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I don't want to marry him cause I'll have to pay alimony for his ex wife if something happens to him

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 136 Replies

I had a post while back asking about if my credit would be affected if I marry my boyfriend. Since he has poor credit cause he couldn't make payments on time due to his ex having money garnished from his checks for alimony. They have no kids together and we have one son. I talked to a lawyer from avvo.com and they said if I marry him, not only will his debt will be my debt, but I'll practically be gaining his ex wife too. My boyfriend has to pay alimony for a lifetime, not 6 years btw to correct myself. So if something happens to him, heart starts to fail him. accident at work that leaves him disabled, anything at all that prevents him from earning a paycheck, I'll be responsible for continuing the alimony payments. I know it's not fair, but then again life itself isn't fair. I love this man with all my heart, no one has ever treated me so good. Last thing I need is for him to end up in jail for failure of alimony payments. An 80 year old man with Alztimeers was sent to jail, listen to this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAs8S0LxNRE

I know that's a totally different issue but regardless, proof that shows how some women continue to be vindicitive well into their 80s for money. Anyway, we decided to have power of attorney papers drawn up and notorized. Only for healthcare, not for finances. I don't want to have a court battle with his ex fighting for money that she's entitled to, not for my son when my son can receive money for my life insurance/401K only. My boyfriend is deeply saddened that he can never call me his wife, especially since I never been married and have no idea what it's like. But I tell him it's for the best, at least we still have each other and our son. First wives always win every battle, it's the way society is. Any wives afterward, second third, etc. always get the short end of the stick. Unless the first wife is passed away and then hopefully that first wife's family doesn't fight for money entitlements too but so far I don't know whose done that and have succeeded yet.

http://www.padivorceonline.com/papages/Alimony/alimony.asp  <----It does exist in my state. Permanent alimony, not lying people.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:09 AM

when my sister married her new hubby, her ex hubbys irs debt followed her and the new hubby

bleumonster
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:09 AM
I've never heard of that. Wow.
mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:10 AM

I would probably do the same thing. 

JamesMom714
by Platinum Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:11 AM
5 moms liked this
The lawyer you talked to was an idiot. Any debt he obtained in his name is HIS and his only, whether opened before or after marriage. Any debt you open jointly would be both of yours.

Alimony is also on him and him only. You have no legal obligation to pay his debts or his alimony.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:13 AM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

when my sister married her new hubby, her ex hubbys irs debt followed her and the new hubby

 Wow. I'd figure when you're done with that marriage if there's debt, it's split between the two getting divorced but then the new spouse shouldn't be a part of that debt.

wooly
by Knitting Maniac on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:14 AM
2 moms liked this

 There is no way you would ever be responsible for Alimony to his ex wife! Someone is feeding you a line of bull. Neither is Alimony ever Granted for someone's lifetime.  I don't know what kind of Atty you talked to, but I think someone paid him to tell you a bunch of lies.

AlohaTink
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Lifetime alimony?

I call shenanigans.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:14 AM

 

Quoting JamesMom714:

The lawyer you talked to was an idiot. Any debt he obtained in his name is HIS and his only, whether opened before or after marriage. Any debt you open jointly would be both of yours.

Alimony is also on him and him only. You have no legal obligation to pay his debts or his alimony.

 Alimony technically is a debt if he would fall behind and then they will see he's remarried and there's income coming in from the wife and so they will go after her for payments.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:15 AM

 

Quoting AlohaTink:

Lifetime alimony?

I call shenanigans.

 No. It may not exist where you;re from, but in my state there still is lifetime alimony, PA.

TiffanyRose06
by Queso<3 on Jul. 20, 2013 at 9:16 AM
At least you'e protecting yourself and your child, you're being smart

I'm lucky my husband's ex wife left and never looked back. Their divorce was peaceful (no kids either)
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