Really? You Just Moved In And You Are Already Trying To Be ****Recipe Added In Orange****
I swear to God this is not a troll. You cannot make up something this stupid.
We have new neighbors that just moved in two houses down. They moved early this morning and, when I looked at the mail a little while ago, I found this letter in my mailbox.
Dear New Neighbor(s),
We are the new residents at [insert address here]. My name is [Insert name] and I have moved in with my wife [her name] and our son [child's name] who will be eight next week and will be starting third grade at [insert school name] at the beginning of the year. As I was driving through the area and I saw you outside with your family. I noticed that you have children around the same age as my son. I hope that they can be friends and that we can become great friends as well. We will be having a birthday party for him next weekend and we would like you and your children to attend in hopes that our son can make some new friends before he starts school.
However, there is a small favor that I must ask. As I was driving past your house, I noticed that you have several large dogs that you do not keep leashed. I am not aware of the leash laws in this city but I am sure that you are in violation. My son was attacked by a pit bull as a toddler and he is deathly afraid of them. Even the sight of a large dog will make him scream. I would appreciate it if you would make sure that your dogs are not visible from the street, especially from 4pm to 6pm when my family will be taking our daily walk. Please understand that I am not asking you to keep your dogs inside all day. Any of these options will work for us.
A) Chain them in the rear of the house or barn.
B) Build a fence in the rear of the house or barn.
C) Lock them in your barn.
D) Walk them on a leash in your back yard and then bring them back inside.
Whatever you choose will be fine for us, as long as they are not visible from the street. I am sending similar letter to your other neighbors so that they can accommodate as well. I do not want to start off on the wrong foot but, if there is a problem and your dogs frighten my child I will be calling animal control. We had to move from our last home because the neighbors refused to accommodate our child. Let's try to get along as best we can, now that we are neighbors.
First of all, in the county I live in, the leash laws do not apply in my yard. Animals do not have to be on the leash as long as they are in the yard. He is claiming that I am in violation of laws that he knows nothing about. I have a huge property and I do have a fence but it was built for horses and does not keep the dogs in. The dogs are trained to stay in the yard and are rarely outside unless I am with them. I was all set to be their friend and invite them over for a barbecue and let their son play with my kids until I read that last part. I can't believe that they are giving US options of what we can do with our dogs on our property! As he said, I have three large dogs (Black lab, Collie, and a Redbone hound) and a smaller terrier mix. They cannot stay cooped up in the house all day. They need exercise. I am not building a fence and I am not keeping them chained. We are violating no laws so there is no reason to call animal control. I have a small farm with dogs, cats, and two horses and it is visible from their yard. My dogs are very gentle, especially with children. I wrote them this letter back and I am sending it to their house tomorrow. Tell me how you think I did and if it sounds too bitchy.
Dear New Neighbors,
Allow me to first say welcome to the neighborhood. I would love to be friends and for our children to be friends. I have three daughters who are eight, five, and almost two and I have a son on the way. I am sure that they would love to be friends with your son and make him feel more comfortable at his new school. My two older children will be attending the same school and my oldest will be in the same grade. Hopefully they will be in the same class. I myself am a kindergarten teacher there and I will be happy to help your son adjust in anyway I can. I know how helpful it is for a child to have friends on his first day of school. My oldest is very good about taking the new students under her wing. We would also love to attend your son's party. Just give us the details.
However, in regards to the favor that you asked, I am afraid that I cannot accommodate. The leash laws in this county say that dogs may be loose as long as they are in their owners control. If I were you, I would make sure that I knew the laws before I started threatening to enforce them. My dogs are very friendly and I am sure that there will not be a problem. If your son would like, he can come over and meet them. Maybe if he meets some friendly dogs he will learn not to be afraid of them. I myself have been bitten by a pit bull and I am sure that it can be very traumatizing for to a toddler. While I was getting my education degree, I took several child psychology courses and we learned that isolating children from things that they fear only make them more afraid. If your son cannot stand the sight of dogs and you are not willing to help him get used to them, you should keep him away from them. Please understand that we are not asking you to keep your son in the house all day. Any of these options will work for us.
A) Keep him in your back yard so that he does not have to see them.
B) Take your walks late at night or early in the morning when no one is awake and their dogs are inside.
C) Allow your child to get used to dogs in a safe environment so that he can adjust.
Whatever you choose will be alright with us. You can send as many letters to my neighbors as you want but I doubt that they will be willing to accommodate. The entire neighborhood is not going to keep their dogs out of sight so that your son doesn't have to see them. I do not want to start off on the wrong foot either but it seems like you are determined to. Calling animal control for frivolous reasons can cause you receive a fine. I do not want to see that happen when you are so new to the neighborhood. You can move all you want to but you are not going to force people to comply with your demands when they violate their rights. I do hope that we can be friends but I refuse to keep my animals locked or chained up or pay for a fence that I do not need so that your child will not be frightened by the sight of my dogs.
Just so you know, I had another neighbor make a similar request a few years ago and I refused to accomdate her as well. Three years ago, a man with a knife tried to break into her house and my dogs chased him away, quite possibly saving the lives of her, her husband, and her children. Now, she loves them and even asked me to help her pick out a dog of her own. You are right. We should try to get along as best we can now that we are neighbors. I am willing if you are willing.
So what do you think? I tried to be as nice as I could but It makes me mad that they are not only giving us our options for what we can do on our property but the are threatening us. I am all for trying to be friends and I know that this isn't the child's fault so I will ask my kids to be nice to him. I have every intention of being friendly and I hope that this polite letter will discourage any annoyance.
I am sitting outside waiting for them to walk by. I have decided to try and speak to them before resorting to letter writing. It is 5o'clock and I have been out here for an hour. All of the dogs are inside. Reading the letter again, I decided that I was a bit hormonal and I did not want to sound so bitchy. I plan to have a calm and rational discussion and see if we can work something out.
I sat outside on the porch and waited for them to walk by. I saw them and waved and they waved back. I walked to the edge of the driveway and he looked around and asked if my dogs were in the house. I said that they were for now but I needed to talk to him. I introduced myself and they introduced themselves. I welcomed them to the neighborhood and told them that my oldest would be in the same grade. I told them that I would be a teacher at his school. The parents asked a few questions about the school and the teachers. The little boy asked if we were coming to his birthday party and I said that we were planning on it. He was just as sweet and polite as he could be. We chatted for a little while and then I brought up the dogs. I told them that I got their letter and I was sorry but I could not accomodate. This is where it gets funny. His wife turned to him and said "You sent that? I told you not to! I told you that it would only cause problems. You don't know what the laws are around here and you can't ask them to keep their dogs locked up." He ignored her and asked why and I said that the law in this county said that dogs were allowed to be loose in the yard. I told them that my dogs do not leave the yard without my permission but he replied with "So you say." His wife took a step back. She knew this was about to get ugly. I told him that I am not interested in an arguement.
I offered to allow their child to meet our dogs and he kind of shrank back a little so I talked to him instead of the parents. I told him that my dogs were very gentle and friendly with children and he could meet them one at a time, starting with the smaller dog. I told him that I was sorry that another dog hurt him but he couldn't spend his whole life being afraid of dogs because dogs were everywhere. Wouldn't he rather get over his fear so he could be happy? He kind of looked up at his mother and asked me how big my little dog was. I said "About this tall," and held my hand up to my knees. He looked up at his mom again and asked if he could just meet the small dog. His father started to argue but his mother said yes. I invited them to sit on the porch and I brought Sandy, the poodle terrier mix, out on a leash. She approched him slowly, wagging her tail and he hid behind his mother. She leaned over and called Sandy and petted her and picked her up and set her in her lap. The little boy kind of petted her on the head. She told me that she had tried for years to get him a dog so he wouldn't be afraid but her husband (glares at him) insisted on coddling him instead of letting him face his fear. She put Sandy down and Sandy approched him again and sat down in front of him. He petted her and asked if she did any tricks. I said yes and made her sit, lie down, roll over, beg, dance, shake, and play dead. I told him that, if he really wanted to see some cool tricks he should meet my collie. He said maybe another day.
