Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my son is still a teen and has 2 toddlers.....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

he's only 19,he moved with his dad 3 years ago...and his dad jumps from place to place because of work,well for the last 3 years he's been in hawaii,my ds told me he had a gf,she was from scottland. well today i just found out he had kids with this girl,2 boys and shes pregnant again(the boys are 10 months apart,they both turn 2 this year). why his dad never told me he was having children is beyond me,why ds never told me is beyond me also,im really hurt that i never knew this was going on.....other then the kids idk what else is going on with him,idk if he has a job or if he's living with his dad anymore or anything like that......iv tried calling and ds wont tell me anything,so iv been saving up to fly over there in a couple months.....i dont even know what to think right now........

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 18, 2013 at 2:22 PM
Replies (101-110):
GaleJ
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:41 PM
That's not fair! Hawaii is a very long way away and it is expensive to get there and once she's there she would have to have someplace to stay, more cost, since it seems unlikely she would stay with her ex. She may simply not have the financial resources.


Quoting Jennyanne322:

So you haven't seen your son is basically 3 years now? Maybe if you time for him, he would make time for you.

cheetah90210
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Quoting SageAdvice:

 I apologize for being rude to you. Doesn't change the fact that I think she's a crappy Mother. It also doesn't change the fact that she has changed her story more than once ( goodness a lot of replies went poof ) and then rewrote the whole OP to make herself appear more sympathetic.


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting SageAdvice:


 1 child -- OK maybe for a few months, but multiple children?  If he was ashamed he wouldn't have let it happen again...BUT  If it makes you feel better to think that, go a head.



*SMH and walks away laughing



Quoting cheetah90210:

I read the replies and she said she seen him every other month until he was 18 and that was her last time seeing him. did you ever think maybe he was to embarrassed or ashamed to tell his mother? She said she set rules for him he didn't like them a went with dad at 16 , the rules she said weren't that bad he just wanted to do what he wanted to do, and dad works so much he could do that with him. He probably felt it would be a let down for his mom because it may not have happened had he stayed.




Quoting SageAdvice:



 Maybe but it's true - he's now 19 and while some children will sometimes block their parents out of their lives for short periods of time - most will let them know they are grandparents, even if they never wish to see them again. Makes one wonder what she did to alienatehim so deeply. Plus in 3 years did she not go see him, have anything to do with his life? FFS what kind of mother is that? Children ( and all their stuff and messes ) are damn hard to hide and I seriously doubt he kept them locked in a basement!




Quoting cheetah90210:

That was mean , that's her son and her grandchildren wouldn't you feel sad if your child didn't even tell you they had a children specially when he had his first at 16. That's a little hurtful





Quoting SageAdvice:




 Maybe cause it's not really any of your business now.





 




 








I'm giving an opinion based off of what she said neither you nor I know there relationship, and we deff can't speak for her son so at this point neither one of our opinion is right nor wrong its just an opinion. But you're just rude, about it we don't have to agree.

 





yeah I understand your point moms deff not innocent, just trying to think based off what she said what could be his reason. But this deff could never be my son and I ,so I'm just confused.
SageAdvice
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:43 PM

 It also doesn't change the fact that she has changed her story more than once ( goodness a lot of replies went poof ) and then rewrote the whole OP to make herself appear more sympathetic.

She's a crappy mother IMO and it's my right to say that - She posted it out here in an open forum, didn't like what people had to say and then started back tracking. .

Quoting GaleJ:

Many families have had damaged relationships in the wake of divorce. Sometimes there are justifiable reasons, sometimes it is the result of one or both parents continuing the fighting through the children, and sometimes it is the unresolved feelings and inability of children to accept their parents' divorce. It isn't fair to place blame when you can't know the details.


Quoting SageAdvice:

 Right! but he's now 19 and it's his business and he must have reasons for keeping you unaware of what's going on in his life! Seems to me if you had any kind of loving - caring - motherly relationship with your SON he would have told you before now! That says a lot about YOU.


Quoting Anonymous:


 


Quoting SageAdvice:


 Maybe cause it's not really any of your business now.


are you fucking kidding me? he was barely 16 when he got her pregnant the first time


 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:43 PM
It sounds like he doesn't really want you to be a part of his family. I'm guessing he didn't leave you on good terms.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:46 PM
This post just makes me sad just thinking my husband and I are ttc with 2 miscarriages, and your teen has 3 children.
GrinningCheese
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:49 PM
Um ... okay don't know what to say.
scarygirl
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:57 PM
Is he afraid to disappoint you?


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting crysiann:

Maybe he was afraid to tell you. I don't know...do you talk to him? I am sorry you are going through this! It has to be heart breaking to know you are missing out on your grandchildren's life. I hope everything works out for you, and you will have a chance to meet your grandchildren.

yeah we always talked,idk why he never told me about them


bellawomen
by Summer on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:02 PM
I disagree. I haven't spoken to my mom since I was 15. I became emancipated and moved out. I owe her NOTHING. She has never seen my son and I never announced to her I was pregnant. She doesn't get to know those things.

However, in OP's situation, the FATHER should have told OP about their son expecting babies. The burden was not solely on the OP's son. I would be having a talk with the dad. What else did he hide?


Quoting hburnette3:

yes it is! He is her son and they are her grandchildren! If they are not on speaking terms he should have at least dropped her a letter or email.


Quoting SageAdvice:

 Maybe cause it's not really any of your business now.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:41 PM
I never rewrote anything and just gave more details in the post

Quoting SageAdvice:

 I apologize for being rude to you. Doesn't change the fact that I think she's a crappy Mother. It also doesn't change the fact that she has changed her story more than once ( goodness a lot of replies went poof ) and then rewrote the whole OP to make herself appear more sympathetic.


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting SageAdvice:


 1 child -- OK maybe for a few months, but multiple children?  If he was ashamed he wouldn't have let it happen again...BUT  If it makes you feel better to think that, go a head.



*SMH and walks away laughing



Quoting cheetah90210:

I read the replies and she said she seen him every other month until he was 18 and that was her last time seeing him. did you ever think maybe he was to embarrassed or ashamed to tell his mother? She said she set rules for him he didn't like them a went with dad at 16 , the rules she said weren't that bad he just wanted to do what he wanted to do, and dad works so much he could do that with him. He probably felt it would be a let down for his mom because it may not have happened had he stayed.




Quoting SageAdvice:



 Maybe but it's true - he's now 19 and while some children will sometimes block their parents out of their lives for short periods of time - most will let them know they are grandparents, even if they never wish to see them again. Makes one wonder what she did to alienatehim so deeply. Plus in 3 years did she not go see him, have anything to do with his life? FFS what kind of mother is that? Children ( and all their stuff and messes ) are damn hard to hide and I seriously doubt he kept them locked in a basement!




Quoting cheetah90210:

That was mean , that's her son and her grandchildren wouldn't you feel sad if your child didn't even tell you they had a children specially when he had his first at 16. That's a little hurtful





Quoting SageAdvice:




 Maybe cause it's not really any of your business now.





 




 








I'm giving an opinion based off of what she said neither you nor I know there relationship, and we deff can't speak for her son so at this point neither one of our opinion is right nor wrong its just an opinion. But you're just rude, about it we don't have to agree.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Most likely

Quoting scarygirl:

Is he afraid to disappoint you?




Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting crysiann:

Maybe he was afraid to tell you. I don't know...do you talk to him? I am sorry you are going through this! It has to be heart breaking to know you are missing out on your grandchildren's life. I hope everything works out for you, and you will have a chance to meet your grandchildren.

yeah we always talked,idk why he never told me about them


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN