Me: "So, I had an unfortunate incident this morning involving my left contact lense. Now I have to wear an eye patch until my eye heals so I can walk around with only one lense in without getting dizzy."
BF: "Arrrrrre you ok?"
Me: "Har har. I'm fine."
BF: "Ya knows I loves me wee poppet. Even if ye be a half-blind landlubber."
Me: "You're lucky I love you....."