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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Too little..too late? Idk wtf to do..

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:47 PM
  • 24 Replies

May be long, but PLEASE read.. id love some advice..

SO and I have been together for almost 4 years and have a 20 month old together. After our m/c (before our baby) things started to kind of.., not be so great. I started asking for more help around the house, to be interactive with the kids (I have one from a previous relationship), just to be more 'husband-y'. Nothing. We've had numerous amount of talks. I've poured my heart out to him several times. I explained how GREATFUL we were for his job, but how much we needed him at home too. He would seriously get off work at 3pm, sleep until the kids went to bed at 8pm, eat his plate of dinner in the living room and watch TV. He never played with the kids, house work and yard work were all my responsibility, even while working 30 hours a week. 

Many arguments, sleepless nights, hurt feelings later, I decided my girls and I deserved better. Started to save and work on my credit to get our own place. I wasn't interested in sex with SO, I stopped waiting up for him, trying to include him in anything we were doing (it was always a no. For pretty much EVERYTHING)etc. my mind is basically made up, I'm done.

Now he's changing. He's been playing with the girls a little more, not yelling at my DD like before, and he's trying to be affectionate and show me he loves me. Normally, after our talks he'd 'change' for a day, it's been two weeks of the same good stuff. He's actually being helpful and loving. 

But I don't have the same feelings. I feel like he's just doing this to get laid. (And I've told him that before. Of course he gets mad) I feel like its been two years of me begging for a change, like its too late now. Like my heart isn't in it. But I feel like I owe it to my youngest to try.. I just don't know. 

Any advice??

by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lovebugbaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:48 PM

I feel like I said 'like' about a dozen times in the last paragraph. LOL

Lovebugbaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:53 PM

Bump..

Lovebugbaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:55 PM

Bump

lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:55 PM

 Do you love him ? that would be my deciding factor. I would work on it if you do. Watch and see is he really has changed or cut him loose. Tell him in all honesty you fell out of love and don't think it will come back.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

RobJar
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Of your not in it....go!!
LitNut
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:00 PM

Well, if you still want to try and you think that there might be a chance that you can fall back in love with him then maybe counselling would be the way to go. 

Lovebugbaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:01 PM

I honestly don't think I do. Two years doesn't seem like that much, but living it day to day was rough. There were times I cried when he came home, I was just sick of it. I just don't want to hurt him

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

 Do you love him ? that would be my deciding factor. I would work on it if you do. Watch and see is he really has changed or cut him loose. Tell him in all honesty you fell out of love and don't think it will come back.


Lovebugbaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:02 PM

I keep thinking though, what about DD like I should give it a try for her. But I just, idk.

Quoting RobJar:

Of your not in it....go!!


Lovebugbaby
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:03 PM

Unfortunately, he won't do counseling. No matter how much I beg. He says they will only take our money and side with me. 

Quoting LitNut:

Well, if you still want to try and you think that there might be a chance that you can fall back in love with him then maybe counselling would be the way to go. 


cakbr
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:06 PM
He realizes that you have been pushed to your limit... And knows that if he didn't change, he would lose you.
So maybe he truly got the wake up call.
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