she is so devoted to her family and her kids. The only reason she is a working mother is because they need the income. I also had a friend who was a SAHM and she couldn't do it, she was constantly complaining about how she never got "me time" her house was a wreck (this is coming from a mother who's house is pretty messy most of the time) but hers was disgusting! Dog urine every where, pizza boxes and soda cans all over the ground, dirty diapers. You could barely walk into her house. This was when she was a SAHM, then she went back to work and left her daughter and still complained about how she never had enough money while get mani, pedis and buying new clothes every time she went out. She barely talked about her daughter and always took the easiest way out. It was shocking.

So......both can be lazy, but most of my friends are SAHM's and I wouldn't consider them lazy. I know very few friends who are working moms and most of them are selfish bitches. But I don't think that's true of most working mom, just the few I've met are like that.

by Anonymous 49 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:49 AM
I'm a WAHM. Not lazy but keeping up with a full time job and full time child/house care doesn't leave me time for much else. BUT if its something for my kid, I make time whenever possible.
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:51 AM
I am far from lazy, but i refuse to join the PTA. Doesnt mean i am lazy though. Prior to moving to this post, i volunteered with the red cross on post and very active in the FRG. Here, i am attending college to advance my career along with taking care of a new baby. The the older 2 do try amd help on occasion. I get together with other SAHM for playdates and BBQs on the weekends. The kids live the get togethers and its nice to socialize with other adults
by Anonymous 50 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:53 AM

I agree with you i do know some stay at home moms that are very lazy, I am also a stay at home mom and i did go to my sons school and help when i could this past year but i also was pregnant while helping and was on modified bed rest or i would have been there more then i was can wait til this year i will be helping as much as i can again and even more ( even with my almost 5 month old when they go back to school)

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