My husband and the kids came out to say hello and the little boy asked to see the horses (who were in their stalls) and my two older kids took him to the barn (I can see into the barn from the front porch). The wife appoligized profusely about the letter and she said that she told her husband not to say anything to the neighbors. She said that they would appolgize to the other neighbors. I think the husband is in BIG trouble when he gets home. The kids hit it off great and the wife thought my 20 month old was just as cute as she could be. She informed them that mommy had a baby in her belly so we talked about the baby. They told me that they were TTC. It started getting dark so they had to go but we invited them over tomorrow for a cookout. He said that maybe he could meet another dog tomorrow. The mother told me that he was really upset about leaving their old home so close to his birthday and he was upset that he couldn't have a party with his old friends but he was hoping to make new friends. She thanked my kids for being so nice.
It was all a little anti-climactic but I'm hoping that we don't have any other problems. I don't need the drama. They seemed pretty nice so hopefully that is the last problem we have. He seems a little shy with Sandy but he did pet her and didn't run away screaming. I take this as a good sign. He asked my kids if they were afraid of dogs and they said no.
The little boy came over before the cookout to ask if we had peanut allergies because his mother was making Reeses cheesecake. I didn't know he was coming over so the dogs followed me to the door (crime problem to the area. Dogs always follow me to the door if I am not expecting someone). He backed up so I told the dogs to go lay down and went out on the porch to talk to him. When I got outside, he laughed and said that my dog looked like Lassie (the collie of course). I told him that her name was Maggie. He told me that he had a friend named Maggie and that her real name was Margaret. I told him that my Maggie was short for Magdelyn (her AKC name is Lady Magdelyn Baby Girl). He asked his question about the peanut allergies and then asked if he could see Sandy again. I brought her out and held her in my arms and sat on the chair so he could pet her. He patted her on the head and she licked his hand and he laughed.
They came for the barbecue a little later (fyi the Resess cheese cake was fucking amazing! I am now in love with this woman!). We all hung out on the porch and the kids played in the yard. I had the horses in the pasture but I did warn him about Sparks, my appaloosa, because she was abused and is skittish. I told them just to stay out of the pasture so they stood on the fence and my 5 year old called Willow to the fence so they could pet her. I brought them carrots to feed the horses while we started cooking hamburgers. The little boy asked if Sandy could come out and I brought her out on the leash and he waited for her to approach him and he petted her. I let my kids carry the leash while they played and later she ended up off the leash. She ran around with the kids and he was fine.
After we ate, I asked him if he wanted to try and meet Maggie. He asked if she was as nice as Sandy and I told her she was nicer. He said ok and I brought Maggie out on the leash. I told her to lie down and stay and he sat in a chair a few feet away from her. His mother got up and held her hand out for her to sniff. Maggie wagged her tail and let the mother pet her. He approached her slowly and held out his hand for her to sniff. She licked his hand and he patted her on the head and then took a couple of steps back. She wagged her tail and he petted her again. He seemed to like Maggie but still wasn't comfortable with her running around with them so I put her back in the house. The kids had a lot of fun and the parents were nice. The father apologized for sending the letters and he has been apologizing to the neighbors, per his wife's orders (lol). It went pretty well and I think that this is going to be a positive thing. He seems uncomfortable with me but he and my husband started talking about men stuff so I think they are cool.
We have left over Reeses cheescake and I am waiting for the kids to go to be so I can finish it. I need to get the recipe from her. This stuff is orgasmic!
She got the recipe from the Hershey's Recipe website. She emailed me the link.
I don't know how to make it clicky. Just highlight and right click.